Bizzle likes him some Dunkers

Is your name your destiny?

My missus sent me this one, I didn’t notice the problem at first, a fairly standard “pervy man” story…

See if you can spot the problem.

A Turners Beach man appeared in court and was fined for a public decency offence relating to an incident at Coles Beach earlier this year.

It is believed three men were summonsed to court, with Wayne King, 58, being the first to appear last week.

He initially entered a plea of not guilty to prohibited behaviour but pleaded guilty in the Devonport Magistrates Court on Thursday to a public decency offence.

He was fined $147.60.

I had to have it pointed out to me, the bloke has been done for flogging his log and flashing in public… his name Wayne King….

Id jail his parents for being that cruel…

NSFW cartoon under the fold…

A clown made me cry…

Obo is a lyrical guru..

Step 1:Take a nice song listen to it..

Step 2: Destroy the lyrics

Step 3: Make the moles eyes water with laughter…

 

Listen to this song first if you need a refresher, then look under the fold for the laughs…

 

View under the fold for the new “improved” version.

Good Advice.

Jim Treacher with a word of advice to young Canadian Sparky McFireballs:

Below the fold as possibly-NSFW

Naughty Jihadi!

According to this report, Usama bin Laden (or someone in his posse) was waging Jihad against the little infidel in his pants.

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A stash of pornography was found in the hideout of Osama bin Laden by the U.S. commandos who killed him, current and former U.S. officials said on Friday.

The pornography recovered in bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, consists of modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive, according to the officials, who discussed the discovery with Reuters on condition of anonymity.

The officials said they were not yet sure precisely where in the compound the pornography was discovered or who had been viewing it. Specifically, the officials said they did not know if bin Laden himself had acquired or viewed the materials.

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I’m not sayin’…I’m just sayin’.

“Seriously. Just look at them.”

Okay. Now I want a turtle.

.

h/t @GavAtkins at Asian Correspondent

Another day at work…

Im just finishing off another day back on the minesite when this incident report crossed my desk…

Door on bogger jammed, operator removed temporary perspex window to urinate.

 

 Theres a reason we tend to refer to the underground operators as 'rock apes".... Still at least it wasnt a number "2".
 

It goes backwards as well.

God Hates Figs

Oh yes he does.

And Kae is going straight to hell.

— h/t @JennQPublic

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Darwin, its like that.

Ive been to Darwin a few of times, its bit rough in patches.

But a cabbie knocking back a “free ride”, she must have been rough.

From the NT news… Possibly the best punning headling of the year,

Cabby says no to a fare with woman

 

The 26-year-old lady approached the taxi outside the Parap Tavern around 10.45pm on Boxing Day.

She got into the taxi and asked the male driver, “Do you want to have sex?”

Im pretty sure it wasnt worded quite that way..

The taxi driver who requested only his first name be printed refused the lady’s advances.

“I told her no I’m not interested,” Dean said.

“She then asked me for a cigarette. I said no I’m not giving you any cigarettes and please get out of my car.”

So its a smoke for a poke, and 2 for a screw, whats a whole packet get you?

The lady began swearing, slammed the passenger door and started kicking the cab.

Dean said the lady then picked up a bottle and threw it at the taxi smashing the rear passenger window. Police arrested the lady a short time later.

“It would appear that she was a bit amorous at that time of the evening,” Duty Superintendent Daniel Shean said.

Gotta love the territory coppers..

  

“If you saw the girl you’d have to be pretty desperate. She was a very big fat ugly woman, she got in the car and stunk it out,” the taxi driver said.

This song  Definitely NSFW

Ugly AND stinky, sounds like Darwin allright.

And how does old Charlie feel about the city named after him??

Charles recants his theory of evolution based on this story alone.

A museum visit, and tragic book title.

Nowadays it would be sold "under the counter" with a title like that.

 

A month or so ago me and my other half were looking through a local museum in Northampton WA, I was chatting to my auntie and D was happily snapping away at the various exhibits.

We noticed the title on this book when we got home, which is why its a little hard to read.

