An informal group blog featuring posts on a wide variety of subjects by a crew of authors in several different countries. Just sit back, have some fun, and maybe learn something.
If you've got any tips or suggestions, feel free to email us at TizonasWeblog at gmail.com, and one of us will get back to you.
I’ve carefully analyzed this video in search of greater meaning and I’ve noticed what Victoria’s Secret thinks sells : a limited color scheme, girls throwing things, girls sniffing things and girls biting things.
Also, there are flowers to subconsciously make people think of “pollination.” Well, the commercial made me think of pollination.
Being a bit of a philistine, I might have thought the way to sell lingerie would be to make a commercial with girls taking their clothes off. Apparently, Victoria’s Secret disagrees; one of the girls was pulling her stockings on. It seems, the professional way to sell lingerie is by having girls put clothes on. Weird.
Oh great, first it was the 10:10 idiots and their “blow up the kids” ads, now its an Aussie mob saying hamburgers are the equivalent of injecting speed/heroin into your kids.
Heres an experiment for the producers of this tripe. Ill feed a child 3 happy meals a week on their condition you inject your own kids with speed for the same period of time. 3 times a day.
At the end of a week we will just go cold turkey, you inject saline into your kid and Ill feed my kid 3 square meals.
Then you can compare the results eh?
Who pays for this tripe? They must be government sponsored because no business would choose to offend its paying customers so much.
Personally, I think this is really for positions in The Department of Redundancy Department. Aren’t all lawyers retarded?
“The Civil Rights Division encourages qualified applicants with targeted disabilities to apply. Targeted disabilities are deafness, blindness, missing extremities, partial or complete paralysis, convulsive disorder, mental retardation, mental illness, severe distortion of limbs and/or spine…
The Department of Justice welcomes and encourages applications from persons with physical and mental disabilities.”
In any event, I think all of the profoundly retarded lawyers are in the US Senate.
“Clouds stream in the wake of wind turbines arrayed at the Horns Rev offshore wind farm in this stunning photo. But David MacKay, a physicist at the University of Cambridge in the UK, sees the image as illustrating the common problem of back-row wind turbines losing power relative to the front row.
Downstream wind turbines may lose 20 percent or even 30 percent of their power compared to their fellows in front, according to a study on wake effects at Horns Rev that MacKay highlights on his blog.”
Just how fucking retarded are the fucktards over at MoveOn.disorganization? Welp, back in 2004 they made up an ad to “speak dipshitese to power” and protest W’s $1 trillion debt. It was supposed to air during the Superbowl, but it was rejected. Thanks to the modern miracle that is YouTube, though, it lives on.
“After building a true budget baseline, the sobering result shows ten-year deficits of $13 trillion. The annual budget deficit never falls below $1 trillion. By 2019, the debt is projected at $22 trillion, or 98 percent of GDP.”
If they haven’t already made the ad up, well, then they are scum-sucking, maggot-out-of-hell, lying hypocrites… but we knew that already, didn’t we?
Now, the Apple event is scheduled for 10AM California time, which is 1PM Washington D.C. time, while Obama’s SotU speech will be at 9PM Washington time – eight hours after the Apple event begins.
Now, I had to ask myself, “Self, why would Obama announce, on the same day Apple announced, an event eight hours later, on the same date, January 27th?” Could he and his handlers be so stupid as to not know that the intertubes will be cooking with Apple Tablet talk when Obama and his Teleprompter take the stage?
mmmmmmmmNo. Probably not.
Then I had to ask myself, “Self, why does Obama want his SotU speech to be buried beneath an avalanche of Apple buzz?”
Could it be that, Obama’s Approval Index sucks, and he wants his SotU event to be off the radar?
“The abandoned corpses, in white body bags with number tags tied to each toe, lie one above the other on steel racks inside a giant freezer in Detroit’s central mortuary, like discarded shoes in the back of a wardrobe.
Some have lain here for years, but in recent months the number of unclaimed bodies has reached a record high. For in this city that once symbolised the American Dream many cannot even afford to bury their dead.”
This morgue seems to have some room.
““I have not seen this many unclaimed bodies in 13 years on the job,” said Albert Samuels, chief investigator at the mortuary. “It started happening when the economy went south last year. I have never seen this many people struggling to give people their last resting place.”
Unburied bodies piling up in the city mortuary — it reached 70 earlier this year — is the latest and perhaps most appalling indignity to be heaped on the people of Detroit. The motor city that once boasted the highest median income and home ownership rate in the US is today in the midst of a long and agonising death spiral.”
Reminds me of something.
