The Dog’s Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…
Butt Secks
The Tizona Group 
August 21, 2008, 5:04 am at 5:04 am
Very cut pussy cat.. Funny photograph. good post too!
Hey ash, have you read this one?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article4578133.ece
August 21, 2008, 5:06 am at 5:06 am
A dog lives with its owner. It is groomed, petted, fed and played with. The dog thinks, “Wow! My owner must be God!”
A cat lives with its owner. It is groomed, petted, fed and played with. The cat thinks, “Wow!
I must be God!”
August 21, 2008, 5:08 am at 5:08 am
meow………
I had to say that! “:’;’;
Ash’s Note: Congratulations on comment number 17000, 1.6.
August 21, 2008, 5:13 am at 5:13 am
Cats!!! Four Drumsticks!!!
Cheers
August 21, 2008, 5:29 am at 5:29 am
Dogs!!! Four bigger drumsticks!!!
August 21, 2008, 5:50 am at 5:50 am
O/T
Anyone else notice the little smiley face next to the entries RSS/comments RSS?
August 21, 2008, 6:05 am at 6:05 am
Yes I have Bingbing. There’s a couple of little smiley faces hidden around. See if you can spot them 😉
August 21, 2008, 6:45 pm at 6:45 pm
In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
August 22, 2008, 1:58 am at 1:58 am
Welcome to my world ;p
August 22, 2008, 4:18 am at 4:18 am
Grass. My favorite thing!