Launching My New Conspiracy Theory

I don’t usually engage in conspiracy theories (Troofers, anyone?) but this one is different. My Conspiracy, hereby known as The Drinks Scam Conspiracy, is so ridiculous that if anyone believes it, I will laugh my ass off and mock them for as long as I live.

The Drinks Scam Conspiracy is based on a simple premise: some people will buy absolutely anything. So allow me to now detail the Conspiracy for you.

We all know that Global Warming/Climate Change is real and must be fought immediately, and therefore, for a reason that makes absolutely no sense, we have to get rid of the carbon.

Many alcohols are filtered through carbon to remove impurities and unwanted flavours and other assorted things, so it naturally follows that we need to remove the carbon from the alcohol brewing process. Our superiors (ie, Those Who Believe) therefore believe that in order to fight Global Warming, we need to have either beer that tastes like piss, or go without a wide range of drinks, because from memory, beer, wine, vodka, bourbon and Southern Comfort are all carbon-filtered.

This got me thinking about Dear Leader Kevin’s alcopops tax. Since Dear Leader’s alcopops tax was introduced to “curb teenage binge drinking”, we can safely assume that this tax is for the good of the children, and that alcohol is always bad. So it naturally follows that since alcohol is bad, alcohol that is carbon filtered is extra bad. So we’re taught about the evils of carbon, starting as early as the age of five.

We’re through the looking glass here people…

Global Warming was invented to curb drinking!

Later kiddies, I’m off to Skiddy’s (HEY, it rhymes) A Mick Ba…ummm

Tavern World Renown IRISH Drinking Emporium.

Me and a Mick…Jesus H. Christ!

In Another Absolut World…

Further to this post by Angus Dei, the folks at The People’s Cube have been having some Absolut fun lately…

Absolut Texas

In An Absolut World,Texas would still be a republic, and would include half of New Mexico, the panhandle of Oklahoma, 1/3 of Colorado, and part of Wyoming.

Of course, Absolut said they were sorry. No apology necessary: The Muslims will own Sweden soon enough.

Crawling Commando-Style Through The Internet

TimT, the only blogger who Will Type For Food, plays the Out of Context Game.

Surprise, surprise, the Clintons are loaded. Quell jealousy, but at the end of the day, they still have to put up with each other.

Michelle Malkin looks at the notion of taxing plastic and paper bags.

Gateway Pundit reports on a rather hilarious event at a Hillary campaign event.

BASTARDS! ABSOLUTE BASTARDS!

Pregnant man transsexual fears that people will attempt to kill his baby. There’s only one group of people I know of who are sick enough to harm a baby…

What the hell is a “low emission paint”.

The neverending struggle between Good and Evil continues. Angus will really like this.

Bob Ellis gets mocked.

And finally,

OHMIGOD! WILL YOU LOOK AT HEATH SCOTLAND’S BICEPS?!

The Morning After…..Good Morning, Fools…:)

This bright enough for you poor bastards that are hungover? You know, dry mouth, teeth itch, stomach kinda’ screwed, maybe even spent some of the early morning hours, in the crapper.

Well take heart. Whilst I didn’t have but a few Southern Comforts, I know, as you should, that WE will feel better over the course of the day.

Those that didn’t participate in some or any kind of festivities, are feeling as good right now, as they are going to. Poor damn people…..:)

Ummm, I or someone can, WE will post when our eyes can focus a tad better, cause right now, every damn thing I see, varies in color.

It is quite possible you may not be able to read this at all. Should this persist longer then half the day, do have someone dial up an eye Doc for you tomorrow. Elsewise live with it until all is clear. You did it, now deal with it!

OH and hopefully you weren’t damn stupid enough to drive last evening or in the early morning hours to get anyone killed, including yourself….BUT if you did, you couldn’t read this any damn way. And if that be true,

I hope they toss the friggin’ book at you!

The History of Egg Nog

You know, there’s nothing quite like Egg Nog. (well, with an additive)….But even for those who don’t partake in “additives”, there is a lovely essence about it. Typical “additive” is rum..I like mine with 100 proof Southern Comfort

Should you want…click on Southern Comfort they have the history behind it AND a great interactive recipe book, that one may download.

In the meantime, back to my wonderful Comfort Egg Nog …OH and Merry Christmas to all.

Egg Nog

Man sickened chugging vodka at airport

Sickened? The damn fool nearly died!

BERLIN – A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing a liter (two pints) of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new carry-on rules, police said Wednesday.

Yahoo

Next time you dipshit, try one of these  A.M.F.

That should do it, sport.