Now I understand


I’ve spent years trying to figure out why people fail to understand how governments have been systematically tearing down the foundations of individual liberties. How can they not see it? How can they not understand what is happening?

Now I understand. Completely. Read this, and you will too.

I’m going to lie down now. In the fetal position. And try to find a happy place.

Posted in WTF. Tags: , , . 4 Comments »

Occupy….Frederick?!?!?


I live in a city (and I use the term extremely loosely) named Frederick. Frederick, Maryland, to be exact. Frederick is located 45 miles west of Baltimore, 45 miles northwest of Washington, DC. There are somewhere between 50,000 and 75,000 people who live in greater Frederick/Walkersville/Braddock Heights/New Market. Metropolis it ain’t. In fact, up until the cost of housing in greater Washington pushed suburbia on Frederick, it was considered “the sticks”. Nowheresville. Residents of Frederick are referred to as “Frednecks“. You get the idea.

The Occupy movement, which started with Wall Street, evolved to include many cities in the US, including Los Angeles, Sacramento, Seattle, Cincinnati, Austin, Washington, and others. The main thing these cities have in common is that they are either state capitals or major population centers. And the main thing that Occupy protesters have in common is that they are leftist spoiled kids from the suburbs who think the world owes them a living.

So how do “Frederick, MD” and “Occupy” end up in the same sentence? Behold, Occupy Frederick!

Frederick has officially been occupied.

Members of Occupy Frederick set up tents and hung signs next to Carroll Creek on Market Street on Sunday afternoon in hopes of getting the word out about their Occupy Our Homes foreclosure event in early February.

Fifteen to 20 people braved below-freezing temperatures and trudged through snow in their winter coats, gloves and hats on Sunday, trying to stay warm while building awareness.

Building awareness. How very progressive! [cue puking noises]

I’m rather at a loss trying to figure out how left wing pukes “raising awareness” are going to fare among the Frednecks. Perhaps we Frednecks can raise THEIR awareness. Lessons they could learn include:

“Get a job!”
“Occupy THIS!”
“I got yer 99% RIGHT HERE!”
“Why don’t you ‘occupy’ a bathtub, you filthy hippy maggots!”

And, the one they most need to learn: “We don’t owe you shit!”

“Happens all the time.”


Yes.  It can and does.  Frequently.

We blame Global Warming.  Also, Tony Abbott.

Next?

-via @AwkwardMsgs1111

PayPal, or PayBully?


My son tried to make a purchase yesterday using my PayPal account. The payment was declined by PayPal.

Unfortunately, you’ve hit your initial PayPal sending limit of $10,000.00 USD. That’s why your recent payment was declined.
 
Your sending limit is the maximum amount of money you can send or use for purchases before you need to become Verified.
  
We place initial limits on all accounts to increase security and help prevent fraud. Once you link and confirm a bank account or get approved for PayPal credit, your account will be Verified and you’ll be able to make as many payments as you like with PayPal.

My reaction was complete incredulity. They were fine pushing my money through their service right up until, apparently, the moment I spent too much money? WTF?

I took a day to stew over how to handle it. Then I sent this reply.

Yesterday you rejected a payment on the premise that I have “exceeded my spending limit”. Let’s break this down logically, shall we? In order to exceed my limit – a completely arbitrary limit set by you – I had to pass $10K through your service. Since sellers who use your service kick back a substancial fee to you per transaction, that means you’ve made a great deal of money from transactions made by me and members of my family.
 
But that’s not good enough for you. No. You insist that, in order to continue utilizing your service, I must provide you with my bank account information or use your credit card for future transactions.
 
I’m not sure what it is that motivates this strong-arm action on your part. Is it greed? Control? What? All I know is that what you are demanding makes no rational sense to me.
 
I will not provide you with my bank account information. Why would I do that, when you’re regular targets of hackers – particularly Anonymous hackers – who would be able to run wild with my financial information? Nor will I be coerced into using your credit card.
 
I passed $10K through your system over the past several years. I will not pass one additional penny though it. Find someone else to strong-arm. I have other options that don’t involve being bullied by a service provider.

To summarize: PayPal can kiss my lily-white ass.

