So it went down like this


Believe it not but I’m pretty connected, and as such was having a chat with Gemma Arterton about what she thinks about Sarah Palin running for president.

Gemma was nude but for an Australian flag wrapped around her lithe bod and a low fat vegan rye bread sandwich in her hand.

But that’s what you get a few minutes after someone like the bingster pulls up to the lights in his Peugot 907, sees her having a giggle with Danica Patrick, and invites her (er, Gemma) for a ride having promised she could pat my pet koala army.

Anyway, believe it or not, knowing I wasn’t playing funny dogs, she just went harpy eagle over her disdain for Michelle Obama. Said she loved the Obama Countdown Clock!

Even though my hand was begging to be a Brazilian Wandering Spider, I figured doing a Steve Urkel just for a bit would get her puffin a lot more in the long run… so long as that weird prick didn’t do some goatse crap or anything like that.

Sure, I’m a bit of an Australian spider, but I needed her to think I was more like Neil fucking Armstrong from the Apollo 11 rather than anything else.

Anyway, managed to swing it, and as it turns out, the liberal Gemma is quite the fan of the idea of “Sarah Palin bikini”.

I guess with a figure like that, and seated next to a Right dork replete in his mankini, one can’t exactly drool-think “donuts”.

Fair enough.

And Gemma thought the same.

Within minutes she was on the phone to Danica Patrick AND Mieke Buchan AND Kristiana Loken, and well folks, I was at the supermarket (and one that still has checkout chicks btw… like IGA) of beautiful women!

And it would have been a beautiful ending right there, but then Ann Coulter called. Whipped me right into line.

Oh, God! The shame!

How could a wholesome Righty even THINK such things?!?!?

Metaphorically, I was bound and gagged.

My lawyers have advised me to repeat: “metaphorically”.

What were you looking for?


What are you looking for?

Recent search terms which have led people to this blog

gemma arterton, australian flag, goatse, ann coulter, australia map, mankini, australia, iga, danica patrick, michelle obama, puffin, army, apollo 11, brazilian wandering spider, steve urkel, sandwich, kristanna loken, peugeot 907, australian spider, mieke buchan, obama countdown clock, koala, dogs, funny dogs, harpy eagle.

All someone needs to do now is compose a post which includes all of those terms, with maybe a “sarah palin nude” &/or “palin bikini” (two close runners-up) thrown in for added sparkle, and we’ll have the dream post everyone’s looking for.

Anyone game?

Photo & Video: “Here you go, Mate” — Hope From the Ashes


From the Melbourne Herald Sun:

Russell Vickery

CFA volunteer David Tree helps a distressed koala in burnt-out forest at Mirboo North. Pic: Russell Vickery

UPDATE : Please send your message of support to the fire crews battling the bushfires here – at the moment there are 2108 messages – please add yours!  And go here or here to find out how you can help.

UPDATE #2: The Australian Bushfires: An Ongoing News & Comment Round-Up

UPDATE: #3:   By popular request,  “How You Can Help – Animal Edition” – what you can do to help those like Sam the Koala!

UPDATE #4:  See here for Update on Sam the Koala, Bushfire Survivor with more photos and video, and indepth follow-up story.  Sam is in good hands now and doing well.

UPDATE #5: The Southern Ash Wildlife Shelter which is now caring for Sam and other koalas that were burnt on 7 February 2009 now have a website with more great photos of and information about Sam the Koala, and they’ll be keeping it updated.  They are also, of course, looking for help in caring for her and the many other animals they’ve taken in.   http://www.samthekoala.com.au/

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