Will TSSA parody become illegal?


The other day I was perusing Ye Olde Journalist (a fine blog to which I am a contributor) and came across this item. It seems that the tools from TSSA (two S’s, because you can’t spell Schutzstaffel without the second S) take umbrage with the near constant abuse they have to endure at the hands of those they serve grope. H.R. 3011 would criminalize ANY unauthorized use of the TSSA name, logos, and such. It makes no distinction between use of said items in an attempt to falsely pass as a TSSA agent and the use of said items for parody purposes, such as the pictures contained in this post (click on image to display full size).

It seems to me that the TSSA is being rather thin-skinned and petty.This is, of course, exactly the kind of reaction one would expect from a federal agency with TSSA’s reputation.

If the TSSA wishes to make use of its names and logos illegal, then by all means we have to get as much out there as we can before it becomes a crime.

The following soon-to-be-illegal uses of the TSSA name are courtesy of about.com.

“Have you heard the TSA’s new slogan? ‘We handle more junk than eBay.’” -Jay Leno

“TSA says they are going to crack down on the invasive pat-downs. In fact, one agent was transferred to another parish.” –David Letterman

“This year marks the first Thanksgiving in which travelers will get molested before they get to their uncle’s house.” -Seth Meyers

“Now, to make it worse, the airlines are charging a $15 molestation fee.” –Jay Leno

“I get more action going through airline security than I did all through high school.” –Jimmy Kimmel

Okay, you get the picture. No need to belabor the issue any further.

There is no excuse for the excesses of TSSA. Having only recently returned from a trip via flying bus to Arizona to see my parents and brother, I can tell you that being herded about like cattle, stripped of your dignity, and either junk scanned or gate raped by a civil servant, is NOT what our founding fathers had in mind. The next time some tool tries to tell you that the terrorists hate us for our freedoms, take them to the airport and show them what totalitarianism looks like.

Just don’t abuse the TSSA name or logo while you’re at it.

Weiner Pulls Out


It’s the end of an error. Weiner’s out.


Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) will resign from his seat in Congress, heeding calls from President Barack Obama, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and dozens of other congressional Democrats, sources confirm to POLITICO. The resignation ends nearly three weeks of tumultuous political controversy since the New York congressman sent a lewd picture of himself over Twitter which he claimed at first was a result of a hack, and later admitted he had sent himself.

Weiner is expected to make his resignation official in a statement to the press at a senior center in Brooklyn at 2 pm.


Weiner pulled out at senior center? Think of the poor old women!

The schadenfreude has been beyond blissful. A creepy libtard is caught flashing his namesake. Caught lying about it. Accused of asking a former prØn star to lie for him.

There’s the name. The jokes. The throngs laughing in his face.

Good bye, Weiner. At Tizona, we prefer Bush.

Congressman(‘s) Weiner


Weiner awardSome guys just never learn. Sean Salisbury. Brett Favre. And now aptly-named Congress-critter Anthony “wanna see my” Weiner.


Our debt ceiling is yet to be raised as the healthcare debate looms large, yet the most important political news of the moment revolves around a Brooklyn representative’s penis.


As Weiner himself noted, “The jokes write themselves.”

I thought Weiner was a little stiff at his news converence.

What’s the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? About 6 inches.

An inch more he’d be a king; an inch less he’d be a queen.

The police investigated whether a penis picture was displayed. The case was thrown out due to lack of evidence.

(Insert the “wiener” joke of your choice here)

Self Defence: Are You a Democrat or a Republican?


Are you a Democrat or a Republican?  Here’s a little test to help you decide:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.  Suddenly, a man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.  You are carrying a Glock .40 cal, and you are an expert shot.  You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!  Does the man look poor?  Or oppressed?  Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?  Could we run away?  What does my wife think?  What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?  What does the law say about this situation?  Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?  Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?  Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?  If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?  Should I call 9-1-1?  Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!  I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer

BANG! BANG!

Extra Credit: Southern Republican’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click…..(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silvertips or Federal Hydra-Shoks?”

via Paco in comments here

UPDATE:  A typical rational Australian Lefty replies –

Children writing about the ocean: Courtesy, a friend.


  1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly, age 6 )
  2. Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6 )
  3. If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne, age 7 )
  4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6 )
  5. A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8 )
  6. My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6 )
  7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7 )
  8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6 )
  9. I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 6 )
  10. Some fish are dangerous.. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7 )
  11. When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6 )
  12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8 )
  13. On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7 )
  14. The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6 )
  15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7 )
Posted in Funny. Tags: , . 3 Comments »

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race come about?” Courtesy, a friend.


The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children; and so all mankind was made.”

Two days later she asks her father the same question.

Her father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys and we developed from them.”

The confused girl returns to her mother and says: “Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God, and Dad says we developed from monkeys?”

The mother answers, “Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side.”

Posted in Funny. Tags: . 3 Comments »

After a short stay in the USA , Michaelangelo’s David returned to Europe. Courtesy a friend..


UPDATE (Angus Dei): After a brief stint on the new Celebrity McDonald’s Diet, David was back to form.

David McDonald

Posted in Art, Funny. Tags: , , . 6 Comments »
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