Men are sometimes a touch odd

The other half alerted me to this touching story of the triumph of love over the brutal constraints of society….I wish she hadn’t. 

I have sex with my car! 

The man himself...


Like many men, Jordan Witham is obsessed with his car. But while most boy racers would draw the line at a wax and polish, his obsession has gone into overdrive.

The 20 year old is in love with his Volkswagen Beetle – and has been having sex with it for four years.



Jordan is one of just a handful of extreme car lovers in the world known as mechaphiles, and says his obsession was fuelled as a child. 


“I could feel myself falling in love while I worked on Ingo,” he says. “I once became so aroused, I started rubbing her bodywork and masturbating. It didn’t feel strange, just really exciting.

“After a few minutes, I felt a desire to connect with her further, so I had penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.”
“I don’t always have sex with the car,” he explains. “Sometimes I stroke and kiss her bodywork, or rub myself up against her. If I’ve just been driving her, I have to wait for the exhaust pipe to cool down before I have sex. And I always use a condom because of all the dirt and dust inside.”


Pope Benedict disapproves or your tomfoolery!!


Now he has spent a further £200 on a “boy” car, a Trans Am he calls Todd, and is experimenting with a “gay” relationship.

Wrongness+wrongness is still wrong.


I have no words


I really, really wouldnt get this car alarm if  Mr Witham is in the area… 

Daily Howler: “Scientists” Discover All Men View Pr0n (Updated)

I swear, these must be newly-unemployed climate “scientists”:

“Researchers were conducting a study comparing the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to pornography with regular users.

But their project stumbled at the first hurdle when they failed to find a single man who had not been seen it.

“We started our research seeking men in their 20s who had never consumed pornography,” said Professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse. “We couldn’t find any.”

Although hampered in its original aim, the study did examined the habits of those young men who used pornography – which would appear to be all of them.”

This was reported with all ernest seriousness by the Telegraph, which made me laugh all the more.

Vika says, “Duh!”

Updated for Vince (Borderline NSFW).

Read the rest of this entry »

Fraulein, Im ready to help…

Apparently German men have been voted the worst lovers in the world.  They stink….
A poll of 15,000 women found that Germans are considered "too smelly".

A poll of 15,000 women found that Germans are considered "too smelly".


Followed by the Poms, who apparently are a bit slack…

English lovers came second because they are so lazy,

English lovers came second because they are so lazy,


As for the Swedes, Id actually blame their ranking on the hotness of their women.

while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third.

while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third.


1. Germany (too smelly)

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too dominating)

5. America (too rough)

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud)

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)

More under the fold, see who the winners were!


Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Men, Temp, Women. 3 Comments »

Best Science Write-up Ever: The Untold Story of Apollo 11


Popular Mechanics has outdone themselves with these dovetailed interviews of all involved in the Apollo 11 moon landing. I was riveted and stayed up way past my bed time.

Part 1: Launch Day.

Part 2: To the Moon.

Part 3: Landing Day.

Part 4: Lunar Exploration.

Part 5: The Trip Home.

Part 6: Re-entry and Splashdown.

And, of course, this post wouldn’t be complete without… wait for it… here it comes… extensive coverage of the event by The Onion.

Men are rather silly at times..

Exhibit 1 in the trial of “Men vs their gonads”….


Russian tourists try to break Florida law having sex with porcupine


Its from Pravda, so it must be true..

In what alternate bizzaro world is sticking your dick in a nest of spines a good idea?

Drunken Russian tourist bizzaro world of course!! Two Russian tourists paid a very high price for breaking the American law which bans sex with porcupines.


Staying in Florida on vacation, two Russians from Saint Petersburg decided to check whether they are able to circumvent such an unusual law or not.

Lucky they didnt see the law banning mastrbating with a cheese grater as well…

At first 32-year-old Anton and 30-year-old Eugenie had a good laugh at the senseless law written by local authorities. And then, after helping themselves with whisky, they decided to break this funny law.


“We came here to the USA to have fun!” said Anton and the two friends started their searches for the so called American “hedgehog”. It took them less than an hour to find the animal.


With victorious shouts the drunken friends dropped their pants and started making unambiguous movements with their hips. Having sobered up the following morning the friends realized that they need medical help. So the animal-lovers had to go from the airport straight to hospital, Life.Ru reports.

?Was Borat a documentary?

Now American laws do not seem so funny to Anton and Eugenie. After returning to Moscow they had to get acquainted with Russian urologists: porcupine needles caused very strong inflammation.

Geez, ya think?

Words fail me.

Words fail me.

