On Swanbourne Beach


Swanbourne to City Beach

An article in yesterday’s Courier Mail about the “no-jiggling” rule in force on Cairns (QLD) topless beaches spurred me to dig up the photo below.

There is a beach at Swanbourne which would have to be one of the most interesting beaches in my neck of the woods.  Some people stumble upon it accidentally (it is adjacent to a nice dog beach, for instance), whilst some go there on purpose for the niche sporting events (PDF).

As some here would also know, Swanbourne is also home to Campbell Barracks and Australia’s SAS Regiment.

Which leads to this question:  Can anyone else here lay claim to a Nude Beach in their area where patrons are warned via red flag when live-firing exercises are going on just the other side of the dunes?

Swanbourne Beach, Western Australia

Swanbourne Beach, Western Australia

UPDATE: The singularly perspicacious Boy On A Bike contributes his own thoughts and memories of Swanbourne Beach and the SASR.  Read.

13 Responses to “On Swanbourne Beach”

  1. The Wizard of WOZ Says:

    “Can anyone else here lay claim to a Nude Beach in their area where patrons are warned via red flag when live-firing exercises are going on just the other side of the dunes?”

    I can, my local is city beach, I guess that counts as the same area.

    I always though it was nice of the chicken stranglers to keep the pesky boaties away from the nudists by shooting at them.

  2. spot_the_dog Says:

    #1 I had an off-lead dog run up into the dunes just North of the South City Beach dog beach… We don’t go there no more :-0

    *And yes, I should have qualified that to “anyone else outside the Perth coastal strip“…

  3. Ash Says:

    Lucky bastards… warm weather and a nude beach?!

  4. spot_the_dog Says:

    #3 The other day on another blog I frequent, I was asked what I use the little toy telescope I got for Christmas for… (insert cool-hmmm emoticon here) LOL

  5. Ash Says:

    Telescopes are way cool. I should drag mine out again and use it.

    Sadly, Melbourne is often cloudy so there’s nothing to see.

  6. Rebecca H Says:

    We once visited the nude beach in St. Martins, out of curiosity (and hoping for some titillation, I won’t lie). The fact is, we saw a bunch of people who were the leatheriest, ugliest, wrinkliest people we had ever seen. But hey, they were skinny (except for the men who all had pouches hanging over their pride). Nude beaches are way overrated.

  7. The Wizard of WOZ Says:

    Erm, whats the deal with that sick looking potato picture in my post?

  8. Angus Dei Says:

    “Nude beaches are way overrated.”

    I can assure you, the topless beaches in Sweden are definitely not overrated. Only open a couple of months out of the year, though.

    Nothing quite like gaggles of blonde, topless girls in their late teens and early twenties running, skipping… and jiggling down a beach. I shudder at the mere memory of it. Thanks.

  9. Angus Dei Says:

    “I shudder at the udder mammary of it.”

    Fixed. Sorry.

  10. Nudiebeachguy Says:

    Well, let’s get the people a little better informed, and straighten out the idea that you can get shot easily on Swanbourne Beach.
    1. The firing range runs at a steep angle towards the North West (the beach runs North-South).
    2. The firing range has a huge sand dune behind it (the stop butt), that stops 99.999999% of the bullets.
    3. Any bullet that may be accidentally fired high, that misses the stop butt, ends up in the sea, way out from South City beach.
    4. When the firing range is in use, there are red flags flying from all the army observation towers along Swanbourne Beach. In addition, Army blokes are posted in the towers. These blokes are equipped with radios and binoculars. There are also warning banners posted on the beach, to advise people walking along the beach, that entry to the Northern part of the beach is banned/verboten whilst the firing range is in use.
    5. Any inadvertent entry by any person, to the Northern part of Swanbourne Beach whilst the firing range is in use, results in immediate action by the Army blokes, who advise those in charge of the firing to cease firing until the person is removed from the danger area. Army blokes on 4WD quad bikes will appear very quickly to confront the errant trespasser/s and remove them from the danger area.
    6. The chances of being hit by a stray bullet whilst relaxing on the nude beach, are about 1/10,000th of the chance of being hit by a meteorite on the beach.
    7. Whilst the firing range is in use, you are allowed to use the restricted nude beach area, bounded by the signs and rubbish bins on the South of the beach, to the first tower, where the red flag is flying, on the North. This area is about half a kilometre long.
    8. When the use of the firing range has ceased, the flags are removed, and you are allowed to roam all of the several kilometres of Swanbourne beach.

    This beach is one of Perths hidden treasures for the nudity lovers, but unfortunately it’s not well advertised or supported by local authorities. It is allowed to exist somewhat grudgingly by the authorities, who would like to shut it down. However, it has been an “unofficial” nude beach since before WW2, and not much will happen to the status quo, whilst the Defence Dept own that huge chunk of land adjoining the beach.
    Where else in a city of 1.6M people, can you roam for 3 or 4 kms in the nude, and maybe only see a handful of people! This is also one of the safest beaches around, women are safer here than anywhere else. There are a few pervs, as anywhere, but they are mostly exhibitionists and sex-show seekers. They generally go away disappointed. The real sex criminals roam the streets with clothes on. No-one wants to bring any adverse attention to Swanbourne nude fun, so everyone behaves themselves.

  11. The Wizard of WOZ Says:

    After re-reading the other comments, it appears that the closest anyone came to making the claim “that you can get shot easily on Swanbourne Beach”, was me saying “I always though it was nice of the chicken stranglers to keep the pesky boaties away from the nudists by shooting at them.”

    A detailed and interesting post regardless.

    Welcome to Tizonas.

  12. TWC Says:

    On swanbourne beach.. Awesome🙂

  13. Colombia Says:

    This is too awesome, I want to go there. I love Australians!


Well, SAY something...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: