Billy Jeff: “If you elect me…”
Billy Jeff: “If you elect me…”
It’s becoming more and more clear.
A vote for Barack Obama is a bad idea.
I’ll outline my reasons.
He’s an apostate of Islam. That doesn’t necessarily mean he no longer believes many parts of the faith, but it does mean that when Iran, Syria, Lebanon or any number of other countries start to do what they do best, wreak havoc against Israel and the West, Barack Obama may not have the courage to stand up to these countries and may instead attempt to sit down and try to sort the deep-rooted hatreds out, which is a plan destined to fail.
Also as an apostate of Islam, there’s every chance that followers of the Islamic faith may view him as a traitor to the religion, and plan his death. Of course, this is something that is dreamed about by idiots all over the world, except it’s supposed to be redneck, racist Christians who are going to take a shot at Obama. In fact, the US is so bad that the Secret Service is even setting Obama up for assassination. This of course, was revealed by independent liberal media, and we know we can believe them!
A great many of his followers are traitors against the US. For example, the wonderful City of Berkeley is for Barack, as is San Francisco. With friends like these…
Mrs. Michelle Obama. She is not the type of woman who should be First Lady of the United States. She only felt proud of her country, the United States, one of the world’s greatest countries, because her husband just happens to be running for President. Of course, she weaseled out of that with the help of the mainstream media.
Not to mention, she did her damndest to restrict her Princeton thesis from being read. This could be because she wrote in it that:
“My experiences at Princeton have made me far more aware of my ‘Blackness’ than ever before. I have found that at Princeton, no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my White professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really didn’t belong.”
That kind of victimhood just doesn’t belong anywhere near the White House.
Here’s a tip lady: I don’t care if you and your husband are black. I just don’t. I know you won’t believe me, because all us big bad whiteys say that while we’re keeping the black man down, but it’s true. I. Don’t. Care. I care about your policies and how you will deal with both domestic issues and international issues.
Spin. I hate Spin. If you’re so good Obama, and so worthy of being President of the United States of America, why is it you need spin to make your point?
The only good bit about Obama is that he’s such a nice guy!
UPDATE: As a late entrant into the fray, we have this article, asking if Obama can really deliver on his promises.
Today I’ll be giving you the rules of peeing.
Now ladies, you’re probably aware that us guys have the benefit of not sitting down to pee. We get the shiny urinal to piss into, which would appear to be convenient, hygienic and doesn’t require us to put our ass on something that is still warm from another person’s ass. This sounds like a completely good thing with no downsides. And it would be if people were able to follow the Seven Rules of Peeing, which I have developed just now.
1) Always leave a one-person-space buffer where possible.
Do not come and stand beside me and make downs with your zip. Go stand over there where there is heaps of space and absolutely no chance of us crossing the streams and causing a “total protonic reversal”.
2) Do not engage in conversation whilst engaged in urination.
Piss talks are not cool. They’re possibly the most awkward social situation ever. I don’t want to hear how totally wasted you are/upset you are that your girlfriend hates you/your opinions on the inferior quality of the cocktails/reasons why the chick that just knocked you back is a lesbian.
We’re two men holding our penises in a tiny room. It’s weird already. Stop making it weirder.
3) Don’t address another man’s wang. Ever.
I don’t care if it’s big, small, diamond encrusted, semi-automatic or French. You should never in any way address another urinators (I’m just gonna run with that, even though it’s not a word) member. Not even in passing or indirectly. Feel free to breach this rule if you are in the market for black eyes and/or broken noses.
4) Learn and implement some physics theories. Or at least some basic principles of fluid dynamics.
Your piss hitting the urinal at 90 degrees results in splatter. Splatter is the ultimate no-no.
There’s a thousand angles you can opt for, depending on the shape of the urinal which will avoid you splattering everyone within a 6 foot radius.
There’s nothing worse than when you suddenly realise tiny droplets of some fuckwad’s piss are glistening in the hair on your arm or leaving little dots on the leg of your jeans. The worst thing is you can’t address this in any way without breaching rule number 3. Your only option is to shuffle away from the splatter and hope that they don’t have crazy asparagus acid-piss that’s going to leave burns.
5) Wash your fucking hands, you filthy sloth.
