the Future of Venezuela without Hugo Chavez?

Hugo Chavez Baseball Champion Billboard - Gracias Presidente Venezuela Campeón! Thanks President Venezuela champion!

That giant baseball is flying straight towards Hugo’s head.

“Gracias Presidente Venezuela Campeón!” translates to “Thanks President Venezuela Champion!” on a billboard put up by political brown nosers in the City of Caracas in 2006 (trusting my memory, I think it was the City of Caracas but I can’t tell if the logo on the lower left actually says it was Caracas).

It references the fact that Venezuela won baseball’s Caribbean Series (Serie del Caribe) in 2006. I can only assume that the city government of Caracas put up billboards in the years that a Venezuelan team didn’t win blaming Chavez for not wearing his baseball uniform.

But now, with Hugo Chavez dead, how will any Venezuelan baseball team ever win again? Don’t worry, they have a plan :

Hugo Chavez’s body will be preserved and forever displayed inside a glass tomb at a military museum not far from the presidential palace from which he ruled for 14 years, his successor announced Thursday in a Caribbean version of the treatment given Communist revolutionary leaders like Lenin, Mao and Ho Chi Minh.

Obviously, in order to win future baseball games they’ll dress mummified Hugo up in a baseball uniform for all to see and thank. When the Olympics roll around they’ll put him in a brightly colored unitard for weight lifting, speedos for swimming events, put him in riding boots & duct tape him atop a pony for equestrian sports, and dress him in sequined tights for ice skating.

I, for one, am thankful that other world leaders don’t get into a sport uniform to associate themselves with other people’s success. Imagine Angela Merkel or Gerhard Schröder squeezing into a short tennis skirt and putting photos of themselves on billboards because a German won a women’s tennis championship.

It is amazing (but not surprising) that a government had thought that it had nothing better to spend money on than a suck-up billboard when sending him (if a toady felt compelled to be sycophantic) a thank you card would have been less expensive and Chavez would have been more likely to see it.

I think this image was found years ago at Devil’s Excrement.

In previous pre-taxidermied Hugo Chavez news : Hugo Chavez thinks he is Obi Wan Kenobi.

8 Responses to “the Future of Venezuela without Hugo Chavez?”

  1. Col. Milquetoast Says:

    Remember, Hugo Chavez was all about helping the poor. What could help the poor more than billboards with Hugo’s face on it?

    • Onepoint618 Says:

      tim blair

      Here’s what Mr Blair said to me. BTY, my News ltd boss did poo on bully me. You don’t believe me? I believe a little birdie spoke about it in Sydney. You see, it’s not ok for Kyle Sandilands but it’s ok for news ltd managers to poo on female staff’s floor (having assisted this man back bc he was intoxicated and had an early shift) after that he bullied me and gave me a very difficult time.

    • Onepoint618 Says:

      bty, they say there’s freedom of the press but there was no freedom within the press. I was always told when to eat, what to do, when I could go on holidays, what time I had to start, If I said ‘no’ threatend, poo on by manager, asbestos fell onto my desk, laughed at. This is how they treat female workers (editorial) within News ltd.

      Sue me, it’s true.

  2. Gregoryno6 Says:

    We could do Hugo’s memory no greater honour than to donate all his foreign fans and adorers to Venezuela. Sean Penn, Oliver Stone, John Pilger, Philip Adams – these people were ardent followers of Hugo The Red and they could keep the nation on the course that he set for it.
    Dealing with their colossal egos might be a challenge to be sure. What about a contest? Last Man Standing?

  3. Onepoint618 Says:

    Gérard Xavier Marcel Depardieu? or

  4. Col. Milquetoast Says:

    I want to go on record now and predict an animatronic Hugo Chavez in a few years. We have the technology! I also predict that eventually they’ll charge an admission fee.

    • Carpe Jugulum Says:

      I think a animatronic Castro will leap in to fill the breach.

      That or they’ll just prop his embalmed body in the corner and replay his speeches.

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