“After years of gross mismanagement by the city’s [DEMOCRAT! – Beef] leaders and the big three car manufacturers of General Motors, Ford and Chrysler, who continued to make vehicles that Americans no longer wanted to buy, Detroit today has an unemployment rate of 28 per cent, higher even than the worst years of the Great Depression.
The murder rate is soaring. The school system is in receivership. The city treasury is $300 million (£182m) short of the funds needed to provide the most basic services such as rubbish collection. In its postwar heyday, when Detroit helped the US to dominate the world’s car market, it had 1.85 million people. Today, just over 900,000 remain. It was once America’s fourth-largest city. Today, it ranks eleventh, and will continue to fall.
Thousands of houses are abandoned, roofs ripped off, windows smashed. Block after block of shopping districts lie boarded up. Former manufacturing plants, such as the giant Fisher body plant that made Buicks and Cadillacs, but which was abandoned in 1991, are rotting.
Even Detroit’s NFL football team, the Lions, are one of the worst in the country. Last season they lost all 16 games. This year they have lost eight, and won just a single gane.
Michigan’s Central Station, designed by the same people who gave New York its Grand Central Station, was abandoned 20 years ago. One photographer who produced a series of images for Time magazine said that he often felt, as he moved around parts of Detroit, as though he was in a post-apocalyptic disaster.
Then in June, the $21,000 annual county budget to bury Detroit’s unclaimed bodies ran out. Until then, if a family confirmed that they could not afford to lay a loved one to rest, Wayne County — in which Detroit sits — would, for $700, bury the body in a rough pine casket at a nearby cemetery, under a marker.”
I worked in Detroit, in some of the worst areas, for several weeks at a time on two separate occasions in 2000 and 2004. It really does have to be seen to be believed, so the TIME photo series they referred to above is here, in all of it’s horrible post-apocalyptic gory glory. If you want more, there are 47 much larger pictures from the series at photographer Timothy Fadek’s site. I highly recommend it. Here’s my personal favorite.
I’m sure Marxism would fix all this up. /sarc
“Darrell Vickers had to identify his aunt at the mortuary in September but he could not afford to bury her as he was unemployed. When his grandmother recently died, Mr Vickers’s father paid for her cremation, but with a credit card at 21 per cent interest. He said at the time it was “devastating” to not be able to bury his aunt.
What has alarmed medical examiners at the mortuary is that most of the dead died of natural causes. It is evidence, they believe, of people who could not afford medical insurance and medicines and whose families can now not afford to bury them [Hey, you didn’t expect this entire article to pass w/o at least one speculative anecdote in support of Obama Care, did you? – Beef].
Yet in recent weeks there have been signs of hope for Mr Samuels that he can reduce the backlog of bodies. Local philanthropists have donated $8,000 to help to bury the dead. In the past month, Mr Samuels has been able to bury 11 people. The number of unburied is now down to 55.”
Yes, “local philanthropists” who made their money through capitalism, or who inherited money made through capitalism.
Odin’s Cross and Nazi wrapping paper really gets one into the holiday spirit, no?
“Nazi Germany celebrated Christmas without Christ with the help of swastika tree baubles, ‘Germanic’ cookies and a host of manufactured traditions, a new exhibition has shown.
The way the celebration was gradually taken over and exploited for propaganda purposes by Hitler’s Nazis is detailed in a new exhibition.
Rita Breuer has spent years scouring flea markets for old German Christmas ornaments.
She and her daughter Judith developed a fascination with the way Christmas was used by the atheist Nazis, who tried to turn it into a pagan winter solstice celebration.”
“A winter festival was the most popular festival of the year in many cultures. Reasons included the fact that less agricultural work needs to be done during the winter, as well as an expectation of better weather as spring approached.[17] Modern Christmas customs include: gift-giving and merrymaking from Roman Saturnalia; greenery, lights, and charity from the Roman New Year; and Yule logs and various foods from Germanic feasts.[18] Pagan Scandinavia celebrated a winter festival called Yule, held in the late December to early January period. As Northern Europe was the last part to Christianize, its pagan traditions had a major influence on Christmas. Scandinavians still call Christmas Jul. In English, the word Yule is synonymous with Christmas,[19] a usage first recorded in 900.”
In any event, the Nazis failed.
“Happily, t5he [sic – beef] German people mostly ignored the clumsy propaganda efforts and continued with the same traditions as before.”
And no wonder.
Swastika shaped cookies could never top a gingerbread man.
As usual, the charge is that Americans allegedly burned a Koran.
Islam and Obama are both so far beyond parody that it’s impossible to post this stuff with a straight face. EPIC… Epic… epic… FAIL… Fail… fail (That’s Sports Stadium Announcer Echo – SSAE – for those of you unfamiliar with the format).
