Melbourne Is A Party Town!

Just heard some stupid bint on the radio:

“Melbourne is quite a party town. It moves from one party to the next.

And so once the Formula 1 Grand Prix leaves town, we move on to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, one of Australia’s best known events.”



What happened to the Grand Final, the Grand Prix, the Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race, the Melbourne Cup, the Melbourne to Hobart Yacht Race, the Annual Serial Murderer Arrest (Adelaide Based), the Mardi Gras, the Annual Resignation of a Labor Leader, the Moomba Festival, the Royal Shows, or any number of other things that are rated much more highly than the Melbourne Commie Festival?

So far this marvellous celebration of the utterly hilarious has been on for two weeks (19 March to 13 April), yet I’ve barely heard a peep about it. Hell, when I was in the city (last Wednesday), I didn’t even realise it had started, such is the hype and excitement.

Out of all the people appearing at this magnificent festival, the only ones I’ve heard of are Akmal Saleh (not funny), Andy Muirhead (not funny), Charlie Pickering (Not. Funny!), Corinne Grant (Oh Please God, NO!), Dave Hughes (see Corinne Grant), Fiona O’Loughlin (kinda funny, has her moments), Greg Fleet (not funny, unless maybe he was pushed down some stairs or something), Jimeoin (only funny when he copped a speeding ticket and whined and bitched and carried on for months), Michael Chamberlin (not too bad, but not too good either), Ross Noble (not funny, just looks it), Rove McManus (I. HATE. YOU), Tripod (not all that funny), the Umbilical Brothers (pretty funny), and Wil Anderson (Ash reaches for rusty razor blades). The average RWDB knowing only 14 out of about 100 acts is not a very good sign for a festival.

And now, in an act of real comedy, the radio bint is now saying “The surge in Iraq is collapsing, and so Kevin Rudd’s visit to George W Bush couldn’t come at a worse time for Bush. Bush is trying to perpetrate a visage of strength, but it’s not working, just as it never has in the past. With the surge collapsing, so will Bush’s Presidency.” Pssst… you idiot, Bush can’t run again anyway! His Presidency will be over regardless!

6 Responses to “Melbourne Is A Party Town!”

  1. spot_the_dog Says:

    On the last paragraph of your post, Ash, I am continually amazed at the sheer number of SFLTs who rail and rail against Bush’s alleged “stupidity,” who themselves have somehow never managed to understand the concept of term limits.

  2. Ash Says:

    It’s shocking, isn’t it Spot? And half of them push for term limits in Australia – or at least, they did when John Howard was Prime Minister.

    Apparently term limits must be a harder concept to understand than I thought. I get it, but there must be a zillion elements to it I don’t know about if it’s that difficult for your standard ABC presenter to underst- oh wait, never mind.

  3. spot_the_dog Says:

    #2 Yep it is pretty complicated. One term. Another term. Goodbye. Whew, no wonder lefties don’t get it! (Which would not be so bad if they did not continually go on about GWB being ‘stupid’!)

  4. Ash Says:

    I’m pretty sure they all still dream about Bush being impeached over Iraq, and that’s why they’re so sure he’ll never be able to run again.

    I’m also certain that many of them are still smarting over Bill Clinton…

  5. nilk Says:

    I’m not a big Wil Anderson fan, but I did catch him on the teev last night and while he took the piss out of GWB, he also had a good kick at muslims getting upset and at Osama Bin Liner.

    I did get a good laugh at that.

  6. J.M. Heinrichs Says:


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