New Eco-Warrior Battle Cry: Eat the Dog!


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At first, I thought this just had to be a joke.

“The eco-pawprint of a pet dog is twice that of a 4.6-litre Land Cruiser driven 10,000 kilometres a year, researchers have found.

Victoria University professors Brenda and Robert Vale, architects who specialise in sustainable living, say pet owners should swap cats and dogs for creatures they can eat, such as chickens or rabbits, in their provocative new book Time to Eat the Dog: The real guide to sustainable living.

The couple have assessed the carbon emissions created bypopular pets, taking into account the ingredients of pet food and the land needed to create them.

“If you have a German shepherd or similar-sized dog, for example, its impact every year is exactly the same as driving a large car around,” Brenda Vale said.

“A lot of people worry about having SUVs but they don’t worry about having Alsatians and what we are saying is, well, maybe you should be because the environmental impact … is comparable.”

In a study published in New Scientist, they calculated a medium dog eats 164 kilograms of meat and 95kg of cereals every year. It takes 43.3 square metres of land to produce 1kg of chicken a year. This means it takes 0.84 hectares to feed Fido.

They compared this with the footprint of a Toyota Land Cruiser, driven 10,000km a year, which uses 55.1 gigajoules (the energy used to build and fuel it). One hectare of land can produce 135 gigajoules a year, which means the vehicle’s eco-footprint is 0.41ha – less than half of the dog’s.”

What. the. fuck. next?

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“They found cats have an eco-footprint of 0.15ha – slightly less than a Volkswagen Golf. Hamsters have a footprint of 0.014ha – keeping two of them is equivalent to owning a plasma TV.

Professor Vale says the title of the book is meant to shock, but the couple, who do not have a cat or dog, believe the reintroduction of non-carnivorous pets into urban areas would help slow down global warming.”

What are, “non-carnivorous pets” you ask?

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“”The title of the book is a little bit of a shock tactic, I think, but though we are not advocating eating anyone’s pet cat or dog there is certainly some truth in the fact that if we have edible pets like chickens for their eggs and meat, and rabbits and pigs, we will be compensating for the impact of other things on our environment.”

Professor Vale took her message to Wellington City Council last year, but councillors said banning traditional pets or letting people keep food animals in their homes were not acceptable options.”

I guess we’ll be hearing more ridiculous stories like how these fucking retards spent £2,000 to save their pet chicken.

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Just look at those pathetic brain-stems. We want to encourage this kind of crap?

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Fight gerbil warming!

Wonder what Spot thinks about this.

H/T Mark Steyn

9 Responses to “New Eco-Warrior Battle Cry: Eat the Dog!”

  1. bingbing Says:

    Re spot, was thinking exactly the same. Somewhat protective and/or peeved one would assume.

    Imagine (not) being the prick father who tells his little girl, sorry, you can’t have a puppy because it will kkill the poley bears.

    This would be funny, and it is, but it’s also quite insidious.

    Is that lamb or beef in your curry? Neither, it’s cat.

    And you know, somehow I don’t think it’s gonna cut it with my girl if I tell her, no, we’re not getting a kitten anymore coz kittehs make baby Gaia cry.

  2. bingbing Says:

    PS My copy of Not Evil Just Wrong arrived in the mail today. Yay!

  3. bingbing Says:

    PPS That’s one expensive Zinger burger.

  4. thefrollickingmole Says:

    I can see their point, imagine the footprint on this one

    They did a great little song called “mummy i dont like my meat”, I couldnt find it on youtube.

    Lyrics:
    sung by Bill, with help from Tim   (Mummy, mummy, mummy. Mummy, mummy, mummy) (Mummy,
    mummy, mummy. Mummy, mummy, mummy)   My baby daughter was crying, "I’m hungry, I’m
    hungry" she begged My wife was in tears, I’d not worked for two years Laid up with my rheumatic leg
      We’d a poodle, a cat and a budgie Three more hungry mouths I must feed Now I’m asking you, what
    else could I do? Oh whose was the greatest need   Mummy I don’t like my meat Hush child, don’t speak
    while you’re chewing Oh Lord, please forgive what I’m doing Mummy I don’t like my meat   (Mummy,
    mummy, mummy. Mummy, mummy, mummy) (Mummy, mummy, mummy. Mummy, mummy, mummy)
      Mummy, where’s Joey? I told her the budgie was chicken, last Sunday we shared out the wing I
    collected his feathers and stuck them together, she’s asking me why he don’t sing (Why don’t he sing,
    Mummy?)   Tomorrow we’ll curry the poodle, that should last us a couple of days We’ll try to disguise
    him, so she won’t recognise him But how will I feel when she says   Mummy I don’t like my meat Hush
    child, don’t talk while you’re eating But something inside her’s repeating Mummy I don’t like my meat  
    Oh Mummy, Mummy, Mummy   Mummy I don’t like my meat She’ll never know why I pray Yet
    something is making her say it Mummy I don’t like my meat   (To background singing of
    "Mummy, mummy, mummy. Mummy, mummy, mummy" etc) [spoken:]  "Mummy,
    there’s something stuck in my throat.  Mummy, it’s a collar!  Mummy, where’s Bonzo?"
      "Hush child, Bonzo is in the oven … IN HEAVEN!!"  "Mummy!
      Mummy, I haven’t seen Tiddles around.  And Mummy, where’s Colin the tortoise?  And
    Mummy, WHERE’S DADDY?!

  5. bingbing Says:

    Save the planet, eat your kids.

    Save the planet, eat your wife.

    Save the planet, eat your friends.

    Save the planet, eat yourself.

  6. Carpe Jugulum Says:

    mmmmmm….dog………..it’s puppylicious

  7. Red, White and Blue Says:

    I think these two weirdos had some adverse effect from their piercings. Also, doesn’t he look a bit like a rooster? Now the chicken makes sense.

  8. spot_the_dog Says:

    New Eco-Warrior Battle Cry: Eat the Dog!

    No.

    No, no, no, no, no.

    (Kittehs, maybe. But puppehs? No.)
    ;-P

  9. Angus Dei Says:

    I was thinking the chicken looks like the likely spawn of those two inbred morons.


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