Even if you’re not Scottish?
Unless you happen to be of Scots descent, you may have missed the vast sound of wailing and lamentation on Friday. That was the annual wailing of the haggis, or what some people call “Burns Night.” Now the annual celebration of the birth of Robert Burns has been going on for many years but the wailing about the haggis began in 1971. That’s when the USDA banned the use of sheep lungs in food.
Thousands of Americans had to make do without the real thing Friday night when they sat down to what should have been a filling meal of boiled sheep’s stomach stuffed with minced sheep lung, heart, liver and oatmeal.
Jan. 25 was the 248th anniversary of the birth of Scottish poet Robert Burns. (He wrote Auld Lang Syne, among other things.)
It’s also the high holy day of haggis-eating worldwide. Thousands of “Burns Night” dinners are held wherever people of Scottish ancestry have landed. These evenings of food, whiskey and song traditionally reach their high point with the ceremonial carrying in of the haggis — preceded by a recitation of Burns’ Ode to a Haggis and a bagpiper, if at all possible.
But American lovers of Burns and all things Scottish have had to make do with home-grown approximations for more than 30 years. True Scottish haggis, sheep lungs and all, hasn’t been legal to import since 1971, when the U.S. Department of Agriculture banned the use of lungs in food.
Apparently, sheep lungs are unsanitary. Or, possibly, all lungs are unsanitary, although I remember my grandmother telling me about that grand old Appalachian ingredient known as “lights”. And is sheep stomach that different from the pig intestines used for sausage stuffing?
Now you know why all Scots cuisine has the reputation of being based on a dare. But fear not, haggis lovers! USA Today reports that help is on the way!
Until then, they’ll have to settle for other versions that are available in the USA. Some butchers make haggis, especially around Burns Night. And the folks at Caledonian Kitchen, a producer of all things Celtic in Lewisville, Texas, are “up to our eyeballs in haggis right now,” says manager Jason Summerlin.
The company makes a popular canned haggis. But for this year’s Burns Night, it sold 2,000 pounds of haggis in the past three weeks, says owner Jim Walters. Their frozen, 8-pound “presentation haggis” runs $85 plus up to $55 for shipping.
But it’s not quite the real thing. Attuned to American tastes, the haggis is stuffed with 100% USDA Choice sirloin beef and beef liver, along with oats and beef suet. The closest they come to a “warm-reekin’ rich” haggis, to use Burns’ words, is a do-it-yourself haggis stuffing kit — cans of lamb haggis, a casing and instructions on how to steam it yourself. No lungs, though.
Can it truly be called haggis without lungs? Or the sheep stomach to put it in? Never fear, Blue Crab Boulevard have a solution to this canned, counterfeit abomination!
…gamma radiation! If the haggis is irradiated, it won’t matter what’s in it! Now, some people will be frightened by the thought of a giant, glowing, radioactive haggis loping about the banquet room in search of a victim. But if enough good Scots whisky is applied beforehand, nobody will notice! Or they’ll blame the whisky.
I’d need to drink a whole one of those oak barrels of whisky to even enter a room where there’s haggis.
Here’s a story to make you feel good. See, there are some honest people in the world after all! And it even involves a new Australian!
h/t to the inestimable Dr. Helen.
With Australia’s former Prime Minister John Howard being showered in awards and commendations in the USA and being the hot new star on the world speakers’ circuit, while Australia’s new Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is mainly known in America via the Parliamentary “Ear Booger Eating” incident highlighted on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno**, another newly-elected member of the Rudd Government is busy embarrassing us — and himself — in America. America, meet Labor Foreign Minister Stephen Smith.
As David Nason writes in an editorial in The Australian, “G’Day party politics, goodbye US investors:”
THE G’Day USA week in New York has come and gone for another year but don’t expect Foreign Minister Stephen Smith to be invited back anytime soon.
Smith left many trade officials and expat business leaders fuming when he talked down Australia at a high-powered investment lunch on Friday at the Waldorf Astoria.