The ” Warnes Pleasure book for girls“, regardless of what the title suggests, isnt actually as dirty as it sounds… and it doesnt in any way involve sexting by a certain ex-cricketer either…

We will try and get a few more piccies next time we go, they have a great machinery shed there….

Dont piss off your tattooist..

 

I know this is a bad thing, but am I evil if my first reaction was to laugh?

 Police at Ipswich west of Brisbane have charged a 21-year-old tattooist who is accused of putting an obscene picture on a customer’s back instead of the image requested.

  

So how bad could it have been?

The 25-year-old customer wanted a yin and yang symbol and a dragon…

 

Now what did he get instead?

.. but instead was given a 40 centimetre tattoo of a penis and a rude slogan implying he was gay.

Something like this perhaps?

 

..It is believed the pair had earlier been involved in an argument.

  

You think???

Police say the tattooist will appear in court next month charged with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one charge relating to the Public Safety Act.

  

So there you have it, dont piss off the man making the permanent markings on an area of your body you can’t see…

Do they have these in double strength?

Given that my missus has actually woken me up with a couple of hers Im very interested in this product.  I just have to check they make it in “week old dead horse fallen down a septic tank” strength.

(Im going to pay for posting this when I get home…)

This makes you wonder what some people eat…

Logies in Australia, Joan Rivers edition.

We have just suffered enjoyed another Australian logies show, its a bit like the Oscars, but with less talent and a little more of the ridiculous.

However it did remind me of this particular Logies from a few years back when they invited Joan Rivers as a host/compare.

She took the piss clean out of them, make sure you get to at least 2:40 in this clip, as she is given a complimentary Logie of her own.

Hitler reacts to Hitler’s Downfall’s downfall

You’ve probably heard of the Hitler’s Downfall parodies being removed from YouTube by now.

Well Adolf isn’t happy!

Watch it while you still can.

*cross-posted

Random image dump, cutest cat in the world?

Just a bunch of pics I havent found an excuse to post before, indulge me…

So cute you'll puke.

 

Cant they both lose?

 

Just wrong

 

Al Gore vs the Unabomber

Who said what? Take the quiz!

*cross-posted

Crazy dog man!

It’s good to see suburban Australia still has well-balanced chaps like this on in it.

Ht: Shadowlands

Roger writes a story.

Well at leasrt we can be pretty sure this reporters editor has a sense of humour.

Ht: Obnoxio

Check the reporters name, just made for the story....

National appeal for the dead.

Just an oldie but a goodie from “the kentucky fried movie”.. for some reason I couldnt find “Catholic high school girls in trouble”…

More Laser Awe: Laser Mosquito Zapper

Living in south central Texas as I do, my back yard needs one of these.

Beautiful.

Good News: US Justice Department Seeks Mentally Retarded Lawyers!

Personally, I think this is really for positions in The Department of Redundancy Department. Aren’t all lawyers retarded?

“The Civil Rights Division encourages qualified applicants with targeted disabilities to apply. Targeted disabilities are deafness, blindness, missing extremities, partial or complete paralysis, convulsive disorder, mental retardation, mental illness, severe distortion of limbs and/or spine…

The Department of Justice welcomes and encourages applications from persons with physical and mental disabilities.”

In any event, I think all of the profoundly retarded lawyers are in the US Senate.

Mining process explained for beginners

A clever little rock ape (slang for an underground miner) has come up with a valuable pictorial instruction manual for new starters.

Clever rock apes.

Check below the fold for the instruction manual, its worth your while.

I’m Buying Two!

So I can crash them into each other head on.

H/T Jonah

Photographic Evidence Demonstrating the Inefficiency of Wind Farms

This is teh awesome!

“Clouds stream in the wake of wind turbines arrayed at the Horns Rev offshore wind farm in this stunning photo. But David MacKay, a physicist at the University of Cambridge in the UK, sees the image as illustrating the common problem of back-row wind turbines losing power relative to the front row.
Downstream wind turbines may lose 20 percent or even 30 percent of their power compared to their fellows in front, according to a study on wake effects at Horns Rev that MacKay highlights on his blog.”