“The eco-pawprint of a pet dog is twice that of a 4.6-litre Land Cruiser driven 10,000 kilometres a year, researchers have found.
Victoria University professors Brenda and Robert Vale, architects who specialise in sustainable living, say pet owners should swap cats and dogs for creatures they can eat, such as chickens or rabbits, in their provocative new book Time to Eat the Dog: The real guide to sustainable living.
The couple have assessed the carbon emissions created bypopular pets, taking into account the ingredients of pet food and the land needed to create them.
“If you have a German shepherd or similar-sized dog, for example, its impact every year is exactly the same as driving a large car around,” Brenda Vale said.
“A lot of people worry about having SUVs but they don’t worry about having Alsatians and what we are saying is, well, maybe you should be because the environmental impact … is comparable.”
In a study published in New Scientist, they calculated a medium dog eats 164 kilograms of meat and 95kg of cereals every year. It takes 43.3 square metres of land to produce 1kg of chicken a year. This means it takes 0.84 hectares to feed Fido.
They compared this with the footprint of a Toyota Land Cruiser, driven 10,000km a year, which uses 55.1 gigajoules (the energy used to build and fuel it). One hectare of land can produce 135 gigajoules a year, which means the vehicle’s eco-footprint is 0.41ha – less than half of the dog’s.”
What. the. fuck. next?
“They found cats have an eco-footprint of 0.15ha – slightly less than a Volkswagen Golf. Hamsters have a footprint of 0.014ha – keeping two of them is equivalent to owning a plasma TV.
Professor Vale says the title of the book is meant to shock, but the couple, who do not have a cat or dog, believe the reintroduction of non-carnivorous pets into urban areas would help slow down global warming.”
What are, “non-carnivorous pets” you ask?
“”The title of the book is a little bit of a shock tactic, I think, but though we are not advocating eating anyone’s pet cat or dog there is certainly some truth in the fact that if we have edible pets like chickens for their eggs and meat, and rabbits and pigs, we will be compensating for the impact of other things on our environment.”
Professor Vale took her message to Wellington City Council last year, but councillors said banning traditional pets or letting people keep food animals in their homes were not acceptable options.”
I guess we’ll be hearing more ridiculous stories like how these fucking retards spent £2,000 to save their pet chicken.
Just look at those pathetic brain-stems. We want to encourage this kind of crap?
“In a new two-minute trailer of 2012, directed by Roland Emmerich – the man behind Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow, mankind is seen to fight for survival after a prophecy about about an apocalypse.
But as with all apocalyptic movies, there are a lucky few who survive the terror… after Americans appear to be save the day (yet again) [Fuck Yeah! – Beef].
It looks, however, as if the CGI experts have been given a completely free hand designing this apocalypse – with the net result that the trailer borders on laughable.
Critics in the U.S. are already beginning to describe the movie as a disaster in itself.”
Well, judge for yourself.
As for me, I only know one thing: I can’t fucking wait to see it.
In what has to be the Mother of All WTF Moments, it has now been revealed that – this really is beyond comprehension – Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was Born a Jew!
“A photograph of the Iranian president holding up his identity card during elections in March 2008 clearly shows his family has Jewish roots.
A close-up of the document reveals he was previously known as Sabourjian – a Jewish name meaning cloth weaver.
The short note scrawled on the card suggests his family changed its name to Ahmadinejad when they converted to embrace Islam after his birth.”
Wow.
UPDATE: My instincts were right, it seems, but I gave in to the sensationalism: It was just too freaky to be true.
That actually makes my frame of reference for reality a more secure thing. LOL!
And now, after it’s been revealed he’d engaged in multiple affairs with female staff members (notably his personal assistant, Stephanie Birkitt, who is about half his age) in a story brought to life by an alleged extortion attempt, his ratings have soared again by as much as 22%.
So here we have two things, each of which would have traditionally ended his career, either through a plummet in ratings, or his bosses (read: advertisers) giving him the flick, and yet we witness the man enjoying popularity levels that he hasn’t had in years.
Instead of making yet another update to my original post on this sordid subject, I thought this amazing revelation deserved it’s own place in infamy. Besides, the previous post had already reached proportions well beyond merely epic.
“(CNN) — A retired prosecutor whose comments in a 2008 HBO documentary threatened to derail a 31-year-old sex case against film director Roman Polanski now says he lied.
David Wells told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer on Thursday that he “buttered up” his role in the Polanski case for the documentary crew. He said he lied about trying to goad a judge to sentence Polanski to prison in 1978 for having sex with a 13-year-old girl.
Wells’ comments in “Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired” raised questions of judicial misconduct and spawned Polanski’s most recent effort to get the case dismissed. But the legal challenge stalled when Polanski refused to return to the United States, where he faced certain arrest.
