Will TSSA parody become illegal?

The other day I was perusing Ye Olde Journalist (a fine blog to which I am a contributor) and came across this item. It seems that the tools from TSSA (two S’s, because you can’t spell Schutzstaffel without the second S) take umbrage with the near constant abuse they have to endure at the hands of those they serve grope. H.R. 3011 would criminalize ANY unauthorized use of the TSSA name, logos, and such. It makes no distinction between use of said items in an attempt to falsely pass as a TSSA agent and the use of said items for parody purposes, such as the pictures contained in this post (click on image to display full size).

It seems to me that the TSSA is being rather thin-skinned and petty.This is, of course, exactly the kind of reaction one would expect from a federal agency with TSSA’s reputation.

If the TSSA wishes to make use of its names and logos illegal, then by all means we have to get as much out there as we can before it becomes a crime.

The following soon-to-be-illegal uses of the TSSA name are courtesy of about.com.

“Have you heard the TSA’s new slogan? ‘We handle more junk than eBay.'” -Jay Leno

“TSA says they are going to crack down on the invasive pat-downs. In fact, one agent was transferred to another parish.” –David Letterman

“This year marks the first Thanksgiving in which travelers will get molested before they get to their uncle’s house.” -Seth Meyers

“Now, to make it worse, the airlines are charging a $15 molestation fee.” –Jay Leno

“I get more action going through airline security than I did all through high school.” –Jimmy Kimmel

Okay, you get the picture. No need to belabor the issue any further.

There is no excuse for the excesses of TSSA. Having only recently returned from a trip via flying bus to Arizona to see my parents and brother, I can tell you that being herded about like cattle, stripped of your dignity, and either junk scanned or gate raped by a civil servant, is NOT what our founding fathers had in mind. The next time some tool tries to tell you that the terrorists hate us for our freedoms, take them to the airport and show them what totalitarianism looks like.

Just don’t abuse the TSSA name or logo while you’re at it.

Tiny wang mocked

It all began when a TSA employee used himself for a demo full body scan using those new airport full body scanners. His co-workers then relentlessly mocked him for a year for being under endowed before he lost it, and beat the crap out of one. Details.

 Of course, we wouldn’t need full body scanners if…

cross-posted

Kevin Rudd lands in Copenhagen ahead of summit

Houston, the sparrow has landed.

Failure Analysis Video: U.S. Airways Flight 1549

I’ve seen a lot of computer generated failure analysis videos over the years, but this CGI video of the 1549 bird strike and Hudson landing is the best I’ve seen by far. It includes the actual control tower and cockpit conversations; as audio when available, and as a transcript when not. Just spec-freaking-tacular. Read the article first!

You’ll have to watch multiple times to get everything said in the cockpit, even after the setup by the article. Just an awesome job.

Another Democrat, Another Tax

Just fuck off, already.

Now some congressman from Oregon, Earl Blumenauer, Democrat of course, wants to track your car to find out where and when it goes. Why? So you can be taxed more.

H/T Insty

Final destination

OK. This is just eerie.

A woman who arrived late for the Air France plane flight that crashed in the Atlantic last week has been killed in a car accident.

Australia: Not just an island, but a hella scary one too!

For some unknown reason, recently the most popular Google searches leading to our site have been “Australia Map” and  “Australian Flag” and variations thereof  (barely – just barely – beating out “goatse” and “sarah plain naked,” it must be said.)

The “Australia Map” searches almost always lead to a post on Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s keen observation on the ABC’s 7:30  Report back in 2008 that “Australia is not an island”:

"Australia is not an island" - K. Rudd, 2008

However, our own Wizard of Woz has unearthed an even more accurate map of Australia which may give the rather pedestrian version above a run for its money in the page-impressions stakes:

Accurate Map of Australia

The following ad campaign by our Alt-Tourism Authority would seem to back this up:

.

UPDATE: Australia has crazy-wild spiders.  Hey!  More cool spiders!

McCain’s Perfect Choice for a Running Mate: Governor Sarah Palin

While most of the pedantic, two-dimensional, inside-the-box-thinking, conservative political hacks are touting Tom Ridge for the slot (Not a bad guy, but…), David Freddoso notes a far superior choice has been proposed: The Republican Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin.

I believe this is a truly inspired idea. Gov. Palin ran as an anti-corruption outsider, and handily defeated a corrupt and entrenched Republican political machine. Plus, at 44, she would almost totally wipe the “age issue” McCain has off the slate, and since Obama is only two years her senior, there is no way they could attack her for her youth and inexperience: She has much more executive experience than Senator Obama has.

Not to mention the fact that, she’s a gorgeous woman who exudes mass quantities of charisma…

and has a super-solid family life.

Dibs on the eldest daughter! LOL!