It’s called water and you wash your hands with it. You can even use soap and if you’re feeling like it, dry your hands too! This is so that you’re not putting your piss on anyone else. You already pissed on the guy beside you Captain Splatters, the least you can do is not touch everyone else with your Super Manky Genito-Hands. Plus your urine soaked hands smell like homeless. Chicks are not into homeless.
If not for hygiene, do it for the ladies. If you’ve had to read this far to go, “Ok, i’ll do it, but only for the ladies” then you sir, are an asshole. An unwashed filthy asshole.
6) Don’t make noises.
Seriously. Urinating involves relaxing certain muscles. Relaxing implies there is no requirement for physical exertion. Why are you groaning?
Also, deeply exhaling whilst you’re urinating makes it sound like you’re masturbating. Stop it. It’s nasty and you’re creeping me out. If pissing in a room full of men is the closest you come to sexual satisfaction you should seriously look into seppuku. (Not to be confused with bukkake, which coincidentally also requires a room full of men. Eww. Sorry)
7) Pants stay up.
You don’t need to pull your pants down to pee, you degenerate. (I’ve seriously seen a guy do this. It made my brain vomit.)
Now go forth, print these out and put them up in your local pub/bar/school/place where people urinate. If need be, add your own tag and perhaps a poorly spelled comment about someone sucking balls. This should add ‘cred’ to the rules and increase compliance.
Aussie, living in…OH GOD,
That Mother Country…England
CHICAGO — An ousted American political science professor who believes some Jews have exploited the legacy of the Holocaust recently expressed his support for the terrorist organization Hezbollah.
“I have no problem saying that I do want to express solidarity with them, and I’m not going to be a coward and a hypocrite about it”
“I don’t care about Hezbollah as a political organization. I don’t know much about their politics and anyhow, it’s irrelevant.”
“That’s the problem,” he said. “If Hezbollah laid down its arms and said, ‘We will do whatever the Americans say,’ you wouldn’t have a war.
“That’s true, but you would also be the slaves of the Americans. I have to respect those who refuse to be slaves.”
He said Israel must suffer a defeat to lead to peace in the Middle East.
OH. His name Norman Finkelstein. Hmmmmm, isn’t that Jewish?
Alan Dershowitz, a Harvard Law School professor and supporter of Israel, said Finkelstein’s comments show that he is anti-American.
“If it’s not literal treason, it certainly is treason in spirit,” Dershowitz told FOXNews.com. “He belongs with Hezbollah.”
Finkelstein is supporting an organization that brags about killing Americans, he added.
“This is a man who supports an organization that recently called for terrorist attacks against Jews and Americans all across the world,” Dershowitz said.
Alan Dershowitz. Hmmmmmm, isn’t that Jewish? Mr. Dershowitz, isn’t exactly a right wing person. For him to utter such contempt, for Finkelstein speaks volumes.
Hey Finkelstein…Meet, and you will, Azzam the American, Adam Gahdan. Adam is Jewish too. May you both keep your heads about you. NOT necessarily on…but close. Say within a couple of feet or so.
Grow a set, Hussein Obama. You reside in Illinois..The whole damn State knows of the gutter politics of that “toddlin town”, Chicago. In fact, YOU may have used some of those ‘voting head stones’, yourself.
Gotta’ Love It… 🙂
Just in case the Fox News Front Page…refreshes and that beautiful picture, goes POOF….. Fox News
Well, on one hand we have a co-pilot dying mid-flight. The GB Airways flight, from Manchester bound for Pathos,
Greece Cyprus had to be diverted to Istanbul. Could think of worse ways to go, though.
On the other hand, a pilot for Cathay Pacific was recently fired for what you’ll see in the following video. Poor bastard. Apparently, it seems it’s only because their Pratt of a chairman was on board that the captain got the flick. I say, props to the man… 28 feet, apparently. It was a test flight. I say he passed.
It’s Andrew Bolt’s ability to admit when he was wrong and apologise that really makes him stand out from many other opinion journalists in the Australian mainstream media.
That and the fact that he, Tim Blair, Janet Albrechtsen and Gerard Henderson should never travel in the same car, being the only mainstream media commentators in Australia.
Here’s a clean soapbox for you Fran.
Wax lyrical all you like.
These are incredibly cool:
And rightly so!
I’m gonna miss that guy!