Stupid AFL Suggestion

Ok, here’s the back story. The Australian Football League wants another two teams in the league to bring in more revenue and generate more support for the game, which is for the most part, based in Victoria with ten Victorian-based teams, two in WA, two in SA, one in Sydney, and one in Brisbane.

The interstate teams (WA, SA, NSW, QLD) have always had their successes on the field, and all teams involved have had some great talent. So Andrew Demetriou, the head of the AFL, is entertaining a proposal for a new team based in Sydney’s Western suburbs.

Now, this is amongst the stupidest ideas I’ve ever read. Demetriou is considering having a faith-based team. Yep, he wants to launch an Irish-based team, which would mostly consist of Protestants.

The problems I see with the proposal are these:

  1. Where does one find some Irish Protestants in Sydney’s western suburbs? It’s an area with a lot of people who believe in God, certainly, but they’re sure not Protestants.
  2. AFL is very much an equalized game. You leave your religion/politics/family heritage/whatever off the ground. On the ground, you play for your team. This idea would mean that now you bring those things onto the ground. Old rivalries will be brought back into the game, and those rivalries are stronger than Everyone vs Collingwood (as hard as that is to believe)…
  3. It sets a precedent. What can the AFL then do if there’s a team of Irish-Catholics who want to play, and then a team of Roman-Catholics, and then a team of Buddhists, a team of Muslims, a team of Pagans and so on down the line? If they’ve got the requisite number of players and the start-up cash, the AFL would have a lot of trouble saying no. Then it turns into a religious game.
  4. Australians don’t much care about other people’s religions, unless they’re attempting to kill us or force them on us. By turning the AFL into something faith-based, they’re ensuring that it makes it harder for the non-religious to give a crap about the game. And for many, their football team is their religion.

Enough is enough Demetriou. You’ve tried to push the “Super-Goal” idea and it failed. You’ve tried to overhaul the AFL Tribunal, and it’s failed for the most part. You’ve tried to discourage drugs from the game, but in paying 21-28 year olds well over $200,000 a year you’ve made that hard because what else are they going to spend their dough on?

But this, this is your stupidest idea yet, and I hope it backfires on you spectacularly. I do hope the HREOC (Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission) gets involved, because that would raise this from a farce to a comedy.

UPDATE: Further details have come to light, and the team will not be made up of Irish descendants currently playing AFL in Sydney’s western suburbs. It will be made up of a team of Irish players being brought in from Ireland to boost the game’s international appeal. That puts this in a very different light.

We Are The Navy Blues

Winning against Port Adelaide in the AFL, when at the start of the fourth quarter we were 30 points down to win by 12 at the end, that’s even better than beating Collingwood.

Even if we did have to seriously injure one of their players to do it. I do hope he recovers.

And Scotland looked absolutely sensational tonight.

UPDATE: Injured player is Paul Stewart. Best of luck to him, it was a head injury after all.

What A Cowardly Hit

Barry Hall hits Brent Staker in the Australian Football League game, West Coast Eagles v Sydney Swans.

Hall is up before the game Tribunal tonight. Speculation suggests he’ll get between 6 weeks and 12 weeks suspension from the game.

UPDATE: Hall got a seven week suspension.

AFL: West Coke Eagles v Sydney Swans

First Quarter:

The Eagles are just entering the ground now, but they look very nice tonight. The game is being played at ANZ Stadium in Homebush, Sydney, one of the sites used at the 2000 Sydney Olympics.

The ball is being handled by both teams, and I think from the performance of both teams so far, that the coaches have matched up their players well. This has the potential to be an excellent game.

A Coke Eagle has lined up and… kicks a behind for a point. Score 0.1.01 to 0.0.00, in favour of the Eagles.

Sydney evens up the score by kicking a behind for themselves. Game even at 0.1.01 to both teams.

There’s some very good contests tonight, with Sydney quite aware of what they’re doing, but also stacking on the Coke Eagles.

A Swan neatly lines up and boots a goal straight through the Kick-Sticks, scoring a goal for Sydney. 0.1.01 WCE to 1.1.07 SYD.

The ball travels down the field, and on the boundary there’s a dispute and a tackle and a Plastic Swan drags a Plastic Eagle to the ground, making him look like a complete Plastic Turkey, and no doubt he’ll be reported to the AFL Tribunal and get a two week suspension.

