When they pry it from my cold, dead hands….

Oh dear the health nazis are at it again, not happy with criminalising smokers and raising the price of pre mixed drinks 70%, they are onto a new atrocity.


Killer sandwich: ham linked to cancer

They might seem a harmless lunchtime filler but ham, salami and devon are on the World Cancer Research Fund’s hit list.

Death by sandwich..

Death by sandwich..

Ok here’s the word for you concerned scum. Piss off and leave me alone, I don’t respect you and strongly believe you are out of control busybodies who are flat out providing cover for the government to raise taxes on “sins”. I am currently grumpy enough, deprive me on my morning bacon and it may just be enough to tip me over the edge…

Oh and just how huge is this organisation that have generated worldwide headlines with a non-story?

11-50 people

The charity’s Lisa Cooney says it is recommending parents do not give their children more than 70 grams of processed meat a week.

That is the equivalent of two ham sandwiches, or three thin rashers of bacon.

“There’s convincing scientific evidence linking the consumption of processed meats like ham, salami and bacon to an increase in bowel cancer risk,” Ms Cooney said.

“And we also know that the habits we develop during childhood can follow us through to adulthood. So parents have a really wonderful opportunity to help promote really healthy habits in their children.”


First cab off the rank “Think of the chiiiillldren!!!”, piss off and choke on a dick you harridan, you either have a SOLID mass of evidence or you have speculation and rubbery figures.




The average employee of one of these "charities".

The average employee of one of these "charities".



 More under the fold

Meating the addiction

 Nutritionist Dr Rosemary Stanton says processed meats can become addictive.

“If you are going to start looking at what you put on sandwiches, most people put about 35 grams or so on a sandwich,” she said.

“So two ham sandwiches a week, if you didn’t have any other processed meat, wouldn’t be such a big problem.

“But if your kids or anyone else gets addicted to ham sandwiches every day they’re going to go way over that by the end of the week.”

Next cab off the rank, denormalise the subject. Start calling a preference an “addiction”, then your only a step away from justifying medical “help” for the “addicted”. Im sure that Gobbels would be proud ..




Nearly the same as eating a ham sandwich...

Nearly the same as eating a ham sandwich...




Dr Stanton says there does appear to be a link between bowel cancer and increased consumption of processed meat.

“The link is actually convincing and it comes from lots of studies on lots of people,” she said.

“The link is also there for fresh meat.

“These are big important studies. This is not somebody looking at 200 people, these are millions of people when you add up all of the studies and they’re all showing the same thing.”


And why should I trust your findings? Again figures aren’t science, come back when you HAVE found the causative factor and speak then.

And what a surprise, whilst not a vegetarian Mrs Stanton believes in cutting meat consumption to save the world from glowbull worming as well. Funny how so many “good” causes all dovetail into one another eh?

Indeed, mindful of the effect of meat production on greenhouse
gas emissions, we are trying to teach the population to make meat a
small part of the meal rather than the star performer.


Until then piss off and leave me in peace, if you continue to harass me I shall be forced to track you down and administer a chocolate covered bacon suppository upon you.

Exrat salty, and extra crispy...

Extra salty, and extra crispy...

16 Responses to “When they pry it from my cold, dead hands….”

  1. Carpe Jugulum Says:

    To Lisa Cooney & Rosemary Stanton is there a part of fuck off you mendatious harridans that isn’t clear, red meat is going to kill me, processed food will do me in, aluminium cookware will give me altzheimers, yadda yadda yadda…..

    This weekend as a tribute to you and the other food harpies i give you my food protest;

    Sat AM – 2kg bacon, cooked on the barbie with battery hen eggs

    Lunch – leg of honey smoked ham with 3 tallies of VB

    Dinner – any processed meat left in the fridge

    Sun AM – See Sat AM

    Lunch – Pig on a spit cooked with planet destroying charcoal.

    Dinner – (if i’m still alive) leftovers with the cheapest white bread full of chemicals i can find and real butter.

    Where can i buy a salt lick??????????

    During all this i will be consuming copious amounts of VB & Crownies and will endeavor to knock over a bottle of Baille Nicol Jarvies finest blended whiskey.

    Global warmening food police are not welcome at my house this weekend, bastages.

    • bingbing Says:

      Cavs, you wouldn’t mind doing a guest post, Sunday Brunch, would you?