It wasn’t a deliberate low-blow of course. More a case of a new kid on the block failing to understand that everyone is supposed to bat for the same team when it comes to promoting Australia overseas, and that partisan politics should stay at home.
Smith was clearly oblivious to these rules when, in giving a welcome to everyone present, he started railing against the economic legacy of the former Howard government, telling the 200-plus crowd the new Kevin Rudd Government had inherited an Australia with inflation troubles, a skills shortage and inadequate infrastructure.
Labor’s task, he said, was to “remove the restraints in our systems”. In case anyone was confused about what he meant, Smith reminded them by repeating his references to Australia’s lack of skilled labour and lack of appropriate infrastructure.
The investors who had come along to hear a panel discussion about the merits of putting money into Australia must have wondered why they had been invited.
Even allowing for the fact that Smith, like all ministers, has political opponents ready to exploit anything that might sound like an endorsement of the Howard-Costello era, it was nothing short of inept to go the other way and effectively warn off potential investors.
It made Smith’s closing remarks – he expressed hope that investors would see Australia as a good place for overseas capital investment – utterly laughable.
Bloody amazing. Is “our” Mr. Smith aware of the fact that even as he uses his first appearance in America to take cheap pot-shots at former Prime Minister John Howard, the very same America is right now showering accolades on and paying honour to that very same ALP-maligned John Howard?
Is Smith trying to say, “Hey America, you’re stupid!“? America, England and Europe all recognise that John Howard brought Australia well and truly into the global arena, creating unprecedented growth and prosperity. Now the new kid on the block goes to America and tells them that they’re wrong, and claims that John Howard actually created a disaster, “an Australia with inflation troubles, a skills shortage and inadequate infrastructure.”
Nice try, Labor, but I don’t think America’s going to buy it. And you may just have seen to it that they won’t buy much else from us either.
** UPDATE: The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, featuring the only thing Americans know about Kevin Rudd, here. (It’s mislabeled on the NBC site, but this is it)
** UPDATE #2: Because we can’t see enough of it, Obama picking his ear vs. Kevin eating his ear wax, here.
TheReno Police Department and the FBI are continuing to investigate the disappearance of Brianna Denison and the following information is being provided as part of a request for additional assistance:
“Evidence obtained from the scene of Brianna Denison’s disappearance included DNA genetic samples. After analysis by the Washoe County Crime Lab, a positive link has been established between this case and a Kidnap and Sexual Assault case that occurred at a nearby residence on December 16, 2007 @ 2:05 a.m. The victim in the December case was also the victim of a recent (1/19/08) attempted burglary at her residence in the 1400 block of N. Virginia St. On November 13, 2007 shortly after 5:00 p.m., an unknown suspect sexually attacked a UNR student who was walking to her home in the neighborhood. That case is also being investigated as being possibly connected to those already mentioned.”“Additionally, detectives have learned of new information relative to these three mentioned cases which is being distributed to the public. This information is relative to a possible suspect vehicle and a suspect description which are as follows: “ “• Suspect vehicle: Extended cab pick-up truck or SUV, dome light above the windshield, tall enough that it requires a step up to gain entry, floor-mounted console that was described as “fairly skinny” that opens in front, blue and red LED read-out on the radio, cloth seats, automatic transmission. There was a baby shoe on the front seat floor board. There were 8 ½” x 11” white pieces of paper with typing on the floor board of the front seat.”“• “Suspect: White male, approximately 28 – 40 years, long face with a square chin, taller than 5’6” but not excessively so, very strong but not with a significantly muscular build, a belly that was described as not excessively large and firm but not flabby, an “innie” belly button, shaved pubic region, a light covering of hair on his arms, no jewelry or a watch, facial hair about a quarter to a half an inch long below his chin and was soft and not prickly as stubble normally is, unknown if he had a mustache, brown head hair of undetermined style, normal speech with no accent or regional dialect, no smoker’s breath, no alcohol, no bad breath, no cologne or after-shave.”
