Dont ask how I found this….

Ever wondered what it would be like to have sex for a living?

Imagine being paid to do nothing but rut your brains out, and be paid for it. The champagne, fast cars and mansions you would be able to get with your loot?

Fuckwittery Displayed

Here’s the lowdown.

A Palestinian man illegally comes to Australia. He is denied status and is deported back to his little hellhole, despite believing that he’ll be killed.

Upon his return, he’s killed by Fatah, the collection of fuckwits and lowlifes that for some reason or other we still haven’t bombed back to before the Stone Age.

So who are our assorted fuckwits blaming?

Yep. The Australian Government. ‘Cause we didn’t take the guy in.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Click here for the full fuckwittery.

And for the hell of it, here’s the Age’s coverage.

Of course, News Ltd is right down to the same standard.

Not to be outdone, the ABC plummets down to it’s usual standard.

Obama Strategist: McCain Camp Manufactured Race Debate

Barack Obama’s top strategist said Friday that John McCain’s campaign manufactured a racial debate when it accused Obama of “playing the race card” the day before.

Strategist David Axelrod defended the Illinois senator, saying he was just being “self-mocking” when he told a Missouri crowd that Republicans would try to scare voters by saying he doesn’t look like “all those other presidents on the dollar bills.”

“Nobody reported it as a racial comment. … The only time this became an issue was when (McCain campaign manager) Rick Davis and their campaign decided to kick it up and make it a racial issue,” Axelrod said on NBC’s “Today.”

Fox News

“self mocking”….Hmmmm. There’s so much to “self” mock, why pick that one?

You asshat Axlerod. He and the lovely Michelle…and their entire chorus (the name Wright, ring a bell?) have been playing the “racial issue”, from the start. In fact, the O’s no doubt used that “racial issue” in his senate seat race.

Phantom Diner Appears Only To Those In Their Drunkest Hour

Bits:

“I had all but given up hope that I would get to eat pancakes and sausage that night,” said Kline, who was separated from his group of friends early Sunday morning after leaving the Steel Toe Bar’s nickel-beer night to urinate in an alleyway. “Then all of a sudden, there it was in front of me, bathed in this unnatural neon light. I don’t remember much after that, but when I woke up the next day in the back of [Rick] Loomis’ pickup truck, there was syrup in my hair.”

All agree, however, that the restaurant uncannily appears after no fewer than nine incantations of “Dude, I am so fucking wasted.”

“I’m pretty sure I left my cell phone there when I was throwing up in the bathroom, and when I went there the next day, it was gone,” said 26-year-old temp worker Rebecca Porter. “How do you explain that?”

The Onion

A Fantastic Life Story: Dan Green is Dead

If you are not familiar with The Wittenburg Door, it is the anti-idiotarian site of the Christian world. You can even cuss in the comments there without being censored. They relentlessly mock and debunk Televangelists and others I call Christo-tards, so it is one of my favorite sites, obviously.

Bob Gersztyn has written a fabulously funny, and outrageous remembrance of his friend Dan Green there. Seriously, it is simply unbelievably good.

“Dan Green was one bad ass mofo, and now he’s dead. He told the doctors at the VA hospital to go f— themselves. They wanted to poke him with scalpels and IV’s. So he refused to cooperate, and he died. He was 74, weighed about 160, and stood five foot six, with a short-cropped buzz cut on a clean-shaven bullet-shaped head.

He was a welterweight on the Navy boxing team, until he realized that his arms were too short, which is why he was receiving more than he was dishing out. When he quit boxing the Korean war was still going on. He worked on the deck of aircraft carriers, wearing an asbestos suit. That’s how he got emphysema and lung cancer, but he didn’t bitch, because the VA took care of him.”

That’s just the intro:

“He got married right after the Korean war, and he got a job at the Oregon State Correctional Facility and became Sergeant of the Guard, until he stepped down to work as a common guard at the state prison. Driver Number 7001 told me the story of why Dan voluntarily took the demotion one night shortly after his demise.

“He had a ten-year-old daughter that was raped, by a family friend,” Number 7001 said. “The police botched the investigation and all the evidence had to be thrown out. The girl’s violator was never even charged. Dan waited about a year and then one day he and two of his prison guard friends tracked down the rapist, and took him out to a deserted area in West Salem, and hung him. Everyone knew who did it, but nobody talked and they couldn’t do anything. As a slap on his hand, he privately agreed to step down, as Sergeant of the Guard, and finished his time as an ordinary guard.””

You’ll want to read it all, because it gets better.

Not That I’m Laughing

Something about this is just surreal. Although he’s not the only person in Australia to have this type of family history…

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s ancestors include petty criminals – one a street urchin sentenced to death for stealing a dress and underwear from another child, family researchers say.