Ted is Dead (UPDATED)

The story.


They say not to speak ill of the dead, so I’ll just have to enjoy this next beer in silence.


UPDATE for BingBing and others who may not know the background, I give you this marvelous retrospective by Carl Cannon.

“It was just a car accident, really, albeit one involving alcohol, excessive speed, and the late-night machinations of a married man partying with an unmarried woman…

There’s no way to know for sure, but the accident at Dike Bridge on Chappaquiddick Island on July 18, 1969 probably cost Edward M. Kennedy the presidency. It certainly cost Mary Jo Kopechne her life…

Here is what is known:

On July 18, 1969, Kennedy and five other men – all but one of whom was married – met six single young women who had worked on Robert Kennedy’s 1968 campaign. The women were known as the “Boiler Room Girls” for their tireless work in a windowless office in that ill-fated campaign. All of them, especially Teddy, had grieved hard when Bobby had been killed 15 months earlier…

Sometime late at night after an evening of drinking, Kennedy and Kopechne went for a drive in his 1967 Oldsmobile…

In any event, Kennedy wasn’t headed toward the ferry landing when his car careened off Dike Bridge and into the inlet known as Poucha Pond; they were heading toward the beach (to fuck – Beef)

Kennedy got out of the car alive, Mary Jo Kopechne did not. He said he dived down several times to try and rescue her, before walking back to the cottage where his friends were staying. To do so, he passed at least four houses with working telephones, including one 150 yards from the accident with a porch light on – as well as a firehouse with a pay phone. When he got to the cottage, none of the women were told what happened. According to the 763-page coroner’s inquest, this was just the first of a series of appalling decisions Kennedy made that night, decisions that stretch credulity…

Upon reaching Edgartown, Kennedy went to his room at a local inn – it was now 2:25 a.m., — where he spent the night, and the following morning engaged in small talk about sailing with a local yachter and agreed to have breakfast with the man when Gargan and Markham showed up about 7:30. They asked him who he’d called about the accident only to receive the astounding reply: no one. Kennedy explained it this way at the inquest: “I just couldn’t gain the strength within me, the moral strength, to call Mrs. Kopechne at 2 in the morning and tell her that her daughter was dead.” But he hadn’t called the cops, either, and wouldn’t until 9 a.m.

Not reporting a fatal traffic accident is a felony in most places. On Martha’s Vineyard, if the driver is a Kennedy, it’s not even a matter of official curiosity: The local police chief never even asked Kennedy why he waited nine hours to report what had happened. The state of Massachusetts, citing Kennedy’s excessive speed on the bridge, suspended his license for six months. That was it.”

That was it. A six month driver’s license suspension for allowing a young woman to die needlessly, failing to report the accident in a timely manner, and everything else that was illegal and immoral in that litany of wrongs that night.

Ted Kennedy was a scum sucking maggot-out-of-hell shyster politician, and now he’s dead. I, for one, am glad he’s dead, and hope he suffers all of the torments of hell.

He never came clean.

UPDATE II [bing]

Senator Edward M. Kennedy’s top ten achievements.

27 Responses to “Ted is Dead (UPDATED)”

  1. Alan Kellogg Says:

    You ever get the feeling Ted was adopted, mail order?

  2. bingbing Says:

    Overall, did he cause more good or more harm?

    Just asking.

  3. bingbing Says:

    Actually, he didn’t rate a mention in tonight’s discussions with the boys. A mate’s birthday and we stayed out until 3:30.

    Surely CNN isn’t just blathering on about it because of his name?

  4. Capre Jugulum Says:

    My take on Ted;

    Drunkard, Adulterer & a man who left a young girl to drown to preserve his own oily hide.

    To quote Jim Treacher, “If they get to bring up Camelot, we get to bring up the lady in the lake.”

  5. missred Says:

    he will not be missed in my own mind. well maybe he will still be in my face but after the brouhaha dies down, he won’t even be remembered by me
    i will avoid all news sites for a week or so

  6. nilk Says:

    Why I love Roissy:

    You, Senator Kennedy, are the slime and detritus of fish shit and flotsam that collects on the stones sitting at the bottom of the Chappaquiddick brine.

    I don’t think I need to say any more.

    • Carpe Jugulum Says:

      “You, Big Fat Fuck Ted, are a genuine American Traitor, brazenly disloyal to the American people while blindingly loyal to your twisted, fetid equalist ideology, and who should be thankful a blessed cancer ate your brain to mush instead of a hangman’s noose breaking your neck in the public square.”

      Now this girl does not mince words, absolute gold.

    • nilk Says:

      Roissy’s a bloke, Carpe. 🙂 His blog is one of my favourites, although it’s not female friendly.

      Mind you, one of the reasons I like it so much is because it’s not female friendly. It’s blunt and too the point, often painfully so.

      And he doesn’t exactly mince his words. You want to check the commentariat’s response.