“I made these imprudent comments, just to liven it up a little,” Wells said. “In retrospect, it was a bad thing to do, and I never knew this thing was going to be shown in the United States.””
I’m surprised that a lawyer would lie – AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAaaa – to stoke his ego – OOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOooo – and brag – EEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEeee… Okay, so I’m not.
This documentary, you see, was the fig leaf that the leftards were using to hide their shame behind while they rationalized that Polanski should be freed. So now I’m expecting them all to recant and say that roamin’ Roman should finally face justice…
… ~crickets~ …
I’m kidding, of course.
Oh, and did you know that Polanski and Nastassja Kinski were lovers?… When she was just fifteen years old? Seems Roman is a classic pedophile, and not just a one-time offender.
Just when I thought this couldn’t get any weirder.
Hey FOX, if you’re going to do a “then and now” pictorial about an iconic TV show, the least you could do is get the most iconic actor of the series’ name and dates right. You got his age at death correct, so how is it you can’t subtract 1912 from 1978 and see that there’s a problem? 1978-1912= 68, see? It’s not even math, it’s simple arithmetic! As for the last name, there’s this thing called Google. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?
Thank Goodness The Wizard of WOZ sent me this after my recent trip to Australia and back. I can’t verify the authenticity, but who cares?
Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers.
Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”
Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”
Tower: “TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.”
TWA 2341: “Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?”
Tower: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: “I’m f…ing bored!”
Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!”
Unknown aircraft: “I said I was f…ing bored, not f…ing stupid!”
O’Hare Approach Control to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”
United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this…I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, “What was your last known position?”
Student: “When I was number one for takeoff.”
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted:
“American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.”
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): “Ground, what is our start clearance time?”
Ground (in English): “If you want an answer you must speak in English.”
Lufthansa (in English): “I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?”
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): “Because you lost the bloody war!”
Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7”
Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”
Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?”
Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern… we’ve already notified our caterers.”
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, “What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?”
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: “I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I’ll have enough parts for another one.”
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: ” Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway.”
Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.”
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”
Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.”
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?”
Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, — And I didn’t land.”
While taxiing at London’s Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727..
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: “US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it’s difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!”
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: “God! Now you’ve screwed everything up! It’ll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don’t move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?”
“Yes, ma’am,” the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:”Wasn’t I married to you once?”
I should be so cocky. The flight out of Narita had to return to base. Air-conditioning problem they reckoned. Next day, heard anecdotal claims flames were seen coming from one on the engines during takeoff the night before.
Can you imagine how caved in her cheeks would be without the implants? I admire people who stay in shape – I work out on my Bowflex regularly – but that’s just frightening, not to mention the opposite of sexy.
P.S. The images aren’t loading for me right now, but almost our entire media library seems to be doing the same thing, as I look at it. WP may be having issues, so I’ll check the post later and re-attach the pics if need be.
“The House overwhelmingly approved a resolution Friday in support of Iranian dissidents as that country’s top cleric warned protesters to end demonstrations.
The resolution was approved in a 405-1 vote, with two members voting present. Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) was the only lawmaker opposed to the resolution. Reps. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) and David Loebsack (D-Iowa) voted present.”
Of course, Keith Ellison (D-Mecca) voting present is no surprise, as he’s the only (openly) Muslim congressional tool, and I know nothing about David Scrotesack other than that he’s a leftard butt-plug, but Ron Paul? Seriously, what is his major malfunction?
“The federal government is spending $423,500 to find out why men don’t like to wear condoms, a project government watchdogs say is a nearly-half-a-million-dollar waste of taxpayer money.
Researchers at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, with funding from the National Institutes of Health, are investigating why “young, heterosexual adult men” have problems using condoms. The study will include “skill-based intervention” to teach grown men how to use protection.
The first phase of the two-year study will be a simple Q&A, but doctors say the second phase will plumb uncharted territory.
“The second phase involves a laboratory study, and focuses on penile erection and sensitivity during condom application,” reads the abstract from Drs. Erick Janssen and Stephanie Sanders, both of the Kinsey Institute.
“The project aims to understand the relationship between condom application and loss of erections and decreased sensation, including the role of condom skills and performance anxiety, and to find new ways to improve condom use among those who experience such problems.””
Let me make this easy for you:
1] Men don’t like to wear condoms because they totally destroy the best sensations of sex.
2] Men don’t like to wear condoms because putting them on ruins the moment.
3] Condoms don’t work at all for uncircumcised men – that would be me.
Now, I’ll settle for just 10% of that money, so write me a check for $42,350.00 please.
Here is the most useful thing a guy can do with a rubber.
The Tizona Group 