      Just email it to one of us, or to tizonasweblog@gmail.com

    • Carpe Jugulum Says:

      I’ll do my best, but i may need to be sobered up/resusitated for work on Monday. 😉

    • bingbing Says:

      Good. Just get one of the missuses, er kids, to upload the pics and add a short blurb.

      Dude, do it. I just had my first meat pie in 8 months. First fish and chips in a fukn year. First quarter pounder since January. Same goes for a doner kebab. Sausage roll, mum’s spaghetti, driving a V6 instead of a shitty Hyundai.

      Just fukn do it… and bring on the Aussie bowlers… Yep. Get to watch that on an actual TV screen instead of a shitty Internet window.

    • bingbing Says:



    • nilk Says:

      So where’s my invite, Carpe? I share a house with a vegetarian and red meat is a rarity here.


      I am reduced to the occasional cook up where I buy a leg or lamb or some beef to roast up and then invite a bunch of mates over to help me eat it.

      It’s no fun cooking for one and a half.

    • Carpe Jugulum Says:

      Nilk, if only i’d known, i may do this again, i’ll let you know.

  2. davod Says:

    I recall in the 70s the scientists said that Comfrey, a green leafy plant, could cause cancer. Comfrey was used as a winter feed to feed lifestock. Comfrey was easilly grown.

    Well the scare Comfrey was banned from being used as a livestock feed. Now farmers had to pay for winter feed.

    Of course, after it was to late to do anything, it was discovered that the amount required to cause cancer was very, very, high.

  3. Angus Dei Says:

    I’m having smoked pork loin for dinner tonight.

    Hey, just trying to do my part and eat truth to the dour.

  4. Carpe Jugulum Says:

    Well, today (Sunday 23 Aug) has qualified as a success, i wasn’t able to acquire a whole pig but the fine dining at our weekender ‘Hacienda Jugulum’ was still good.

    I Salute you food harpies and from the bottom of my heart i say fuck you, fuck you very much.

    Our dining experience, (for 4 people) today;

    Ham & cheese omlettes
    Bacon sandwiches (yes it was chemical laden white bread)

    Left over bacon – while the pork cooked. There was a salad but i shunned such food as unhealthy.

    3kg keg of pork – done on the BBQ rotissierie (stuffed with garlic cloves) Spuds brushed with olive oil & dusted with paprika.

    In about an hour we’ll be starting some BLT’s with ham to finish off the evening.

    Beverages consumed since Saturday PM (and counting) – 9 tallies of VB, 12 cans of Vic, 12 stubbies of Crown and yes we rolled the bottle of Baille Nichol Jarvies finest, the schnappes i won’t count or the bottle of red for the ladies.

    I’m pissed, dizzy, my stomach hurts and, i will be a grumpy bag of shit at work tomorrow, but any form of protest requires committment.

    “You may take make my beer, but you will never take my bacon” apologies to William Wallace.

  5. Kaboom Says:

    Bing! You’re back in BrisVegas! I belatedly noticed your comment on another thread, but I can see you picked the eyes out of BrisVegas attractions in any case.

    It’s a great place to have a bevvy or three, but more importantly, a great staging point for outside places, as I’m sure you are aware. Enjoy!

    • bingbing Says:

      Cheers, Kabs. It was short, but sweet. Probably chucked on a couple of kilos, too.

      Even drove down to Byron for the day. And the whole fam went up to Gympie for the day to ride the steam train (mainly for Dminor’s little ‘un) and my Korean honey bunny.

      So let’s see. Plane from Korea to Tokyo. Then Tokyo, er, back to Tokyo coz the plane had some kind of problem. Then Tokyo to Vegas the next day, drove a V6 almost every day of the seven day jaunt, drove to Byron, drove to Gympie, steam train ride, drove to Southbank, drove up Mt Coot-tha, then a plane back to Tokyo then back to K-Land. Plus buses and taxis from my apartment to the airport and back.

      How much carbon is that in seven days? And all really just for a kebab, a quarter pounder, a chance to see my nephew, and to pick up a block of tasty cheddar cheese. Still nowhere near Al Gore’s carbon footprint but not a bad effort, regardless, methinks.

  6. bingbing Says:

    At least all you guys HAVE critters like that. Over here it’s mostly feral cats in heat ripping open plastic garbage bags left out on the spit-laden streets.

    The price I pay for a cushy job*… and one I’m actually good at.

    *Well, mostly cushy. A kid puked in class today and it’s not the first time that has happened.

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