The Five Stages Of Obama Worship


Stage One

Feeling not only an admiration and respect for the man, but then starting to defend him in every argument, whether what you’re saying is true or not.

Stage Two

A small donation to the campaign is made, and a bumper sticker is bought and affixed to the bumper of your car with a small sense of pride.

Stage Three

A decision is made to pump more money into the Obama campaign, because he genuinely seems like a nice guy, so you buy a t-shirt, a few more bumper stickers, put a sign in your yard and talk him up to family, friends, co-workers and neighbours.

Stage Four

You read about Camp Obama, the chance to learn about the man and his propaganpolicies, and you leap at the chance. You learn about the Democratic Party’s policies and start spreading the news to all of your friends, family members, co-workers, neighbours, random people in the street and school children. If you’re already a teacher, you form a choir out of innocent children.

Stage Five

Now that you’re a trained Camp Obama Counsellor, you also get brought into the inner folds of the Obama Campaign. This means that you’re now qualified to not only spread the good news about Obama, but also criticise any Republican Party members, spread lies about their family, claim to have previously voted Republican but now see the light, and participate in the AstroTurf Campaign. Reaching Stage Five means that you’ll also be widely mocked, derided and deleted for using fake names and email addresses.

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