Men are sometimes a touch odd

The other half alerted me to this touching story of the triumph of love over the brutal constraints of society….I wish she hadn’t. 

I have sex with my car! 

The man himself...


Like many men, Jordan Witham is obsessed with his car. But while most boy racers would draw the line at a wax and polish, his obsession has gone into overdrive.

The 20 year old is in love with his Volkswagen Beetle – and has been having sex with it for four years.



Jordan is one of just a handful of extreme car lovers in the world known as mechaphiles, and says his obsession was fuelled as a child. 


“I could feel myself falling in love while I worked on Ingo,” he says. “I once became so aroused, I started rubbing her bodywork and masturbating. It didn’t feel strange, just really exciting.

“After a few minutes, I felt a desire to connect with her further, so I had penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.”
“I don’t always have sex with the car,” he explains. “Sometimes I stroke and kiss her bodywork, or rub myself up against her. If I’ve just been driving her, I have to wait for the exhaust pipe to cool down before I have sex. And I always use a condom because of all the dirt and dust inside.”


Pope Benedict disapproves or your tomfoolery!!


Now he has spent a further £200 on a “boy” car, a Trans Am he calls Todd, and is experimenting with a “gay” relationship.

Wrongness+wrongness is still wrong.


I have no words


I really, really wouldnt get this car alarm if  Mr Witham is in the area… 

3 Responses to “Men are sometimes a touch odd”

  1. The Wizard of WOZ Says:

    Now I’m a rev head and I like my cars a lot.

    But seriously, was this bloke dropped on his head at birth?

    And why didnt his old man hit him across the head and tell him to get real?

    We are all different, some of us like tall girls, some short girls, some like other guys. However they are all of the same species as us. They are sentient beings not inanimate objects.

    I’d be sending this one to get his head read. Stat!

  2. 1.6 Says:

    So, does he get all revvvved up with the exhaust pipe?

  3. bingbing Says:

    Elanor I could understand. But a Beetle???

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