    • Carpe Jugulum Says:

      “Roissy’s a bloke”

      Oh….sorry nilk…….bugger……..Roissy’s a blokes name???

      I like the second comment from Johnny five for its humour.

      The article on Ted.K site reminds me of that Rown Atkinson skit where he played the devil (cant find an embed on youtube, bugger)

  7. bingbing Says:

    Guess I’m a bit to young to give a shit, or know a damn about the old cunt.

    Seems like it’s RIP for Ted. Rot In Pain.

  8. Dean McFarland Says:

    I won’t go as low as the Liberals do. They dance and laugh and have a good old time when a conservative dies. I refuse to do so, but I must admit I had an adult beverage ot two to celebrate the event.

    • bingbing Says:

      Hope you didn’t put on CNN last hour. Larry devoted his whole show to him.


    • Carpe Jugulum Says:

      Dean McFarland, i salute you for your stance, you are a better man than I. To my, almost, shame i shall be doing the happy dance (mexican hat dance grenade tossing style).

      The ‘progressives’ would have had effigies burning if this were a conservative or libertarian, with associated chants, banners and papier mache head puppets and probaly some reeeeeely bad street theatre.

  9. Carpe Jugulum Says:

    Thanks for the update, i do hope there is a special place in hell for Ted.

    I’ll correct my previous post Mary-Jo didnt drown, she asphyxiated when the air in the air pocket she was breathing ran out, this apparently took several hours.

    • Kaboom Says:

      To be precise, Carpe, she was killed by Carbon Dioxide, that poisonous death gas.

      I have recently posted about Mary Jo’s Carbon Footprint here.

      Her martyrdom did Gaia a favour.

    • Carpe Jugulum Says:

      Oh keerist……..i saw the last photo on that link

      Oh god ……eye bleach….i need eye bleach………….i’ll make you pay for this Kaboom………..bastage

    • Kaboom Says:

      OK, Carpe, here’s a challenge:

      I will eat my liver if you can produce a more disgusting real photograph of the Walrus.

    • nilk Says:

      Oh. My. Goodness. I just had to follow the link, didn’t I?

      Kaboom, there is something profoundly wrong with your mind, but damn that made me laugh.

      That means there’s something wrong with my mind, too.

    • Carpe Jugulum Says:

      Jesus Kabs……….match that…………..eat your liver????………….i got nothing, to compare with that bloaterous great yak, i concede my defeat. Still……i’ll need eye bleach.

  10. bingbing Says:

    Thanks for the update, Beefster.

    • Angus Dei Says:

      LOL! That update was a steaming pile of awesome awesomeness, bing. Great laughs, despite the debauchery.

  11. Alan Kellogg Says:

    Ted was drunk. Drunks do very stupid things. A drunk can act like they’re aware of what’s going on around them, and completely forget what they did when they sober up. Ted said he didn’t remember what happened that night? He mostly likely didn’t. He didn’t go to a closer house or phone to call in the accident? He was simply too drunk to think of it. The man should never have been driving in his condition in the first place.

    Ted Kennedy is why I support installing a basic dexterity test in cars; if you’re too drunk to pass the test, the car don’t start.

    • nilk Says:

      Speaking as a former drunk, that’s a cop out, Alan. If he wasn’t aware of what he was doing, why didn’t his friends insist on dragging him down to the police station or getting help straight away?

      By all accounts, he appears to have been a functioning alcoholic, so that also rules out the too drunk to know what he was doing.

      In any case, other drunks are held accountable for misconduct under the influence – DUI, anyone? – so why is it okay for Ted to be let off with a slap on the wrist?

    • Carpe Jugulum Says:

      Sorry Alan, i’m not going to buy that line.

      He was sober enough to make his way out of a submerged vehicle at night following an accident, (no easy feat).

      He was sober enough to make his way to shore and orient himself to time & place, (in the dark).

      He was sober enough to return to where he was staying and attempt to concoct a story.

      I don’t buy it……………..

    • Kaboom Says:

      Alan, as a professional drunk, I completely disagree with your contention that drunks “forget” what they did.

      We might gloss over the minutae of social interactions, but, Golly Gosh, we remember the Big Offs as if they were yesterday. Or the day before.

      Any professional drunk who has told you that he or she “forgot” what they told you, is just lying.

      We know precisely what we said, and when. And, what’s more, we meant it. Every word.

      And as for your “basic dexterity test” for starting a car, try the utterly stupid F6 Typhoon test: (1) Find keyhole (2) insert key (3) twist key clockwise (4) find stupid big red button (5) press stupid big red button.

      Seriously, it’s enough to make you want to join the Pedestrian Council of Australia.

  12. statues Says:

    Some very interesting points have been made here, it is refreshing to see that your site gets quality visitors.

  13. Nestor Bratcher Says:

    That’s all fine and wonderful right until they come back. And when they do you are not going to be so cocky.

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