Will TSSA parody become illegal?


The other day I was perusing Ye Olde Journalist (a fine blog to which I am a contributor) and came across this item. It seems that the tools from TSSA (two S’s, because you can’t spell Schutzstaffel without the second S) take umbrage with the near constant abuse they have to endure at the hands of those they serve grope. H.R. 3011 would criminalize ANY unauthorized use of the TSSA name, logos, and such. It makes no distinction between use of said items in an attempt to falsely pass as a TSSA agent and the use of said items for parody purposes, such as the pictures contained in this post (click on image to display full size).

It seems to me that the TSSA is being rather thin-skinned and petty.This is, of course, exactly the kind of reaction one would expect from a federal agency with TSSA’s reputation.

If the TSSA wishes to make use of its names and logos illegal, then by all means we have to get as much out there as we can before it becomes a crime.

The following soon-to-be-illegal uses of the TSSA name are courtesy of about.com.

“Have you heard the TSA’s new slogan? ‘We handle more junk than eBay.'” -Jay Leno

“TSA says they are going to crack down on the invasive pat-downs. In fact, one agent was transferred to another parish.” –David Letterman

“This year marks the first Thanksgiving in which travelers will get molested before they get to their uncle’s house.” -Seth Meyers

“Now, to make it worse, the airlines are charging a $15 molestation fee.” –Jay Leno

“I get more action going through airline security than I did all through high school.” –Jimmy Kimmel

Okay, you get the picture. No need to belabor the issue any further.

There is no excuse for the excesses of TSSA. Having only recently returned from a trip via flying bus to Arizona to see my parents and brother, I can tell you that being herded about like cattle, stripped of your dignity, and either junk scanned or gate raped by a civil servant, is NOT what our founding fathers had in mind. The next time some tool tries to tell you that the terrorists hate us for our freedoms, take them to the airport and show them what totalitarianism looks like.

Just don’t abuse the TSSA name or logo while you’re at it.

Tiny wang mocked


It all began when a TSA employee used himself for a demo full body scan using those new airport full body scanners. His co-workers then relentlessly mocked him for a year for being under endowed before he lost it, and beat the crap out of one. Details.

 Of course, we wouldn’t need full body scanners if…

cross-posted

Kevin Rudd lands in Copenhagen ahead of summit


Houston, the sparrow has landed.

Failure Analysis Video: U.S. Airways Flight 1549


I’ve seen a lot of computer generated failure analysis videos over the years, but this CGI video of the 1549 bird strike and Hudson landing is the best I’ve seen by far. It includes the actual control tower and cockpit conversations; as audio when available, and as a transcript when not. Just spec-freaking-tacular. Read the article first!

You’ll have to watch multiple times to get everything said in the cockpit, even after the setup by the article. Just an awesome job.

Another Democrat, Another Tax


Just fuck off, already.

Now some congressman from Oregon, Earl Blumenauer, Democrat of course, wants to track your car to find out where and when it goes. Why? So you can be taxed more.

H/T Insty

Final destination


OK. This is just eerie.

A woman who arrived late for the Air France plane flight that crashed in the Atlantic last week has been killed in a car accident.

Australia: Not just an island, but a hella scary one too!


For some unknown reason, recently the most popular Google searches leading to our site have been “Australia Map” and  Australian Flag” and variations thereof  (barely – just barely – beating out “goatse” and “sarah plain naked,” it must be said.)

The “Australia Map” searches almost always lead to a post on Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s keen observation on the ABC’s 7:30  Report back in 2008 that “Australia is not an island”:

Australia is not an island - K. Rudd, 2008

"Australia is not an island" - K. Rudd, 2008

However, our own Wizard of Woz has unearthed an even more accurate map of Australia which may give the rather pedestrian version above a run for its money in the page-impressions stakes:

australia-map-accurate

Accurate Map of Australia

The following ad campaign by our Alt-Tourism Authority would seem to back this up:

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UPDATE: Australia has crazy-wild spiders.  Hey!  More cool spiders!

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