That ain’t right


It’s bad enough that Abraham Lincoln is revered in this country, notwithstanding the Constitutional wreckage his presidency left behind. But most Americans – including, until yesterday, me – aren’t aware that another Constitution-wrecker is being given special posthumous honors on an annual basis.


Just learned on @dailyrundown that each yr a military honor guard lays a wreath on Woodrow Wilson’s tomb. Can next R president stop this?


WHA-WHA-WHAT?!?!?!?!? Woodrow effing Wilson?!?!?!?!?

For those of you unfamiliar with the disgrace that was Woodrow Wilson, his presidency was the first real-world implementation of fascism, a full decade before the original Il Duce, Benito Mussolini, coined the term. Wilson employed legislative coercion, media control, and even outright thuggery to achieve his ends. His current address is that dark corner of Hell where despots and tyrants spend their days. This piece of shit gets a military honor guard? Every frickin’ year?

That ain’t right. It just ain’t right.

Self-inflicted wound


And here I was worried that the media, the Team Elephant establishment, and the other GOP candidates were going to take down Ron Paul. It appears he’s pretty good at it himself.


Ron Paul is taking “no comment” to a whole new level.

The Republican presidential candidate walked out on a CNN interview Wednesday following a heated discussion over racist newsletters that were sent out in his name more than two decades ago.

The usually mild-mannered, Texas congressman – who’s leading in some Iowa polls – became irked when network reporter Gloria Borger pressed Paul about the newsletters.

Paul said he was sick of being “pestered” by reporters about the issue.


*face palm*

He can’t seriously believe that he can withstand allegations of racism and bigotry by running away, can he? I admire the guy, to be sure, but even I have issues with the way he handled this.

*sigh* I guess I’d better get used to the term “President Romney” in 2013.

TSSA – coming to a highway near you


I don’t know which is more chilling – the reported news, or the headline.

Tennessee Becomes First State To Fight Terrorism Statewide

You’re probably used to seeing TSA’s signature blue uniforms at the airport, but now agents are hitting the interstates to fight terrorism with Visible Intermodal Prevention and Response (VIPR).

“Where is a terrorist more apt to be found? Not these days on an airplane more likely on the interstate,” said Tennessee Department of Safety & Homeland Security Commissioner Bill Gibbons.

Tuesday Tennessee was first to deploy VIPR simultaneously at five weigh stations and two bus stations across the state.

Anyone harboring any illusion that 21st century American media is anything other than the propaganda organs of Big Government is delusional.

But enough criticism of the lapdog media’s fawning. What we have here is the dreaded “next step” in the so-called War on Terror.

Our rulers have moved beyond herding us about at airports. Now they want to slowly get us used to being spot searched on our highways. They start small, with truck inspections at weigh stations. And before you can say, “WTF! Fourth Amendment violation!”, it’ll be random traffic stops of ordinary folks in passenger vehicles.

As if another reason to hate the failed War on Drugs is needed, the power for state police to stop a motorist on the most minimal (or invented) probable cause is already in place, courtesy of “law and order” judges ruling in favor of police in the majority of random stop cases to “stem the flow of drugs”. I suppose our rulers figure that since the War on Drugs has been such a phenomenal success [/sarcasm], they might as well extend those benefits to the far more successful War on Terror personal freedoms.

Like the proverbial frog in a pot of water that is slowly brought to a boil, we sit in bovine stupor as our freedoms are stripped from us. As long as we have American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and tons of televised sports, we’re content to pretend that we live in the “freest nation on Earth”.

But pretending doesn’t make it so.

Awkward.

Posted in WTF. 18 Comments »

Our Langolier government


Most of you probably remember the book and/or movie, The Langoliers. Those little creatures would gobble up, or destroy if you will, everything – matter, space, time – they came across.

In a sense, the Gillard (and previously, Rudd) government has many similarities. Everything her Langolier eyes set themselves upon, they destroy.

The list is unbelievable.

Read the rest of this entry

Governor Moonbeam strikes again


Governor Jerry Brown of Kahleefornia must have felt that he hadn’t left enough wreckage his first stint as Governer (1975-1983), during which he earned the moniker “Governor Moonbeam” as a result of his wacky libtard ways. Apparently he learned absolutely nothing in the ensuing 28 years, because he’s still finding new and inventive ways to ruin the Golden State. Ladies and gentlemen: how NOT to generate tax revenues.


