The other half alerted me to this touching story of the triumph of love over the brutal constraints of society….I wish she hadn’t.
Like many men, Jordan Witham is obsessed with his car. But while most boy racers would draw the line at a wax and polish, his obsession has gone into overdrive.
The 20 year old is in love with his Volkswagen Beetle – and has been having sex with it for four years.
Jordan is one of just a handful of extreme car lovers in the world known as mechaphiles, and says his obsession was fuelled as a child.
“I could feel myself falling in love while I worked on Ingo,” he says. “I once became so aroused, I started rubbing her bodywork and masturbating. It didn’t feel strange, just really exciting.
“After a few minutes, I felt a desire to connect with her further, so I had penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.”
“I don’t always have sex with the car,” he explains. “Sometimes I stroke and kiss her bodywork, or rub myself up against her. If I’ve just been driving her, I have to wait for the exhaust pipe to cool down before I have sex. And I always use a condom because of all the dirt and dust inside.”
Now he has spent a further £200 on a “boy” car, a Trans Am he calls Todd, and is experimenting with a “gay” relationship.
I really, really wouldnt get this car alarm if Mr Witham is in the area…