“And I put one in my arse”, says future MENSA candidate.


This story from Australias best newspaper will bring tears to your eyes.

Its the story of a young man pushing back the boundaries of science in his quest for knowledge, pyrotchnics and human endurance.

But seriously how can you go past a front page like this one…

Genius, pure genius.

 

A few choice highlights from the reporting.

A MAN who suffered serious burns when friends lit a firecracker in his bum says he was just showing his visiting mates a Territory good time.

Alex Bowden, 23, of Wagaman, Darwin, put a spinning “flying bee” winged firework in his butt crack during a party at a rented house on Rossiter St, Rapid Creek on Saturday night.

His mate Todd Lovell lit the fuse.

“I had a few lads up from Queensland and I had to put on a good show,”

…..

“It didn’t burn my balls or my back,” the fitter and turner said. “Just my fingers and my arse. “It was a pretty loose one, hey.”

….

His mate Reece McEwen said: “He screamed a little bit and there were a fair few f-words”.

But Mr Bowden denied that there were tears.

“You can’t sit here crying,” he said.

 

Anfd how is his family coping with the shame and embarassment??

Mr Bowen said his mother “thought it was funny”.

Moo-Dog


That is all.

via the wonderful @LATunleashed. CLICK

Ode to Alene (apols. White Stripes) [Update: ABC moosed] [More Updates: #POPCORN!]


Alene Alene Alene Ale-eeene

I’m begging of you, please don’t leave your fans
Alene Alene Alene Ale-eeene
please don’t leave us just because you can
your snarkage is beyond compare
with flaming gobs of overshare
with shell-thin skin
and eyes of bilious green
your blog is such a poisonous thing
of your moose knuckles we do sing
Tim Blair cannot compete with you Alene
Bolt talks about you in his sleep
and there is nothing they can do to keep
from crying when we call your name, Alene
Alene Alene Alene Ale-eeene
I’m begging of you please don’t leave your fans
Alene Alene Alene Ale-eeene
please don’t leave us even though you can
well we can’t easily understand
how you can easily leave your fans
you do not know what you mean to us Alene
well you could have your choice of friends
but we could never laugh again
you’re the only one for us Alene
and I had to had to have this talk with you
my happiness depends on you
and whatever you decide to do Alene
Alene Alene Alene Ale-eeene
We’re begging of you please don’t leave your fans
please don’t leave us
even though you can
~dissolves into anguished sobs~

Show your support for Alene – vote here:

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UPDATE:   Has Our ABC been moose’d ?  See comment below, then updates at Bolt’s, and this by Beck.

UPDATE 2:   So, whodunnit?  Your guesses here.

UPDATE 3:   MOOSE TRAP [Tim Blair]

UPDATE 4:  Bolt - “This is unbelievable. Insane anti-Liberal hatred is now so mainstream that not only is the most florid facsimile of it by a parodist published, no questions asked, by the ABC, but the Sydney Morning Herald still treats it as genuine even after the ABC very belatedly smells a rat.” CLICK

UPDATE 5:  Tim Blair responds to ABC online editor Jonathan “It was plausible!” Green – “I know this, son: if someone came to me with a story about moose and genitals and a female Labor premier, it’d have to pass some serious tests prior to publication.”  Click for more.

UPDATE 6:  She’s baaaaack! #WINNING

UPDATE 7:   Unjustly accused! Oh, c’mon guys.  Lies and calumny!

UPDATE 8:  Alene Composta {hearts} Jonathan Holmes! And Bolt has a look at Alene’s email to Jonathan Green.

UPDATE 9:  Oh, my.  Andrew Bolt’s column pinging Jonathan Green and “our” ABC; Tim Blair has the Compleat Composta Timeline; and yes: it is just like a “Car Crash In Slow Motion”.

UPDATE 10:  For any newcomers, I suggest you start with Tim Blair’s timeline of L’Affaire Composta which takes you from the beginning to today (19 March) and work your way back.

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Crazy dog man!


It’s good to see suburban Australia still has well-balanced chaps like this on in it.

Ht: Shadowlands

Now this is lateral thinking…


I dont quite know whether to be appalled at the stupidity or impressed by the lateral thinking shown by the driver of this car.

The worst thing is, it worked well enough for them to get to the local shops.

Can you see it yet?

Another long shot.

Yes, its a garden hose.for.a.tire..

Now just how much work has gone into this dodgy brothers effort??

So there you have it, Leonardo Da Bogan, inventor exroadinare!!

Bill killed


Like no one doesn’t know already. Kung Fu was a bit before my time but he’s simply awesome in Kill Bill 2.

Still, what is it with this rope-neck-sack thing? First Hutchence, then CNN’s Richard Quest, and now Carradine. What ever happened to regular coitus?

Russian Scientist: UFO Self-Sacrificed to Save Earth at Tunguska


Courtesy of MINA (You’ve never heard of MINA? The Macedonian International News Agency?), comes the umpteenth story about the 1908 Tunguska Event and a possible UFO.

Get a load of this.

“Aliens downed Tunguska meteorite to protect our planet from devastation, stated Russian scientist Yuriy Lavbin about the 100 year old mystery surrounding the massive Siberian explosion. He showed 10 quartz crystals that he found at the place of the meteorite’s crash. Several of the crystals have holes in between, so they can be united in a chain.

- What could this chain serve for? Besides, some crystals have strange drawings on them. We don’t have any technologies that can print such kind of drawings on crystals. We also found ferrum silicate that can not be produced anywhere, except in space”, – the scientist stated.”

OoooooooooooKay. I’m sure aliens with technology so superior to ours that it’s indistinguishable from magic to us… wouldn’t have any higher tech material than quartz to make a control panel from.

Personally, I prefer this highly logical and scientific explanation.

Artist's Conception of 1908 Tunguska Blast

Artist's Conception of 1908 Tunguska Blast

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