Just how stupid can an article get?


That respected organ of the left the Guardian newspaper has covered itself in  glory something with its latest “In praise of ” article.

For sheer mendacity and anti western smugness its hard to top this as scraping the bottom of the barrel.

 

I Present Comment Is Frees “In praise of… Aztecs”

Yes thats right the Aztecs, chest chopping, human sacrificing, slaving, cannibalistic Aztecs…

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More under the fold.

Aztec culture is not for the bleeding-heart liberal, not least because it involves so many bleeding hearts.

Which is about on par with Auschwitz isnt for smokers because there are so many chimneys as far a wit goes…

 

Step inside the British Museum’s new celebration of their last great leader, Moctezuma II, and you will be greeted by a great silver eagle used for storing the organ.

I assume we arent talking about one for playing music then chaps? As for great leader, he lost a war while blessed with overwhelming numbers and local knowledge, thats called being a dick, not a great leader…

 

The Aztecs are said to have chosen the spot for their capital by tossing a heart in the air, and to mark special occasions they would light a celebratory fire in the hollowed-out chest of a victim.

Just the thing for those long tropical winters night I suppose, dont suppose they could have used something other than a human chest though?

 

The gore extends to the head, with masks fashioned from real skulls, albeit skulls encrusted with alternate stripes of turquoise and lignite.

Oh well isnt that just dandy, ethnic handicrafts…

 

The craftsmanship, however, is less impressive than the complex dual calendar, which achieved great accuracy although it mixed ritualistic and solar elements.

They made ….a calendar, funny how CIF forgets to mention one of the major uses of the calendar was to fight ritual wars and sacrifice people though…

 

Then there is the hieroglyphic-style writing, not to mention the almost-psychedelic art that resembles the cover of Disraeli Gears, which it predates by around 500 years.

If there was a God, Im quite sure there would be some sort of punishment for trying to stretch a similarity as far as this one…. possibly a bowel pollop or something should mutate into something nastier when it is written. Not to mention in general when something happens AFTER something else, thats the copy…

 

By the time the conquistadors arrived in 1519-20 in what is now Mexico City, the conurbation already housed 200,000 people, around four times more than London back then.

However if we are to include the urban population (the word conurbation means exactly that) of England as a whole then it comes out to roughly 150,000 not so far behind the Aztecs. Quite how the population of London relates to the supposed “praise” of the Aztecs is quite beyond me.

 

The Aztecs remind us that there is nothing uniquely European about the forward march of technical progress.

They are right in the sense that technical progress isnt uniquely European, however pointing to the Aztecs as an example of that is about as silly as you can get. If it was “in praise of ancient China” theyd be on much firmer ground, however as Aztecs are “victims of the eeeeevil whities” of the week they have to grasp at straws. It might also be worth noting that the Ottomans werent exactly slouches in the use of gunpowder or military tech at this time either.

As for European claims of moral advancement, never forget that gunpowder settled the clash of civilisations.

If thats all it was then why arent we all speaking Chinese? They completely skip over thousands of years of political, social, religious and technical knowledge and just pick gunpowder. This image of the conquistadores as unstoppable death machines completely ignores the way wars were still being fought in Europe at the same time. Heres a useful site (Canadian!!) which sets it a bit straighter.

The Harquebus: The harquebus was a handgun which weight was around 5 to 7 kg for a dimension of 0.9 – 1 meter. To ignite the powder and shot, the main method was the matchlock system. This weapon had a maximum range of 100 meter but the effective range was closer to 15 – 25 m. A study made in Austria in 1988 had shown that after 30 m the weapon was useless. Another limitation of the weapon was the rate of fire, normally a good gunman would fire 3 bullets/min. Also due to poor metal casting the tube had the tendency to overheat after 4 shots. By the end of the XVI century an advanced and longer ( up to 1,3 meter) harquebus was introduced, called caliverwith a standardized bore size, in the dutch and spanish armies.

Again the inadvertant deaths of hundreds of thousands from diseases probably didnt help either….

Had things played out differently, Aztec museums might now allow us to marvel at scary savages who slaughtered their enemies by blasting fire out of the end of a tube.

Minor things like “had the Aztecs not been hated by most other tribes who constituted 95% of the conquistador force they would have killed then without blinking”… yeah little things like that…

 

So I ask just wat isnt the Guardian prepared to praise? Child molestation, beast buggery, necrophilia? The respectable organ of the mainstream British left on full display, how rancid it its…

Still it could be just the Guardian softening us up for this….

Climate modelling of new data from the Aztec Codex Cihuacoatl has identified a relationship with important implications for global warming mitigation. The research suggests a strong causal pathway exists between climate change and Aztec rituals of “nourishing the gods” with blood sacrifice.

4 Responses to “Just how stupid can an article get?”

  1. Lorenzo (from downunder) Says:

    At least many of the comments get the wrongness of it.

    • thefrollickingmole Says:

      Yup there is that, good to see not all its readers are sheep.

  2. bingbing Says:

    The Aztecs made many achievements. Had the article praised those instead of praising their barbarism, they might have made a decent point.

    After all, it’s not as if we praise the Romans for their slavery, burning of villages, killing Christians etc.

  3. Lorenzo (from downunder) Says:

    The Tlimes has a piece praising Cortez’s regime change. Their columnist knows a brutal and tyrannical theocracy when he sees one.


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