This inspired choice would allow McCain to actually capitalize on his “maverick” persona, as Gov. Palin shook Alaska politics to the core: She’s a charming, charismatic woman, but she can also play with the big boys and kick ass.

What say ye?

UPDATE: Things are looking optimistic!

UPDATE II: Welcome to all 4500 8000 40,000 in the past few hours (so far!) people visiting us from Google. We’re a fairly opinionated right-wing blog, and you might like to take a look at our “About” page. You might also be interested in our other coverage of Sarah Palin and whether she becomes a prospective Vice President of the United States. You can find this coverage here and here. Personally, I hope she does, but you can feel free to debate the idea in comments below. All first comments are moderated, but unless you either insult or use severe profanity (and I mean severe by my standards, which generally only means the C U Next Tuesday word or the implication that someone has had a rather enjoyable erotic experience with someone who has borne a child), however if you come up with a new one, I may simply delete your comment. I, and all other contributors to this blog are more than fair in what we permit.

UPDATE III: Nayr Drahcir, don’t bother even trying. You will not be published.

UPDATE IV: A lot of people must like Palin.

UPDATE V: More coverage of Governor Sarah Palin and a theme song here.

UPDATE VI: Funniest observation on the announcement yet: “Put Obama and Palin on a basketball court one on one. Winner takes all!”

UPDATE VII: [spot_the_dog] No, we do not have any pictures of “Sarah Palin + Naked,” nor do we have any of “Sarah Palin + Swimsuit.” In the past 24 hours, there have been 157 separate searches on this site for “Sarah Palin Swimsuit,” and 161 separate searches for “Sarah Palin Naked.” I repeat, we have no bathing suit, swim suit, bikini, or naked pictures of Sarah Palin. What kind of people do you think we are, anyway? 😉

UPDATE VIIa: [spot_the_dog] Ace has noticed a similar search phenomenon on his blog and has a theory…

UPDATE VIII: A well-rounded view of the selection of Sarah Palin for the Vice President Nomination can be found here.

UPDATE IX:  We got it!  YES!  Nude photo of Sarah Palin right here!  (C’mon.  You know you want to click.)

UPDATE X: Feel free to visit our main page and read the latest posts we’ve written.

Motorcycles V’s Cars – RANT

I was reading an article in an internal insurance publication today regarding an accident involving a car and a motorcycle.

The differences in the claim forms were amazing; a lot of omissions on both sides.  What astounded me however was the letter that was sent by the motorcyle rider to the insurance company.

As I can’t bring the document out of the office I can only summarise what it said for you, and here it is.

“People who drive cars need to take more notice of us motorcycle riders.  We dont have a cage around us to protect us in an accident.  We (motorcyclists) dont cause accidents but we always end up more injured than the drivers of the cars that hit us.”

I’m sorry, but it’s their decision to ride a motorcycle.  I made a decision to drive a car because I feel it’s safer.

Anyway the long and the short of it is that after a long investigation it was discovered that the guy on the bike was doing nearly 145kph  when the driver of the car put his indicator on to change lanes, checked his mirrors and moved over.

For crying out loud, you have a choice to ride a bike or drive a car (or both) but at the end of the day we all have to obey the road rules, not just car drivers.  We share the roads. Be aware and do the right thing and stop blaming everyone else.

END RANT

Flight to London makes emergency landing after co-pilot suffers mental breakdown

The co-pilot of a Heathrow-bound plane was dragged kicking and screaming from the cockpit after suffering a mental breakdown while in control of the flight.

He began yelling and “invoking God” as the Air Canada 767 flew at 37,000 feet over the Atlantic. He was held down by other crew members and a passenger, a member of the Canadian armed forces.

The co-pilot then had restraints fastened to his wrists and ankles and was handcuffed to a seat.

The flight from Toronto made an emergency landing in Shannon and the co-pilot, who had been crying and screaming according to witnesses, was taken off the plane.

He was taken by ambulance to a psychiatric ward where he is being treated for a suspected nervous breakdown.

Daily Mail UK

Gee, to bad sport. Hope you get the proper help and all works out fine for ya’.

OH, this is just one of the reasons I’m not to damn crazy (sorry bloke) about flying. Thankfully, this flight landed safely and the gentleman removed. Seeing a flyer of the plane being carted off strapped down, kinda’ makes my stomach queasy. Anyone see the movie “Airplane”? If not, read the rest…it’s similar to the movie, “Airplane”, only real.

Coming back to what I mentioned about not really being a fan of flying. Had this happened were I aboard this flight, this crazy bastard would have screamed over the plane intercom…”I’m takin” this son-of-a-bitch down, you are all going to hell”.

Specifically related to me, he would have been correct in screaming this shit. I am going straight to hell, I just want it to be on my terms, not some fucking loon’s.

Something on a lighter note

Dang magic airplanes. Happens every time you forget to close the hatch.