More Of My Misdeeds

Ok, I’ll admit, my misdeeds aren’t as funny as this, but I’m still sure I’ll be punished for them one day.

So here’s some more things I’ve done wrong:

  1. I kept a friend up until well past 1 am, even though I knew he had to get up at 5:30 am… and I laughed.
  2. I had impure thoughts about another person.
  3. I made a rude gesture at a pedestrian.
  4. I slowed down to 20km/h under the speed limit because the fuckwit in the truck behind me was annoying me.
  5. I called a dog a rude name for barking, and entertained thoughts of shooting it with a rifle.
  6. I placed a bet on a horse race that may not have been legal.
  7. I hung up the phone in the middle of a conversation with a work client, because he was annoying me.
  8. I put off lunch with an acquintance because of “work commitments”… but I was actually at home and took a nap. They’d been annoying me.
  9. I laughed at a businessman who was rushing and being impatient with other people, and promptly fell down an escalator. He’d annoyed me from afar, and it was hilarious.
  10. I went to the beach, but I refused to go in deep enough to give the sharks a free feed.
  11. I laughed when my cat walked into a playground, dug up some of the mulch, laid it’s steaming pile of catly business on the ground, buried it up and walked off. The hilarious part was that I snickered, and my five year old niece, in Prep, looked at me and said “Auntie Ash, we don’t laugh when people poo themselves in the playground. We have to be nice and take them to the teacher.” Which made me laugh so hard I almost fell over. The deadpan serious look on her face was awesome.
  12. And finally, I said something really stupid to a good friend, and at some point I plan on actually apologising… if they’ll let me. Oops.
Posted in Funny. 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “More Of My Misdeeds”

  1. baleshlakshminarayanan Says:

    You are just Normal. Watch Southpark/Simpsons once a while 🙂

  2. spacecadette Says:

    you are too nice ;p

  3. tizona Says:

    I agree with both of the above comments…Normal and too nice.

    If that “good friend”, doesn’t accept an apology he/she/it is due, if in fact it is due, an apology, he/she/it wasn’t “good”, nor a “friend”, from the start.

  4. bingbing Says:

    The cat and its sandpit dump…

    Better than a dog taking a huge pee on the living room floor right next to the sofa… after two years of training. Or that same dog destroying a sweater, other clothing, lipstick, toothpaste, eye makeup and anything else it can get its chops around… jumping on chairs to get whatever it can… getting on the dining room table unless you remove the chairs, destroying (ripping apart) and humping the sofa, chewing cigarettes, pooing on the living room floor, destroying plants, barking incessantly and to top it off, destroying $5000 worth of designer shoes.

    Oh, and a $400 pair of Gucci sunglasses. Chewed like a bone.

  5. Ash Says:

    #1, Admittedly, not sure which is your first name or surname, so feel unpolite, but #1, I try to be polite, I just fail. I suck at everything, greatly.

    Space, I have my moments. Then again, I have my moments when I’m over the top and punish people for stuff that isn’t even offensive. I just know that I’ve pissed off almost everyone I know this week, and I’m kinda hoping a couple of them will be talking to me tomorrow.

    Tizona, I dearly hope they do accept my apology. I seriously mean it, and I was completely stupid, irresponsible and unfair in what I did say to them.

    Bingbing, I couldn’t have kept a straight face if I tried. Here’s a cute little lady, telling me exactly what she’d been taught at school with the straightest of faces, and I couldn’t tell her we make an exception for cats because it’s bloody funny, because then that would have been overruling both the teachers and the parents, and the idea is a decent one: don’t pick on other kids. It was just that it was Josh that was so damn funny.

  6. spacecadette Says:

    bb, i’d give jake the dior for breakfast. we’ll see if that will hurt or make me feel sooooo much better.

    ash, it’s 3am tuesday. that’s a good start ;p

  7. Dminor Says:

    #4 BB – Just talking about dogs in general, I gather 😉

  8. Dminor Says:

    Ash, those would be my good deeds.

  9. spacecadette Says:

    D, don’t really know what the fuss is about. maybe coz he has to deal with it. as far as i’m concerned, it’s my dog, my house and my shit. anything ruined that isn’t mine, i’ll pay for. but anyone coming over should remember that there’s a flying son of a bitch in the house! and i expect them not to leave anything anywhere and to keep the doors closed!

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