Amazon.com today said it will sever ties with some 10,000 affiliates in California to protest the Internet sales-tax law signed by Gov. Jerry Brown Wednesday.

The big online retailer has been threatening to cut those ties since February. In emails today to its California affiliates, Amazon called the bill “unconstitutional and counterproductive. ” The bill is part of the budget package passed by the Legislature.

The affiliates are businesses and nonprofits that have Amazon links on their websites. When someone clicks through that link and buys something from Amazon, the affiliate gets a fee.

Under the bill, Amazon will have to collect sales tax on all sales to Californians.


People like Governor Moonbeam are not called libtards for nothing. Brown knew that Amazon was going to do this because…wait for it…they’ve been telling him so since February. And yet he STILL signed the bill into law! I wonder how many jobs (and the tax revenues they provide) will be lost as a result of this ass-headed attempt to put a gun to Amazon’s head and extort tribute from them.

Asshat.

Going to jail for rooting!


An amusing conversation yesterday out in the back blocks of town…

 

Helping the old man clear out about 10 acres of paddock infested with wattle roots/trees. Lots of chaining and ripping out tree stumps etc. Bit of a share farming operation for a market garden the old man and his missus are taking on.

 

The old bloke that owns the land came out to help a bit, his son, a fine strapping 20 year old was ploughing up some of the cleared land.

 

Say to old bloke “boy is pretty good on the tractor, must be handy”

Old bloke replies “yeah but hes off to jail soon”

I said “whats he going away for”

Old bloke replies “Rooting!”

I say “You can’t go to jail for that can you?”

He replies “You can if its your sister”

Hard to know quite how to continue the conversation after that….

Weiner Pulls Out


It’s the end of an error. Weiner’s out.


Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) will resign from his seat in Congress, heeding calls from President Barack Obama, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and dozens of other congressional Democrats, sources confirm to POLITICO. The resignation ends nearly three weeks of tumultuous political controversy since the New York congressman sent a lewd picture of himself over Twitter which he claimed at first was a result of a hack, and later admitted he had sent himself.

Weiner is expected to make his resignation official in a statement to the press at a senior center in Brooklyn at 2 pm.


Weiner pulled out at senior center? Think of the poor old women!

The schadenfreude has been beyond blissful. A creepy libtard is caught flashing his namesake. Caught lying about it. Accused of asking a former prØn star to lie for him.

There’s the name. The jokes. The throngs laughing in his face.

Good bye, Weiner. At Tizona, we prefer Bush.

On the Internet, Nobody Knows You’re a Dog (or a Make-Believe Lesbian)


Another one?  Are there NO real lesbians on the internet?

Click, click, clickity click.

(And be sure to read to the end of clickity… there’s a bonus twist at the end)

UPDATE: Andrea Harris aka @twistyspinster has a handy-dandy tool for finding your lesbian name, so you too can pretend to be a lesbian on the Internet!

UPDATE II: More lesbians!  Mark Steyn, Jonah Goldberg, Mark Krikorian, John Derbyshire and a host of Tim Blair readers out themselves, along with our own  Bingbing Amethyst Thunder.

UPDATE III:  At Reason.com, “Love in the Time of Sockpuppets”

It’s not news that the Internet is rife with role-playing. Take all the masquerades of real life, add anonymity, throw in some viral marketers and alternate reality games and lonelygirl15s for flavor, and you get a network that can’t go a month without grabbing your shirt, slapping your face, and screaming DOUBT IS YOUR FRIEND. I like to think the long-term social effect will be a general increase in skepticism. In the short term, I feel like I tuned in to ‘The L Word’ and got ‘Mission:Impossible’ instead.

In that vein, I’d like to take the opportunity to confess that my name is not spot, and I am not a dog.  It’s just that doris_the_quokka doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

Anyone else have confessions?  Add them in comments.

h/t Stacy McCainBryan Preston & Tim Blair

Congressman(‘s) Weiner


Weiner awardSome guys just never learn. Sean Salisbury. Brett Favre. And now aptly-named Congress-critter Anthony “wanna see my” Weiner.


