the Future of Venezuela without Hugo Chavez?

That giant baseball is flying straight towards Hugo’s head.

“Gracias Presidente Venezuela Campeón!” translates to “Thanks President Venezuela Champion!” on a billboard put up by political brown nosers in the City of Caracas in 2006 (trusting my memory, I think it was the City of Caracas but I can’t tell if the logo on the lower left actually says it was Caracas).

It references the fact that Venezuela won baseball’s Caribbean Series (Serie del Caribe) in 2006. I can only assume that the city government of Caracas put up billboards in the years that a Venezuelan team didn’t win blaming Chavez for not wearing his baseball uniform.

But now, with Hugo Chavez dead, how will any Venezuelan baseball team ever win again? Don’t worry, they have a plan :

Hugo Chavez’s body will be preserved and forever displayed inside a glass tomb at a military museum not far from the presidential palace from which he ruled for 14 years, his successor announced Thursday in a Caribbean version of the treatment given Communist revolutionary leaders like Lenin, Mao and Ho Chi Minh.

Obviously, in order to win future baseball games they’ll dress mummified Hugo up in a baseball uniform for all to see and thank. When the Olympics roll around they’ll put him in a brightly colored unitard for weight lifting, speedos for swimming events, put him in riding boots & duct tape him atop a pony for equestrian sports, and dress him in sequined tights for ice skating.

I, for one, am thankful that other world leaders don’t get into a sport uniform to associate themselves with other people’s success. Imagine Angela Merkel or Gerhard Schröder squeezing into a short tennis skirt and putting photos of themselves on billboards because a German won a women’s tennis championship.

It is amazing (but not surprising) that a government had thought that it had nothing better to spend money on than a suck-up billboard when sending him (if a toady felt compelled to be sycophantic) a thank you card would have been less expensive and Chavez would have been more likely to see it.

I think this image was found years ago at Devil’s Excrement.

In previous pre-taxidermied Hugo Chavez news : Hugo Chavez thinks he is Obi Wan Kenobi.

So which one?

Which Republican presidential nominee?

Having just spent an hour or so watching the New Hampshire GOP Republican debate, having gleaned various tidbits over the internet since a while back, I can honestly say I don’t know.

Yet.

In comments at that link, Ron Paul’s supporters come across as a tad too fervent, as does Paul himself. He just comes across as a bit whiney. Quick to complain about a problem but a bit wishy washy with any solutions.

Romney arguably won, but he comes off as Obama-lite+religion. He’s big government but I will say he’s tending to own his opponents. He does look presidential and has the establishment’s backing… not necessarily a good thing when up against Obama who REALLY has the Establishment’s backing and REALLY (at least) talks presidential (except here where he sounds about as formidable as Julia Gillard).

Call Chavez a dictator and Sean Penn will have you thrown in jail

It’s the tolerance of the Left I most admire.

Hugo Chavez thinks he’s Obi Wan Kenobi

(watch it here)
Hugo Chavez, leader of a country with electrical shortages, rationing and blackouts, is at a press conference at the presidential palace and the power goes off.  Somewhat surprisingly, he doesn’t puff out his chest and yell and scream about how it was all George W. Bush’s fault or blame the CIA. He just passively sits in the dark until the lights come back on.

After the power comes back, he does an Obi Wan Kenobi Jedi mind trick hand wave as he declares :

“There was no power outage. Nor was there any electrical malfunction”

via DevilsExcrement.com

Poison to the human soul subsidy

Here is a short article on Hugo Chavez’s socialist car to free Venezuelans from the “yoke of capitalism.”

The factory was opened with great fanfare by the president three years ago. It is a joint venture between Iran and Venezuela, which Mr Chávez predicts will turn his country into a car exporter. It is also intended to be an example of socialist production principles, although its workers see things a little differently.

In December they downed tools over the company’s refusal to negotiate a collective contract. Their wages, even at the grossly overvalued official exchange rate, are worth around $25 a day. They complained of poor safety conditions and exploitative work practices. Their supposedly socialist employer refuses to recognise trade unions and has ignored the labour ministry’s order to reinstate sacked union activists.

Venirauto’s cars are rehashes of clapped-out 1980s models from the imperialist West. The Turpial, a five-door hatchback, is based on the Ford Festiva, while the Centauro saloon is a clone of the Peugeot 405, though both are fitted with a conversion kit allowing them to run on natural gas. Their capitalist-busting claims are based on price: they undercut rival models by around 50%. If you can get one, that is.

The plant has a production capacity of 25,000 vehicles a year, but is struggling (even by official admission) to produce 10,000. There is no dealer network, and no credit facilities are offered—unless Mr Chávez personally orders a batch of cars for some favoured group of public employees.
…
When not praising the Turpial and the Centauro, Mr Chávez has been known to rail against the whole concept of car ownership. “The urge to get a car,” he told students on one occasion, “is poison to the human soul”. With that, he got into his limousine and rode off.

Ahmadinejad, Chaves “together to the end”

One can only hope, when it comes to them, it’s soon.

Obama warms relationship with Chavez

Yep. Diplomatic ties are set to be reinstated.

Meanwhile, in Venezuela itself…

And all the while, he, er, talks tough on Iran.

H/T Paco

PS Maybe someone should tell the dickheads they’ve spray-painted Buddhist swastika’s on the Jewish governor’s house.

Coke zeroed

Venezuela has banned the sale of the calorie-free Coke Zero, calling it harmful to people’s well-being.

