Don’t Let This Happen To You

There was a story of interest in the Herald Sun today (no link), about a drop bear attack. Here’s an extract:

Melissa Kerrin, 15, was on a school camping trip at Mt. Macedon National Park when she encountered one of Australia’s most vicious creatures. The year 10 student, a native of the United States, was attacked by a drop bear (koalus ataqus) while hiking along a bush trail in the National Park.

Drop bears are a common species in Australia, and live mostly in gum and eucalypt trees in the eastern States, and are most prevalent in Tasmania. They look remarkably similar to the koala, although their claws, used for climbing trees and attacking prey, are larger, and they have two large fangs, used to hold their prey while excising flesh with a row of smaller, more jagged fangs behind the two larger ones.

Ms. Kerrin’s guardian and school teacher, Mr. Peter Healey, told this reporter that “We just didn’t know what was happening. First, we were walking, and then suddenly there was a flash of gray, a scream, and it was all over. Mel was on the ground, unconscious, and it wasn’t until the park ranger saw the wounds that we knew what had happened. We had to carefully carry Mel back to the ranger station and call an ambulance.”

According to Mr. Healey, the park ranger, Michael Porter, then organized a search team led by Aboriginal tracker Marjoria Toowombat, to track down the dangerous animal before any other casualties occur. Mr. Porter reportedly then tried some of the traditional bush healing techniques to tend to Ms. Kerrin’s injuries, without success.

Parks Victoria released an official statement early this morning, in which they stated “The ranger at the scene responded to the incident in accordance with the official guidelines, including the use of the animal tracking team. We regret that this incident has occurred, and wish Ms. Kerrin a speedy recovery.”

Ms. Kerrin’s parents are reportedly on their way to Australia to be with their daughter, who is in the Alfred Hospital in a serious condition. She was unable to be reached for comment.

Dangerous little fuckers, those drop bears. Don’t mess with them.

16 Responses to “Don’t Let This Happen To You”

  1. missredi Says:

    nasty creatures. obviously one should never travel to australia without a personal anti caniform obliterator. since such a weapon would not past customs, PACO industries, Oz division, no doubt sells them at a premium price

  2. Ash Says:

    Nahhh, Missred, you don’t even need a personal anti-caniform obliterator to get rid of drop bears. Just dab a bit of Vegemite on either side of your neck and you should be right.

  3. tizona Says:

    LOL…Yes indeed. Anything smeared on the body, that would scare off faux animals, damn sure ain’t goin’ on my biscuits…NOR my food!…:).

  4. missredi Says:

    what a waste of vegemite, ash

  5. Ash Says:

    It’s no waste of vegemite Missred, it’s a safety procedure.

    Although it’s all I can do not to leap at someone who’s protecting themselves and lick it off. That may be scarier than the drop bear though.

  6. missredi Says:

    in that case, my dear ash, as fond as you as i am.. i will stay well away from you when fending off drop bears!! lol

  7. spot_the_dog Says:

    That is seriously scary, Ash. And it had to happen to a Yank, didn’t it? Damned litigious, those Seppos. I hear John Edward’s old team of Personal Injury Specialist lawyers are already looking into filing suit.

    Hey Victoria, remember what it was like being bankrupt? You all is about to be PWNED big-time!

  8. Ash Says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re already looking at lawsuits Spot, because it was a pretty vicious attack from what I hear.

    Oh goody, my taxes are going up because some idiot forgot her Vegemite.

  9. saltydog Says:

    Well, now, I thought that Vegemite was an illegal substance here in the States. How am I to get it before I travel to Oz? This is no more help than the anti-caniform stuff! I guess this means that I’d better stay where I am.

  10. Ash Says:

    Salty, after leaving security after an international flight, there’s a duty-free store. It sells Vegemite… and pretty much everything else too. While you’re there, grab me some tax free booze!

  11. Ash Says:

    No. That’s just malicious rumours Spot.

  12. spot_the_dog Says:

    Well I’m surprised we’re still getting Yanks willing to visit, after that latest Australian Tourism Commission advertisement!

  13. spot_the_dog Says:

    P.S. If I’ve just linked your blog to my blog which has a link back to your blog, am I officially a link whore now?

  14. tizona Says:

    Yea, Yea…drops and hoops, I hear ya…lol


    WE both are….my man…lol

  15. The Secret Ingredient « Tizona’s Weblog Says:

    […] Vegemite is also useful for repelling drop bears. […]

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