“• Suspect clothing at the time of the Kidnap/Sexual assault: red (not maroon) short sleeve shirt described as being made of material similar in feel to a Fubu jersey-type shirt (silk/rayon/polyester type) with a medium blue-colored neckline, short printed (possibly embroidered) word on the upper left breast area, another shirt underneath with wrist-length sleeves, unknown color pants – regular length – not jeans. The pants reminded the victim of basketball pants as the material was smooth but they made no noise when he moved and they had an elastic waist band and no zipper.”Please continue reading..Case Summary and Other Details:
“Brianna Denison was last accounted for at approximately 4:30 a.m., on Sunday, January 20, 2008. It is believed that the suspect encountered her sometime thereafter, at a time when most people were asleep. Because the suspect was out at an odd hour, he may have fabricated a story regarding his activities during the early morning hours of January 20, 2008. The suspect may be a resident of the neighborhood immediately west of the University of Nevada campus and/or may have intimate knowledge of the area. For reference, the three crimes in question occurred on the following dates and times: November 13, 2007 – 5:40 p.m., December 16, 2007 – 2:00 a.m., January 19, 2008 4:00 a.m., and January 20, 2008 – 4:30 a.m. Because of the nature of the crimes, please note that the information, e.g., height or weight descriptions, might not be completely accurate. Any information, no matter how seemingly insignificant, should be brought to our attention, including abrupt and noticeable changes in the behavior of a person that could be considered a suspect. ““Genetic sampling (DNA) has been identified from the scene of Brianna’s disappearance and has been linked to the Kidnap/Sexual assault case as mentioned above. Additionally, the blood found on the pillow at the residence has been identified as belonging to Brianna. Her clothing at the time of her disappearance was described as a white tank top with pink angel wings with rhinestones on the back and word “Bindi” on the back. She was wearing pink sweats that had two distinctive brown stains on one leg.”
“People who know the suspect may not believe that he is capable of committing this type of crime and he may not necessary have a violent criminal history.”“With the above in mind, citizens are asked to contact authorities with any potentially useful information even if it seems unimportant to them or they think that someone else has already filed a similar report or the information does not completely fit with previously reported information or other details contained herein. It is important to note that because the DNA that has been collected is valid and conclusive, any person that is brought to our attention can be easily and unobtrusively eliminated or identified as a suspect.
Information can discreetly be provided via telephone to the Reno Police Department tip line @ 775-745-3521.
Via LiveLeak, a truly classy music video.
Click here to see what I’m talking about.
With Greenpeace, this could happen.
We Hate Everyone. We’re Having A Party. Come Join Us. Refreshments Served.
People We Hate With The Lords Passion. Repaint, ummm..Repent.
Fill In Blanks:
♣ Iraq’s Economy Surges! (Video Link)
♣ The Iraq Oil Ministry announced on Thursday that the levels of exported oil and revenues in 2007 rose by 9.2 compared to the previous year.
♣ Tourism is booming! “The religious cities of Karbala and Najaf are prospering once again due to the influx of wealthy Gulf Arab Shiites to their shrines.”
♣ 700,000 new jobs predicted– “The Iraqi government announced that it expects 700 thousand new jobs for the unemployed in this year.”
Oh dear. It’s okay, lefties and Bush Derangement Syndrome sufferers… Just keep chanting “Bush died, People died!,” consoling yourself with bought-and-paid-for-by-George-Soros “studies” like the Lancet Figures and the “Bush lied 300 million gazillion times” “independent” media study, and waffling on about “illegal invasions” and “Blood for Oil.”
While you’re doing that, the fearless and unselfish Yanks who have historically preserved for you the very right to be such offensive ill-informed ideological sooky-lala appeasement-monkeys will keep on takin’ care of business, putting terrorists out of work and bringing a peace and prosperity to Iraq that those folks could never even have dreamed of under Saddam.
Meanwhile, those of us civilian members of the VWRC had better steel ourselves for some BDS heads to ‘splode over the continuing good news coming out of Quagmire Central.
(links via Gateway Pundit)
NOTE: We have a lot of LOLterrorists; now we need some LOLappeasers… email them in if you have them and we’ll get them posted!
I’m thrilled to see that the US is going to keep former Australian Prime Minister John Howard busy.