Men Into Porn for at Least 35,000 Years

Some things never, ever change.

“If human culture seems obsessed with sex lately, it’s nothing new. Archaeologists have discovered the oldest known artistic representation of a woman — a carved ivory statue of a naked female, dating from 35,000 years ago.


“The statue is notable not just for its symbolism, but for its style — particularly its sexuality.

“The figure is explicitly — and blatantly — that of a woman, with an exaggeration of sexual characteristics (large, projecting breasts, a greatly enlarged and explicit vulva, and bloated belly and thighs) that by twenty-first-century standards could be seen as bordering on the pornographic,” Mellars wrote in a commentary essay in Nature.”

I’m not surprised in the least.

“Scientists guess that it may have represented female fertility, or been related to shamanistic rituals and beliefs.”

I guess you could call “Beating the Bishop” a shamanistic ritual.

At least there has been some evolutionary progress by men…


… we’ve gotten better at depicting our fantasies.

Spider of the Day

Brazilian Wandering Spider

Brazilian Wandering Spider

One of the most deadly spiders in the world was found in the produce section of an upscale Oklahoma grocery store.

[…]  Patients not only experience overall pain and an increase in blood pressure, they also get an uncomfortable erection.

In Brazil, emergency room staff can immediately spot the victims of a bite.


Happy Brazilian Wandering Spider

UPDATE: Hey, Look!  Wozza has more spiders – Australian spider funnies 😉

Weird hairy females seduce hot-blooded Caucasian men

(and its not about Paris Hilton or Amy Winehouse)

Come on, you didnt think Id go past a news story with an opening line like that.

From the ever relyable organ of truth Pravda!

A sensational incident took place in the Chegemsky Gorge of the Northern Caucasus. Researchers found evidence to prove the existence of Bigfoot in the area. Local residents say that Yeti females – people refer to these weird creatures as the Almasty – come into contact with humans and even attempted to have a sexual intercourse with local men.

Well thats one way to describe being caught in sexual congress with a hairy non human… Read the rest of this entry »

“Family” Room

I put family in quotes, because I’m the only family in it.

Definately a dude's place.

I like having a house.

McCain’s Perfect Choice for a Running Mate: Governor Sarah Palin

While most of the pedantic, two-dimensional, inside-the-box-thinking, conservative political hacks are touting Tom Ridge for the slot (Not a bad guy, but…), David Freddoso notes a far superior choice has been proposed: The Republican Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin.

I believe this is a truly inspired idea. Gov. Palin ran as an anti-corruption outsider, and handily defeated a corrupt and entrenched Republican political machine. Plus, at 44, she would almost totally wipe the “age issue” McCain has off the slate, and since Obama is only two years her senior, there is no way they could attack her for her youth and inexperience: She has much more executive experience than Senator Obama has.

Not to mention the fact that, she’s a gorgeous woman who exudes mass quantities of charisma…


and has a super-solid family life.


Dibs on the eldest daughter! LOL!

This inspired choice would allow McCain to actually capitalize on his “maverick” persona, as Gov. Palin shook Alaska politics to the core: She’s a charming, charismatic woman, but she can also play with the big boys and kick ass.

What say ye?

UPDATE: Things are looking optimistic!

UPDATE II: Welcome to all 4500 8000 40,000 in the past few hours (so far!) people visiting us from Google. We’re a fairly opinionated right-wing blog, and you might like to take a look at our “About” page. You might also be interested in our other coverage of Sarah Palin and whether she becomes a prospective Vice President of the United States. You can find this coverage here and here. Personally, I hope she does, but you can feel free to debate the idea in comments below. All first comments are moderated, but unless you either insult or use severe profanity (and I mean severe by my standards, which generally only means the C U Next Tuesday word or the implication that someone has had a rather enjoyable erotic experience with someone who has borne a child), however if you come up with a new one, I may simply delete your comment. I, and all other contributors to this blog are more than fair in what we permit.

UPDATE III: Nayr Drahcir, don’t bother even trying. You will not be published.

UPDATE IV: A lot of people must like Palin.

UPDATE V: More coverage of Governor Sarah Palin and a theme song here.

UPDATE VI: Funniest observation on the announcement yet: “Put Obama and Palin on a basketball court one on one. Winner takes all!”

