Slap Corey!

Here’s the back story.

Down here in Melbourne, two trusting parents left their kid, with few friends to think of, to stay with his friend and his parents while Corey’s parents pissed off to went to Queensland for a holiday.

So Corey invited 500 of his closest friends to his house, and after a while, everyone got drunk, and property, such as the cars used by the 30 police in attendance, got trashed.

Corey claimed to have not been responsible, for the $20,000 worth of damage caused by the partygoers, merely because he wasn’t a supervising adult and couldn’t have been responsible for what people did in the street.

So I invite you, take this grand opportunity, to Slap Corey!

Update: Yeah, this kid is a real f***wit. Just remember, all allegations are unproven.

Update II: Blatant theft from Spot of this link and this link.

The Best Holiday of the Year

I defy any of you to watch this and not laugh. Good luck!

You’ve got better feet than me, Charlie Brown!

Blue Crab Boulevard tells a tale of horror and woe:

A terrified burglar ran like heck when confronted by the man who’s house he was attempting to rob. One can imagine why he ran like the wind, too. It isn’t often one is being chased down the road by an underwear and socks-clad man waving an ax handle in subfreezing weather.

Bear in mind this man lives in Colorado.

Sedillo says that he’s glad he wasn’t wearing a thong. Since the current temperature in Silt is running at about 20° F, he should be happy. He could have frozen something right off.

On the other hand, the story would have been even funnier than it already is.

Tizona, the Sword of El Cid, gives you … Squirrel Armor

Would a representative of PACO Enterprises and/or The VRWC like to explain, please?

More information and photos at the truly incredible Pitbull Armory.

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UPDATE: from VRWC Operation Desert Squirrel

…spot_the_dog

The Enema Within

Welp,The 2007 Darwin Awards are in, and – wouldn’t you know it – the winner is from my home state of Texas. Yay us!

“May 2004, Texas | Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor… well, rectally. His wife said he was “addicted to enemas” and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party.

Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. Toxicology reports measured his blood alcohol level as 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an “astounding misapplication of judgment.” Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.”

The runners-up are pretty funny as well, and there’s even an Aussie also-ran. Better luck next year, mates.

Warning for people at their workplaces…..

Microsoft is developing Big Brother-style software capable of remotely monitoring a worker’s productivity, physical well-being and competence.The Times has seen a patent application filed by the company for a computer system that links workers to their computers via wireless sensors that measure their metabolisms.

The system would allow managers to monitor employees’ performance by measuring their heart rates, body temperatures, movements, facial expressions and blood pressure.

Fox News

Keep this in mind, folks. Bill Gates and company are pretty tight with George Soros and company. You know, the Leftist “useful idiots” with money and power. Seems they want all rights, to be theirs and theirs only. They could give two shits about anyone else’s rights.

Jihad Pussy….Courtesy J.M. Heinrichs

Grouchy Old Cripple

Risk assessment watchdog set up to halt march of the nanny state….

Unnecessary warnings that bags of peanuts “may contain nuts” and overly protective rules banning conker fights in schools will be targeted by a new watchdog intended to restore Britain’s spirit of adventure.

Gordon Brown is so concerned that the cotton-wool culture is denying people the freedom to enjoy themselves that he has asked the watchdog to report to him personally.

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Good show, Mr. Brown. Finally, you sir, are concentrating on things of utmost importance. Not those silly ass things like Radical Islamists, Mosques being erected at record pace to indoctrinate, MORE radical Islamists.

Certainly “may contain nuts”, are of the highest order. Well done, Gordon. Sir Winston would have been so proud of you.

Times Online UK

Tom Cruise, on being a Scientologist. How about Tom Cruise being a God Damn Idiot? What Say Tom?

“Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it’s not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it because you know you’re the only one who can really help.”

Quick Note…

I’ve changed the links on the right hand sidebar over, so click around and enjoy.

Israel Kills Local Head of Islamic Jihad. Awwwww, Shit. What a God Damn Shame

(IsraelNN.com) IDF Special Forces killed the head of the Islamic Jihad terrorist group in Judea and Samaria Wednesday morning.

The top terrorist, Walid Abeidi, was hiding out in the village of Kabatiya, south of Jenin.

The IDF unit came to arrest Abeidi, but a shootout ensued as he and his men attempted to prevent the force from entering the hideout.

The 44-year-old terror chief ran out of the building at a certain point, opening fire on the soldiers, who returned fire. He was hit and died. No IDF injuries were reported.

Arutz Sheva

Just give me time to recover…from laughing.

Those Crazeee Fanilows.

This one’s via a mate of mine, and can I just say, when they gave the offshore rig pigs on a certain North West Shelf project unlimited internet access, I seriously doubt that riggers googling Barry Manilow was something they thought to filter for…

The money quote:

“The woman next to me held her arms up with religious zeal during “Weekend in New England.” As another hit began, the woman behind me declared, “I’m going crazy.”
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“And her husband, looking a little less enthusiastic, dutifully waved two glowsticks in the air. “

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And in related news (via same source!), if you make your dog wear this t-shirt, you deserve to get your throat torn out.

spot_the_dog

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Dear World. Australia’s really, really sorry.

Okay everyone. File on over to Jack Marx’s blog. Aussies, start memorising. Yanks and the rest of the world, please accept this global apology in the manner in which it is intended.

The Australian “Sorry” Prayer by Jack Marx

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Now… I’m off to try to dry my keyboard before the Pepsi I just ejected via my nose completely disables it.

spot_the_dog

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