But of course, Chavez doesn’t say how. If one eats or drinks nothing but? Did he switch, yet laments that six months later he’s still a disgusting fat body?

If he’d just said because it tastes like utter crap, then we’d all understand.

Does Obama drink it? Is Chavez pulling a Kim Jong Il?

Gang of no appearance?

Gang ransacks oldest Venezuelan synagogue

A gang of armed men has broken into the oldest synagogue in the Venezuelan capital Caracas and ransacked the building.

About 15 men tied up security guards and occupied the synagogue for five hours, desecrating scriptures and daubing slogans on the walls.

 

Hmm got me stumped who it could have been, maybe a bunch of Millitant Mormons, Savage Salvation Army troops or even Bloodthirsty Bhuddists.

McCain’s Perfect Choice for a Running Mate: Governor Sarah Palin

While most of the pedantic, two-dimensional, inside-the-box-thinking, conservative political hacks are touting Tom Ridge for the slot (Not a bad guy, but…), David Freddoso notes a far superior choice has been proposed: The Republican Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin.

I believe this is a truly inspired idea. Gov. Palin ran as an anti-corruption outsider, and handily defeated a corrupt and entrenched Republican political machine. Plus, at 44, she would almost totally wipe the “age issue” McCain has off the slate, and since Obama is only two years her senior, there is no way they could attack her for her youth and inexperience: She has much more executive experience than Senator Obama has.

Not to mention the fact that, she’s a gorgeous woman who exudes mass quantities of charisma…

and has a super-solid family life.

Dibs on the eldest daughter! LOL!

This inspired choice would allow McCain to actually capitalize on his “maverick” persona, as Gov. Palin shook Alaska politics to the core: She’s a charming, charismatic woman, but she can also play with the big boys and kick ass.

What say ye?

UPDATE: Things are looking optimistic!

UPDATE II: Welcome to all 4500 8000 40,000 in the past few hours (so far!) people visiting us from Google. We’re a fairly opinionated right-wing blog, and you might like to take a look at our “About” page. You might also be interested in our other coverage of Sarah Palin and whether she becomes a prospective Vice President of the United States. You can find this coverage here and here. Personally, I hope she does, but you can feel free to debate the idea in comments below. All first comments are moderated, but unless you either insult or use severe profanity (and I mean severe by my standards, which generally only means the C U Next Tuesday word or the implication that someone has had a rather enjoyable erotic experience with someone who has borne a child), however if you come up with a new one, I may simply delete your comment. I, and all other contributors to this blog are more than fair in what we permit.

UPDATE III: Nayr Drahcir, don’t bother even trying. You will not be published.

UPDATE IV: A lot of people must like Palin.

UPDATE V: More coverage of Governor Sarah Palin and a theme song here.

UPDATE VI: Funniest observation on the announcement yet: “Put Obama and Palin on a basketball court one on one. Winner takes all!”

UPDATE VII: [spot_the_dog] No, we do not have any pictures of “Sarah Palin + Naked,” nor do we have any of “Sarah Palin + Swimsuit.” In the past 24 hours, there have been 157 separate searches on this site for “Sarah Palin Swimsuit,” and 161 separate searches for “Sarah Palin Naked.” I repeat, we have no bathing suit, swim suit, bikini, or naked pictures of Sarah Palin. What kind of people do you think we are, anyway? 😉

UPDATE VIIa: [spot_the_dog] Ace has noticed a similar search phenomenon on his blog and has a theory…

UPDATE VIII: A well-rounded view of the selection of Sarah Palin for the Vice President Nomination can be found here.

UPDATE IX:  We got it!  YES!  Nude photo of Sarah Palin right here!  (C’mon.  You know you want to click.)

UPDATE X: Feel free to visit our main page and read the latest posts we’ve written.

Chummy comrades

Chavez and Putin, er sorry, Medvedev are being pesky little buggers again. In what appears to be a bit of an on-going hissy fit at Bush for helping the Georgians out, they’ll be teaming up for military exercises in about, er, now.

This goes along with a new energy deal between the former communist country and the country working so hard to become communist. Yep, Chavez is having another crack at becoming prez for life.

Everything you ever wanted to know…

Could this be the. best. link. ever?

Tons of info on AGW, climate change, energy reserves, Al Gore, polar bears and the like.

It’s not porn but it’s pretty darn good. I’m barred up.

38 People in Venezuela Die After Being Bitten by Vampire Bats

Fox News

CARACAS, Venezuela — At least 38 Warao Indians have died in remote villages in Venezuela, and medical experts suspect an outbreak of rabies spread by bites from vampire bats.

Feel terrible about these people dying. I believe it is time, for the Great Hugho, to visit said area and commiserate, with his people.

Super Burning Hot Pants!

For those 6 to 8 year old males who are rich enough to watch morning TV in Venezuela.

Chavez

Every now and then, the media graces me with an article that I first think is spoof, so I laugh because it’s funny, then I find out it’s actually a real article, and I feel mildly ill. This is one such article.

Highlights:

• The US Government is genocidal.
• President George W Bush is completely crazy.
• The most stylish world leader is Fidel Castro.
• Naomi Campbell thinks Chavez would be a successful Latin singer if he wasn’t the President of Venezuela.

The only plus for Chavez is that he thinks Princess Diana was more attractive than Camilla Parker-Bowles. But even that just means his eyesight works.