There’s 11 minutes left in the quarter, and if I was the type to make judgments this early in the game, I’d call it for Sydney.

The Eagles have the ball, but Sydney are looking quite vicious tonight, sliding into Coke Eagles. I’d wager that the grass is quite wet and they can’t help it. Sydney take the ball and start looking for someone to kick to. Sydney kick it to the center of the ground, where it’s taken by another of their players, and… GOOOOOOAL! Score now 2.1.13 to the West Coke Eagles 0.1.01.

Sydney Swan Barry Hall is awarded a free kick, and lines up right in front of the Kick-Sticks and boots it through for another goal to Sydney, making the score now 3.1.19 to 0.1.01. It’s looking very good for Sydney, although it’s very, very early in the game.

Sydney is awarded a free kick from 45 metres out from the goal, and kick it through nicely for another goal. It’s looking very good for Sydney. 4.1.25 to 0.1.01. The West Coast Eagles will get a pretty good talking to in six and a half minutes, when the quarter ends.

A West Coast Eagle gets the goal on a side boundary and kicks it for a behind. Score 4.1.25 SYD to 0.2.02 WCE.

Barry Hall (SYD) has a dispute with an Eagle, because the Eagle asked him to watch for his neck which Hall accidentally backhanded him, Hall doesn’t like it and fuckin’ decks him, which has put the Eagle off the ground, another Eagle comes in at Hall, and Hall’s definitely going to be out for five or six rounds.

The Eagle will now be out until quarter time at least.

And the game goes on.

The Eagles get their talons on the ball, and pass it around with some nifty little kicks and swoop it through the goals, for their first goal of the game. Score now 4.1.25 to 1.2.08.

Barry Hall gets his hands on the ball, gets a very, very, very loud boo, and boots it through for a behind, but receives almost no cheers. Score now 4.2.26 to 1.2.08.

After the siren, there’s some shoving between an Eagle and Bazza Hall. This could be fun!

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Email Sent

Wished Response:

Dear Asshole,

Re: the file attachment you sent me.

Fuck. You!

Yours Faithfully,


Real Response:

Dear Asshole,

Re: the file attachment you sent to me

I note that Collingwood’s outstanding success since the 1990 Grand Final has allowed for them to attain the knowledge that their supporters cannot actually afford club memberships. Or dental work.

Yours Faithfully,


Carlton Memberships

AFL: Carlton Blues v St Kilda Saints

First Quarter:

The first quarter is off to a good start with the Blues kicking three goals and two behinds to the Saints’ one behind.

Score: Carlton 3.2.20 to Saints 0.1.01.

Another behind to the Saints brings the score to 3.2.20 to 0.2.02.

Random Fact: I don’t like the white uniforms the Blues are in tonight. Put them back in the navy! Can’t be the ‘navy blues’ if you’re in white, boys.

Carlton kick a behind, bringing them to 3.3.21 to the Saints’ 0.2.02.

Random Fact: Scotland looks good tonight.

The Saints just kicked a behind which was so far to the left that it almost wasn’t worth any points. C 3.3.21 to S 0.3.03.

And yet another behind to the Saints; they’re going to be slightly annoyed that these aren’t goals. C 3.3.21 to S 0.4.04.

Carlton are handling the ball well, and working nicely as a team. They kicked a beautiful little behind. Score C 3.4.22 to S 0.4.04.

St Kilda belts through a behind, bringing the score up to C 3.4.22 to S 0.5.05.

Question: How Long Until Carlton Fucks This Up?

A free kick has just been awarded to Brendan Fevola (C), much to the disgust of the Saints and the TV commentators. Personally, I see their point. Especially since it scored Carlton a goal! Score 4.4.28 to S 0.5.05.

Three minutes left in the quarter, and 23 points in the game.

Scotland is looking really good tonight.

Fraser Gehrig (S) is now on the grass. This could make things interesting.

And yes, it has, because mere moments after coming on grass, he kicks a goal. Grrr!

Score 4.4.28 to 1.5.11, in Carlton’s favour.

Two minutes in the quarter.

Carlton are looking pretty relaxed, although they have to deal with the Saints having all their boys on the field.

The Saints kick a siren goal, bringing the score to C 4.4.28 to 2.5.17. There’s not much in it…

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