Our debt ceiling is yet to be raised as the healthcare debate looms large, yet the most important political news of the moment revolves around a Brooklyn representative’s penis.


As Weiner himself noted, “The jokes write themselves.”

I thought Weiner was a little stiff at his news converence.

What’s the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? About 6 inches.

An inch more he’d be a king; an inch less he’d be a queen.

The police investigated whether a penis picture was displayed. The case was thrown out due to lack of evidence.

(Insert the “wiener” joke of your choice here)

HONEY BADGERS — F**K YEAH!


Honey badger don’t care.  Honey badger don’t give a sh*t.

UPDATE:  Speed turtle.

More climate chicanery


A dog bites man headline – “NASA Gets Caught Faking Climate Change Data-AGAIN!” (Hat tip to Vulture pal Stacy Allgood for the tip).


The climate change hoaxers use computer models to predict that sea levels would rise anywhere from 15 inches to 2o feet because of global warming in the 21st century (the consensus number is closer to 3 feet).

But Mother Nature was never good at computer science. Satellite data proved that the first decade of the 21st century sea level grew by only 0.83 inches (a pace of just 8 inches for the entire century). What’s even worse (for the global warming hoaxers) there has been no rise since 2006. Now I know that some Democrats believe that Obama is a miracle worker, but even the the crazies at the Daily Kos would admit that controlling sea level is way above his pay grade. So the scientists at the University of Colorado’s NASA-funded Sea Level Research Group did what any other self-respecting cult members would do, they fudged the numbers. They simply added .3 millimeters per year to its Global Mean Sea Level Time Series. That way they could report that the sea level rise was accelerating, instead of what was actually happening–decelerating.


Yeah…this data is no good. We’ll have to “fix it”.

And “fix it” they do. But what they mean by “fix” and what I mean by “fix” are two different things entirely.

Trust me when I say, “The fix is in”.

Naughty Jihadi!


According to this report, Usama bin Laden (or someone in his posse) was waging Jihad against the little infidel in his pants.


A stash of pornography was found in the hideout of Osama bin Laden by the U.S. commandos who killed him, current and former U.S. officials said on Friday.

The pornography recovered in bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, consists of modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive, according to the officials, who discussed the discovery with Reuters on condition of anonymity.

The officials said they were not yet sure precisely where in the compound the pornography was discovered or who had been viewing it. Specifically, the officials said they did not know if bin Laden himself had acquired or viewed the materials.


I’m not sayin’…I’m just sayin’.

Posted in Funny, WTF. Tags: , . 13 Comments »

Finally: The Obama SEAL Team 6 Action Figure


Seriously?

Obama SEAL Team 6 Action Figure

"Gutsy Call!"

Navy SEALs have become national heroes since news broke that they took down Osama bin Laden, so it’s fitting that the newest action figure from a Connecticut company is a fierce-looking President Barack Obama as a SEAL.

The minute Obama said late on the night of May 1 that the U.S. had found and killed bin Laden, Emil Vicale knew which his action figure company’s would make next — Rambama.

On Wednesday morning, Hero Builders released the Obama SEAL Team 6 action figure — a muscular President in fatigues armed with an M1-A4.

Wait, asks @JammieWearingFooldon’t those buff, toned, glistening biceps look familiar? 

Hmmm…

.

UPDATE [Friday]:  The entire Google ‘Blogger’ platform  is currently pretty much munted. JammieWearingFool’s post at the link above, along with one presumes millions of other posts from the past 24-36 hours, is AWOL as I write this.  One hopes Blogger gets its chit together soon.  Or we’ll have to call in IT Support Superstar Blogbama. (Please, no more action figures – we beg you).

And it begins…


(Cross-posted from The Vulture Lurks)

You knew it was coming. After all, you can’t just kill Usama bin Laden and declare victory. Oh no. You have to milk the sumbitch for all it’s worth. Welcome to 2001, the sequel.

An advisory has been sent to law enforcement officials advising them to be vigilant about train security based on information uncovered after the death of Osama bin Laden, officials said.

