A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.
Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang.
So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said ‘OK take off arr your crose.’
The woman did as she was told.
‘Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.’
Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said ‘OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.’ So she did.
Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said, ‘Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary diease.
Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.’
Worried the woman asked anxiously, ‘Oh my God Dr.Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease?’
Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, ‘Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass.’
Reps. Jim McDermott (D-Wash.) and Mike Thompson (D-Calif.) were put under the microscope by charges that their 2002 trip to Iraq was paid for by Saddam Hussein’s government. Federal prosecutors last month alleged that a Michigan resident arranged for Iraq to pay for the trip by the two House members and then-Rep. David Bonior (D-Mich.). The resident, Muthanna Al-Hanooti, has been indicted on two counts of conspiracy and three counts of lying to the FBI about working for Iraqi agents.
The documents suggest that other members of Congress could also face scrutiny, The Hill’s Mike Soraghan reports.
Though the indictment mentions only one trip by members, it said Al-Hanooti “would organize delegations from the United States Congress to Iraq.”
Note the plural, “delegations.”
There’s no proof of other trips taking place; the congressional travel database compiled by Legistorm indicates only one trip ever being paid for by al-Hanooti’s group, Life for Relief and Development.
A Justice Department spokesman declined to clarify the indictment any further, saying “The indictment speaks for itself.”
Howitzer Battery uses several strategically placed Paladins located at Badoush Prison located just outside the northern Ninewa province city of Mosul, to support ground troop movement in the area. They conduct an average of three fire missions a night from the combat outpost there, mostly illumination rounds.
“Our role is to support troops in contact with indirect fire, whether it be with 155mm high explosive rounds, Excalibur (guided munitions) or illumination rounds,” said Howitzer Battery Fire Directions Chief, Staff Sgt. Gustavo Martinez.
“We can use guided munitions to support any task or mission and pinpoint areas or buildings,” Martinez continued. “We use illumination rounds to light up an area at night to limit or reveal enemy movement.”
The Paladin is operated by a four man crew consisting of a driver, gunner, cannoneer and chief of section. Howitzer Battery crews work 24 hour shifts in the Paladins at Badoush, on call to support ground troops in contact. After a 24 hour shift, the crew will take 48 hours off to conduct maintenance, chores and guard duty around the combat outpost.
Paladin Gunner, Spc. James Simpson, of Howitzer Battery said working in such a tight quarters with his fellow teammates can lead to skirmishes at times but nothing to serious. His crew works together fluidly.
“You get to know your section and work together really well,” said Simpson.
Still, such a work schedule can lead to boredom. The crews of Howitzer Battery conduct training between fire missions to keep busy.
“We get a lot of training done, more than we did back in Fort Hood,” said Chief of Section, Staff Sgt. Freddy Perdue of Howitzer Battery. “You gotta do something while we’re all in there together for 24 hours straight. But we enjoy our jobs helping the people out there, especially the maneuver forces.”
Perdue said he enjoys doing what he was trained to do. While many Redlegs are taking on the role of a foot soldier in Iraq today, Perdue and Howitzer Battery are carrying on the Redleg legacy.
“Being in the war we are fighting now we can adapt to anything,” said Martinez. “A lot of the guys in our battery are doing infantry tactics and things of that nature. As far as the field artillery guys that are actually doing the field artillery mission, it’s important. You never know. There could be a patrol out there that comes into direct contact with a large group of insurgents and we are here to help by providing indirect fire in a matter of minutes.
ForGodDamnGet, Hussein Obama. Just remember these people…These people allow Hussein to shoot his mouth off, about “change”. OH, these people probably don’t make his bitch wife, “proud”.
“It all highlights a key fault line within the Arab mind: admiration for everything the West has achieved — knowledge, personal freedom, equality of the sexes, modernity, secularism, and the right of individuals to pursue happiness — is rampant among Arabs and Muslims and simultaneously branded a forbidden fruit.”