UPDATE VII: [spot_the_dog] No, we do not have any pictures of “Sarah Palin + Naked,” nor do we have any of “Sarah Palin + Swimsuit.” In the past 24 hours, there have been 157 separate searches on this site for “Sarah Palin Swimsuit,” and 161 separate searches for “Sarah Palin Naked.” I repeat, we have no bathing suit, swim suit, bikini, or naked pictures of Sarah Palin. What kind of people do you think we are, anyway? 😉

UPDATE VIIa: [spot_the_dog] Ace has noticed a similar search phenomenon on his blog and has a theory…

UPDATE VIII: A well-rounded view of the selection of Sarah Palin for the Vice President Nomination can be found here.

UPDATE IX:  We got it!  YES!  Nude photo of Sarah Palin right here!  (C’mon.  You know you want to click.)

UPDATE X: Feel free to visit our main page and read the latest posts we’ve written.

Theres a little bit of me in every mouthfull…

I tried to resist but i have to put this little story on.

Man caught with penis in pasta jar … near Nobbys Beach

A man caught near Nobbys Beach with his penis in a pasta sauce jar led police on a 20 kmh car chase, Newcastle Local Court heard yesterday.

As my missus is wont to say “what is it about you men and your dicks, isnt there anything you wont stick it in?”. (I think the answer to that is probably….no)


They found a 750-millilitre jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue “pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling”.

A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women’s stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.

The Jack Russell is still having counselling as we speak…

I know one thing, Im not going to this blokes place for dinner.

Paul Newman has Died

I know both Nilk and I have been dreading this day, a day we both knew was sadly coming for some time.

Epitome of Cool

Paul Newman: Epitome of Cool

Being fifty, I grew up watching this guy act. To me, he was always cooler than Brando or James Dean. Only Charlton Heston and John Wayne were bigger favorites of mine, but hey, Heston did all those big Biblical epics I love and Wayne… well WTF can you say about Wayne that hasn’t been said a million, jillion times before? Bogart’s in there too, somewhere, along with McQueen.

Oh, I almost forgot: FUCK CANCER!

Say it Ain’ So, Hugh: Hef Pulls Plug on Playboy Parties

LOS ANGELES — It looks like Holly Madison is finally getting what she wants — Hugh Hefner all to herself and the winding down of his wild parties populated by girls wearing next to nothing.

Fellow girlfriends Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt were nowhere to be seen at last Thursday’s EA Madden NFL ’09 Game Launch party at West Hollywood’s STK. And the Playboy founder clearly only had eyes for Madison as they canoodled in the back VIP booth, with Holly very much in her element and laughing a lot more than usual (for once she didn’t have to share her man).”

Cardinal Hefner

Cardinal Hefner

This is really going to disappoint my religious order. Hefner is our founder.

Meet Brigadier General H.R. McMaster

This is huge, huge news. General David Petraeus is finally reforming the US Army from it’s fossilized cold war stance into a nimble asymmetrical warfare organization by promoting colonels to general officers based on merit and combat experience. Col. McMaster is only one on the list of new BG’s who have cut their teeth and shown extreme resourcefulness in asymmetrical warfare, but he’s one of my personal long-time heroes in this current war on terrorists (I read several millblogs, but I never ever comment there because I’m a pencil-neck civilian, even though my dad was a USAF colonel).

Colonel H.R. McMaster, now a BG!

Colonel H.R. McMaster, now a BG!

This is one tough hombre; one bad-ass mofo. Isn’t “McMaster” the coolest of all possible names for an American warrior? He’s not alone on the BG list either, which reads like forty yards of combat-hardened fucking barbed wire.

Now, if the shit-ass shyster-politicians – inferior scum, all – will just get the hell out of the way and let these guys do the jobs God created them to do, I’ll sleep perfectly well at night, thank you very mucking futch.

Alexander Solzhenitsyn has Died

“MOSCOW — Alexander Solzhenitsyn, the Nobel Prize-winning author whose books chronicled the horrors of the Soviet gulag system, has died at age 89, his son said Monday.

Stepan Solzhenitsyn told The Associated Press his father died late Sunday of heart failure, but declined further comment. Solzhenitsyn’s unflinching accounts of torment and survival in the Soviet Union’s slave labor camps riveted his countrymen, whose secret history he exposed. They earned him 20 years of bitter exile, but international renown.”

Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Believe it or not, I read The Gulag Archipelago trilogy all on my own when I was in high school, as my dad had the hard cover 1973 edition (I’m pretty sure I still have it somewhere). That book probably shaped my world view more than anything outside of my own personal experiences abroad.

RIP and Godspeed, Alexander.

John Edwards: America’s Answer to Prince Charles


Senator Edwards Cornered by National Enquirer after Visiting Mistress and Mother to His Love Child.

I’d make some commentary here, but I have to go for a jog just now, so I’ll join you in comments.

