Ok, I’ll admit, my misdeeds aren’t as funny as this, but I’m still sure I’ll be punished for them one day.
So here’s some more things I’ve done wrong:
- I kept a friend up until well past 1 am, even though I knew he had to get up at 5:30 am… and I laughed.
- I had impure thoughts about another person.
- I made a rude gesture at a pedestrian.
- I slowed down to 20km/h under the speed limit because the fuckwit in the truck behind me was annoying me.
- I called a dog a rude name for barking, and entertained thoughts of shooting it with a rifle.
- I placed a bet on a horse race that may not have been legal.
- I hung up the phone in the middle of a conversation with a work client, because he was annoying me.
- I put off lunch with an acquintance because of “work commitments”… but I was actually at home and took a nap. They’d been annoying me.
- I laughed at a businessman who was rushing and being impatient with other people, and promptly fell down an escalator. He’d annoyed me from afar, and it was hilarious.
- I went to the beach, but I refused to go in deep enough to give the sharks a free feed.
- I laughed when my cat walked into a playground, dug up some of the mulch, laid it’s steaming pile of catly business on the ground, buried it up and walked off. The hilarious part was that I snickered, and my five year old niece, in Prep, looked at me and said “Auntie Ash, we don’t laugh when people poo themselves in the playground. We have to be nice and take them to the teacher.” Which made me laugh so hard I almost fell over. The deadpan serious look on her face was awesome.
- And finally, I said something really stupid to a good friend, and at some point I plan on actually apologising… if they’ll let me. Oops.