Self Defence: Are You a Democrat or a Republican?


Are you a Democrat or a Republican?  Here’s a little test to help you decide:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.  Suddenly, a man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.  You are carrying a Glock .40 cal, and you are an expert shot.  You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!  Does the man look poor?  Or oppressed?  Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?  Could we run away?  What does my wife think?  What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?  What does the law say about this situation?  Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?  Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?  Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?  If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?  Should I call 9-1-1?  Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!  I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer

BANG! BANG!

Extra Credit: Southern Republican’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click…..(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silvertips or Federal Hydra-Shoks?”

via Paco in comments here

UPDATE:  A typical rational Australian Lefty replies –

4 Responses to “Self Defence: Are You a Democrat or a Republican?”

  1. Merilyn Says:

    hawk has left another one on pg 3 of Tim’s blog.

    • spot_the_dog Says:

      He & Livid never fail to bring the Stupid, do they.

  2. Merilyn Says:

    Livid, “Self-employed consultant psychologist”………yikes.

  3. The Wizard of WOZ Says:

    I must be a little bit southern, I’d put two in the chest and one in the head.


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