Via> Byron York over at NRO’s The Corner.

Liberty and Responsibilty Go Hand in Hand

Stable of Zionist Hore #2


Where are the vaunted women of The National Organization Of Women? Well many are in the streets fighting against a Soldier, Airman, Sailor, Marine, or Coastguardsman that has given them and protected that right with their very lives over the past seventy years. Some are babbling of a “glass ceiling”. Grow up ladies. Not a single one of you is worthy of your female ancestors. Not one. Has it escaped your notice that real women in so many countries along with their children have real problems like death, starvation, humiliation, disease and real theocratic and fascists governments. You do not care do you?

That’s Getting Off Cheap!

Here’s the story. Two guys go out and have a few too many drinks, and being three sheets to the wind they climb on a docked boat and make a mayday call to the emergency services claiming that they’re on a boat with five people and it’s starting to sink. Half an hour later, they call back again, claiming that the boat has gone down and all five people, one of them being a pregnant woman, are now in the water.

So a whole bunch of people, including “Water Police, a naval patrol boat, local volunteers, ships owned by resource giants Woodside and Santos and police and private planes” go out, and they don’t find the boat. By this point, the two fuckheads involved are probably laughing their asses off or passed out.

After all these people have been out looking for some people in serious trouble for seven fucking hours, they call off the search, and start tracing where the call came from and who had made it.

They found the two kids who’d wasted the time and efforts of a whole lot of people who could have been responding to actual emergencies, and charged them. They were “convicted in April of creating a false belief regarding human safety and each was sentenced to a 12-month intensive supervision order and 200 hours of community service. The two knucklefuckers were also ordered to pay $43,980.69 each, which means they got off awfully cheap considering the search is estimated to have cost over $200,000.

They should be grateful.

Pay gap at centre of equality bill

Financial Times

Employers will be forced to allow staff to discuss what they are paid under plans for “empowering the resentful” legions of underpaid women being set out by the government on Thursday.

An equality bill in the autumn will outlaw the “gagging clauses” being used by one in four employers to prevent staff from discussing their remuneration, Harriet Harman, the minister for women and equality, will on Thursday tell MPs.

But the bill will not require all employers to conduct audits showing the gender pay gap in the company. Ms Harman lost a battle to make such audits mandatory for the private sector – an outcome that will relieve business but incense unions.

The minister said on Wednesday that the equality legislation, being introduced in December’s Queen’s Speech, would nonetheless “set the cat among the pigeons” by ensuring greater openness.

The “British reserve about discussing pay” has contributed to a “lurking entrenchment of discrimination,” Ms Harman said. More than three decades after the Equal Pay Act of 1970, men in full-time jobs are still paid on average 17 per cent more than women in equivalent full-time posts.

Salary statistics
Gap between full-time
men and women 17%

Gap between full-time
men and part-time

Gap within some government departments Treasury 26%

Transport 21%

Work and pensions 7%

Equalities Office –4%

The percentage gap measures the extent to which the equivalent hourly rates of pay are higher for men than women. The minus sign for the equalities office shows that women are paid more than their male counterparts

“Let’s get [pay] out in the open … of course gagging clauses have got to go,” Ms Harman said. “What is absolutely key to making change is empowering the resentful. Women suspect that men in their own workplace are paid more than them … but it’s quite difficult for them to challenge it when they don’t actually know what the pattern of pay is … ”

The government will encourage the equality watchdog to take action against the City over unequal pay, the minister said. “We’ll have the Equality and Human Rights Commission going after particular sectors which are particularly problematic, like the financial services sector, where it’s a 45 per cent pay gap, or after the construction industry, which is a chronic under-employer of black and Asian people.”

Ministers also intend to use the government’s hefty procurement power to “drive transparency into the 30 per cent of the private sector” that supply goods and services to the state.

Private companies contracting with the state, as well as public sector employers, will be required to produce audits showing the gender pay gap, as well as the proportions of their staff that come from ethnic minorities or are disabled.

* The government will on Thursday again vow to tackle age discrimination. But the Financial Times understands the thorny issue of insurers’ treatment of older customers is likely to be the subject of further talks between the industry and ministers. In principle, the government wants age-related premium increases or policy exclusions to be used only when actuarially justified.

OK, First. Never have understood this one, Brits. A Queen is revered, but women in the workplace are just tolerated? Paid less?

No doubt at least one of your spawn, has the same discrimination in place and I suspect that all of England’s spawn do.

The U.S. hell yes. Same work, less pay. Why?
The Canadians will have to bring me up to speed on their situation. If so, why?
Australia. Under the skirt (you know what I mean) of the Queen. Same work, less pay? If so, why?

