A probably NSFW public service announcement, below the break.
10] No woman makes it into any self-respecting man’s bed wearing anything, much less platform stiletto heels or thigh-high dominatrix boots.
09] Women posing provocatively on hard surfaces – hardwood and tile floors, kitchen counters, dining room tables and the like – only make men realize how badly a romp in those situations would hurt their knees.
08] Special mention should be made of pool tables: I know pool tables, and I’ve owned pool tables. Pool tables are expensive and notoriously difficult to set up properly. Not only that, but repairs are a serious inconvienience. There is no such thing as a chick who is hot enough to be allowed to crawl around on my pool table.
07] Lingerie can be fun, but simple things like terry cloth bathrobes and oversized men’s button-down shirts are even better because, you know, these items might actually exist in a bachelor’s crib.
06] Ridiculous headgear, like floppy hats, bunny ears, and santa caps, are cute for about two photographs.
05] Eroticism depends a lot upon mystery, therefore, extreme close-ups of nether regions are by definition non-erotic. Sending robotic cameras spelunking to a woman’s cervix sorta/kinda extinguishes the mystery factor, if you know what I mean.
04] Naked women covered in beach sand are not erotic. I’ve made love on the beach before, and that sand gets exactly into all of the places you don’t want it to. It will never happen again.
03] Men past a certain age will imagine tucking girls in school uniforms into bed, not making love to them. The same goes for girls posing on beds accompanied by gazillions of stuffed animals… and cheerleaders.
02] Lighting is important, and a little goes a long way. You don’t need a 5,000 watt Hot Spot four inches from a girl’s bottom to get a good shot.
01] Porn stars do not make good erotic models. Once you know a girl does hardcore, you never look at her quite the same way again.
And, never forget that an erotic photograph can be rated PG-13.
Note the subtle use of lighting, the texture of terry cloth, and the brilliant background: It’s cold in that harsh city outside, but you have a warm gorgeous girl inside. Then, there is the situational aspect: One can imagine that she’s just said, “Good morning, I made coffee.” What guy wouldn’t be insanely in love at that point?