“Similarly, thousands of Muslim sheikhs weekly climb onto their pulpits to inveigh for Sharia laws, with their unforgiving punishments — decapitation, stoning, crucifixion, whipping, and separation of sexes — vowing that this one single move will bring an end to all earthly corruption and injustice.
One can fulminate over Hamas’ children’s programs teaching babes how to spill blood, but the bigger misdeed is numbing their minds just as Al Jazeera deadens those of their parents, rendering all unequipped to resolve real problems when they unfold. In the end it all adds up to one gigantic suspension of disbelief.”
Pajamas Media April 8, 2008 – by Youssef M. Ibrahim
Well Youssef M. Ibrahim, how does this get FIXED?
World Net Daily has a very informative article today about our petition to investigate the Flight 93 memorial. It includes excerpts from Tom Burnett’s letter to the American people; it includes information about the fraudulent Park Service investigation (where an Islamic scholar said not to worry about the half mile wide Mecca oriented crescent because nobody has ever seen a mihrab anywhere near this BIG before); and it reviews the four specific complaints highlighted in the petition (the giant crescent, the Mecca orientation, the Islamic sundial and the 44
Greenpeace have shown some courage, and admitted that they care about me getting bored. So they stuck some games on their website. Have a look at the games they have on offer and tell me that they don’t make you want to both laugh and cry.
Especially NukeSweeper.
Oh, and I’m really, really sorry about that time I blew up the US. Can you guys forgive me?
Further to this post by Angus Dei, the folks at The People’s Cube have been having some Absolut fun lately…
These photographs were taken from space by Astronaut Sunita Williams.
They’re quite spectacular.
Wished Response:
Dear Asshole,
Re: the file attachment you sent me.
Fuck. You!
Yours Faithfully,
Ash.
Real Response:
Dear Asshole,
Re: the file attachment you sent to me
I note that Collingwood’s outstanding success since the 1990 Grand Final has allowed for them to attain the knowledge that their supporters cannot actually afford club memberships. Or dental work.
Yours Faithfully,
Ash.
The Olympic relay of modern times is a triubute to… modern times.
I’ve just heard a couple of BBC types discussing the current situation with the torch being attacked by protesters. When one of the commentators described the origins of the relay I could hardly believe my ears. Wikipedia is not the most reliable of reference organs, admittedly. But it did support his claim:
The Olympic Flame from the ancient games was reintroduced during the 1928 Olympic Games when an employee of the Electric Utility of Amsterdam called Gerhard Herlitz lit for the first time the flame of the Olympic Games in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. In 1928, the flame burnt in the Marathon Tower of the Olympic Stadium in Amsterdam.
The modern convention of moving the Olympic Flame via a relay system from Olympia to the Olympic venue began with the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin… The relay, captured in Leni Riefenstahl’s film, “Olympia”, was part of the Nazi propaganda machine’s attempt to add myth and mystique to Adolf Hitler’s regime. Hitler saw the link with the ancient Games as the perfect way to illustrate his belief that classical Greece was an Aryan forerunner of the modern German Reich.
I don’t know about anyone else but I’m pretty well over the Olympics already. As far as I’m concerned the torch relay is the equal of overly prolonged foreplay that leads to an indifferent climax. I wouldn’t miss it at all.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. – Republican presidential candidate John McCain said Monday that calls from his Democratic rivals to withdraw U.S. forces from Iraq stand as a “failure of leadership” as they are making promises they cannot keep. Democrat Barack Obama said the failure rests with McCain’s support for an open-ended occupation of Iraq.
It’s getting to the point that I’d like to smack Hussein in the chops…Poor baby has his SS detail though and has, since last year. Whatsa’ matter Hussein, Black Panthers couldn’t get it up? You could have at least put your lovely “just proud” ugly wife out there. She’d frighten buzzards off a shit wagon.
At last word, McCain had none…Which I think is a silly ass thing to do, John.
I mean come on…out of the three running…YOU are the only one to vote for… Shape up, tough guy.