Officials stressed the advisory is general in nature and the information apparently uncovered from the bin Laden compound dates back more than a year.

According to NBC News, U.S. officials say they have not found reference to specific plots. Instead, they say they’ve found what they call “aspirational” items — events al-Qaida operatives were interested in trying to make happen.

I see. So…we’re in a heightened state of alert and expected to endure God-knows-what in the name of “security” based on…al-Qaida’s wishlist????

*bangs head on wall*

Taking credit


Amidst all of the happy talk following the death of Usama bin Laden, there is a telling tale of the true nature of our dear President, Il Duce.  In his press conference Sunday night, he made a big show of highlighting his decisiveness and his role in the military action.

Today, at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation against that compound in Abbottabad Pakistan.

Uh, yeah…about that

The operation was at this time effectively unknown to President Barack Obama or Valerie Jarrett and it remained that way until AFTER it had already been initiated. President Obama was literally pulled from a golf outing and escorted back to the White House to be informed of the mission. Upon his arrival there was a briefing held which included Bill Daley, John Brennan, and a high ranking member of the military. When Obama emerged from the briefing, he was described as looking “very confused and uncertain.” The president was then placed in the situation room where several of the players in this event had already been watching the operation unfold. Another interesting tidbit regarding this is that the Vice President was already “up to speed” on the operation. A source indicated they believe Hillary Clinton had personally made certain the Vice President was made aware of that day’s events before the president was. The now famous photo released shows the particulars of that of that room and its occupants. What that photo does not communicate directly is that the military personnel present in that room during the operation unfolding, deferred to either Hillary Clinton or Robert Gates. The president’s role was minimal, including their acknowledging of his presence in the room.

At my direction? Uh-huh.

One need only take a look at the photograph of the situation room to know what Il Duce’s role in the event was. It’s standard meeting protocol; the people who are directly involved in decision making have a seat at the table, and everyone else grabs a chair where they can. Vice President Hairplugs and Succubus of State Clinton have a seat at the table; they are in on the decision making. Obama’s seat indicates spectator status.

As if we should be surprised…

Dr Freud?


You know, one goes through a whole lotta emotions, thoughts etc. before getting married, but I wasn’t expecting this one…

Passed/conked out on the sofa about 9pm last night. Woke up just before 4am.

The dream?

Iowahawk selling illegal meat.

???

Posted in WTF. 4 Comments »

“I had to.”


Of course you did.

h/t our spam filter

A Return to the Dark Ages


It's lots more fun to play in good light!

In 1939 people knew the value of electricty

 

The headline : “Era of constant electricity at home is ending, says power chief”

Steve Holliday, chief executive of the National Grid, said “We are going to change our behaviour and consume it when it is available and available cheaply”

Another bright idea (I think it stinks)

What were you looking for?


What are you looking for?

Recent search terms which have led people to this blog

gemma arterton, australian flag, goatse, ann coulter, australia map, mankini, australia, iga, danica patrick, michelle obama, puffin, army, apollo 11, brazilian wandering spider, steve urkel, sandwich, kristanna loken, peugeot 907, australian spider, mieke buchan, obama countdown clock, koala, dogs, funny dogs, harpy eagle.

All someone needs to do now is compose a post which includes all of those terms, with maybe a “sarah palin nude” &/or “palin bikini” (two close runners-up) thrown in for added sparkle, and we’ll have the dream post everyone’s looking for.

Anyone game?

Dont piss off your tattooist..


 

I know this is a bad thing, but am I evil if my first reaction was to laugh?

 Police at Ipswich west of Brisbane have charged a 21-year-old tattooist who is accused of putting an obscene picture on a customer’s back instead of the image requested.

  
So how bad could it have been?
The 25-year-old customer wanted a yin and yang symbol and a dragon…
 

Now what did he get instead?

.. but instead was given a 40 centimetre tattoo of a penis and a rude slogan implying he was gay.

Something like this perhaps?

 

..It is believed the pair had earlier been involved in an argument.

  

You think???

Police say the tattooist will appear in court next month charged with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one charge relating to the Public Safety Act.

  

So there you have it, dont piss off the man making the permanent markings on an area of your body you can’t see…

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