I hate to make a comparison such as…BUT when men can shit watermelons, which I believe MAY come close to women giving birth, I have trouble understanding why there is inequality in wages earned for the same damn job or profession.

* I’ll have to do some looking as to who/whom stated this…The term used was ageist. Guess what, whomever was correct.

Discrimination based on age is fine, as long as the OLD MEN that are Presidents of companies (which is typically the case) OR the Boards of Directors, are discriminated against like older MALE workers. Sure let it rip.

By the way, I do understand that the older one becomes the more that could go wrong with the body and mind. Case in point…A 38 year old male drops dead. Poor old shit, 38 years of age. (Ummm, sarcasm, people. Just in case you didn’t recognize it).

Would someone with more brain power then I have, explain this to me? Use small words, please.

Posted in Employment, Men, Women. Tags: . 4 Comments »

A little story of my day…

Just got in not to long ago. Had an Elks Club tournament at the golf course today. Tee off time was at 2:00 PM. At 12:00 PM, one of the Elks Club members, rammed a golf cart into the Pro shop. Knocked the Pro shop off kilter, (no shit, he did) the bastard he hit it so hard. It went downhill from there. I’m already on my fourth beer. End of story.

OH, forgot. The Pro shop, is a solid log building.

Replacement Post: Retrosexual in Action

Since Tiz deleated my last post in this series… along with over a dozen comments (AHEM!), I thought I’d demonstrate some more retrosexuality for the uneducated.

Yeah, BMW motorcycles, not Harleys: I’m a motorcyclist, not a biker. Deal.

The Last Legitimate Prejudice: Anti-Male Bigotry

Here’s a great top ten list of the worst male-bashing ads on American television right now. Oh, it evidently helps if you are a white man.

This was number one, but you ought to watch them all:

Sorry, but I’m not Al Bundy and I’m not Homer Simpson. I have a 135 IQ and I believe in God. I run 30 miles per week and work out on my Bowflex. I’m not a catch and release fisherman, I’m a catch and eat fisherman. I like to kill deer and quail and doves, cook them, and eat them.

I love women who love being women, because I’m a man who loves being a man.

I don’t think women today can handle a real man – a knight in shining armor – that isn’t what they want. They want the most financially successful metrosexual that they think they can control. Well, sorry, but I’m a retrosexual, and my heroes are John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, and Clint Eastwood: You can’t control me, and I have no desire to control you. A woman who is confident as a woman is challenge enough, thank you very fucking much. A man who is confident as a man is problem enough for the best woman as well; evidently more problem than women today are interested in dealing with.

Pity. You know why? If a coupe doesn’t keep each other guessing and off balance, the relationship is boring. No thanks. I’ve had enough boring relationships. Where the fuck are the real women these days? A real man would like to know.

Cheeseburgers, Beer, and…Sex and the City?

The first movie based on the HBO series, Sex and the City, opened last week. I’ve been waiting for months to see it.

This admission has shocked some of my male friends. Actually, it has shocked all of my guy buddies as well as a fair number of women. The film is the very definition of Chick Flick. It not the type of thing that a beer-drinking, cheeseburger-eating guy such as myself is supposed to enjoy (I’m even drinking a Miller Lite as I write this). I mean, come on: Isn’t there also an Incredible Hulk movie coming out?

But I do like Sex and the City. Love it, in fact. I’ve seen every episode of the series. I just didn’t enjoy it in the way the filmmakers necessarily intended.

My intentions were a bit more mercenary. Like most guys, I find women utterly perplexing. As Norm from the Cheers once said: “Women. Can’t live with them. Pass the beernuts.”

So after years of hearing female friends and acquaintances rave about the series, I decided to rent a few episodes from my local video store. Maybe if I watched this show, which so many of them clearly identified with, I could understand them a little better.

What I found was utterly divorced from anything resembling my own world. Whenever I saw an episode, I might have been watching a documentary on a lost native tribe deep in the heart of Borneo. That’s how this strange, far away world of wealthy, single Manhattanites seemed to this guy from Alexandria, Virginia.

For that reason, I found it utterly fascinating. It had never occurred to me that getting a new pair of designer shoes could be a thing of transcendent importance to a person, as it was to the show’s heroine, Carrie Bradshaw. Or that an entire pop culture phenomenon could be built around such a character. One entire episode focused on Bradshaw’s attempt to get a friend to replace some designer shoes she lost during a visit. (And they said Seinfeld was a show about nothing.)

more here

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