Anomalous Anal Ghost Phenomena


I didnt just make that up, there is a website seriously discussing this stuff.  

Some other eye catching highlights… 

Honey, I Got A Ghost In My Butt! 

“Many strange stories in the far east have circulated about ghosts living in a haunted persons anus or rectum. Some just think it that have been attacked by a ghost or evil spirit, still others know that a real ghost has crawled up their butts. These pesky ghosts are said to cause mad uncontrollable bouts of farting and serious constipation or diarrhea. I can certainly attest to this as it has happened to my husband on more then one occasion. And Felching out ghosts is usually a bigger fear and reality then one might think. 

Many male ghost Hunters are prone to such anal ghost intrusions and possessions. In the past 8 years it has been related to me by a person that specializes in such removals that a particular ghost Hunter of well known fame has seen her more then once. He states he keeps getting re infected because it is like a open portal to them.” 

Why does Tom Cruise spring to mind?? 

Toms anus is possessed and levitating?

My colon is clean I have a ghost! 

“In some cultures spicy hot Enemas are said to chase a ghosts from a persons bowels in many cultures wine or beer enemas are used to get the ghost drunk so he will just fall out of the person and it then can be captured and put into a bottle or container for safe keeping. My husband keeps his in a pickle jar in the garage and has gotten several intriguing EVP’s from it.” 

With the stuff you need to drink to catch them...

Anomalous Anal Ghost Phenomena 

“My husband Riley has had an anal ghost infection on several occasions in the past few years. The phenomena can be very disturbing and unnerving. And the word frightening does not equate to the level of panic it caused me. 

At night laying inn bed after a ghost hunt with his group he would begin to let out gas. The stench was horrible. It smelt like something dead and raw sewerage. It even formed word with the sounds of his flatulence. And it went as far as cursing out individuals in restuarants, Church and a funeral of a close relative. The intense passing gas attacks my husband had actually produced audible words that clearly sounded like a man speaking with a gruff or raspy voice. It would say ” You Are F——g Doomed!” in a farty sounding voice like sound. Or, “Mutha F__K, He Is mine until the day he dies!” at first I thought it was Riley just playing games with me, throwing his voice like a ventriloquist, until the black diarrhea started while he was still asleep in his favorite chair. 

If the voice from his anus was not enough when it grabbed the sheets and starting pulling it inside him! I was petrified and chilled to the bone, ready to run for the hills. 

Once it even blew out the candles on my mothers birthday cake from across the room.” 

A ghost...in his ass....

A prayer to St. Michael To remove a Anal Ghost: 

Oh great Angel St. Michael hear my prayer. 

Please in your divine justice and wisdom remove this ghost that infest my bowels and anus.  

Remove this foul ghost from me as you did the Devil from Heaven.  

In your wisdom bless me and free me from this evil affliction now and forever.  

Amen 

   

Im sure theres something in that for all of us…. 

Sex After an Exorcism (some useful advice, heres the best one) 

Try different positions if you feel discomfort.  And keep an eye in a mirror to see if you can see the ghost trying to return. 

   

Certain major American cities are more apt to have anal and womb ghost waiting to attack the unsuspecting. Chicago, New York, Miami and Portland, Oregon, and all of North Carolina and Georgia are the real hotspots. Wilmington, North Carolina is a historic city and has been known for anal and womb ghost dating back to before it attained statehood. Though Texas has it’s fair share of outbreaks at different times of the year. 

Im sure our American chums will get this all covered under their new all encompassing health regime….

Posted in WTF. 5 Comments »

5 Responses to “Anomalous Anal Ghost Phenomena”

  1. Carpe Jugulum Says:

    The horror of the anal ghost plague has reduced me to tears………………..of laughter.

  2. J.M. Heinrichs Says:

    We need an anal ghost analyst.

    Cheers

  3. Shelley Says:

    FOFLMHO!🙂

  4. Shelley Says:

    ooops ROFLMHO. lol

  5. J.M. Heinrichs Says:

    Just for Bing:
    http://www.japantrends.com/back-to-the-future-the-bamboo-washi-electric-car/

    Cheers


Well, SAY something...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: