Just when one thinks they have heard it all, up pops another vile act.

Boy With Cancer Beaten and Kicked by Mother as Her Boyfriend Holds Him Down/Breitbart TV

Lawyers Aren’t Always Bad

Years ago, in a house far, far away, I was undergoing a course which involved a module to do with the “Law of Evidence”, which involved learning about what types of evidence is acceptable in Courts in Victoria. We did an in-depth study of the case of Leith Ratten, a man from the very far North of Victoria who was convicted of shooting his eight-month-pregnant wife, causing her death.

Now, Leith Ratten may or may not have been guilty, because I’m certainly not convinced “beyond reasonable doubt”, and we all know what that means. Leith Ratten was apparently turning from facing left to facing right while holding a loaded rifle, and he was blind in his right eye. So yes, it could have been intentional, and it could have been an accident. And when he rang the Echuca telephone exchange (who were, and are now, in charge of connecting all phone calls) he said either “Police!” or an unheard (“Ambulance”) “Please!” Again, reasonable doubt springs up.

Add to it that Ratten was having an affair with a married woman at the time. Reasonable doubt all around, either way.

Melbourne Has Wicked Cool Lakes

Lake Aura Vale, Melbourne, Victoria.

This Is Just Great

The first few pins, I have to admit, weren’t so bad.

Plus if I turned to one side I got great reception on SBS. While lancing my right foot, however, he hit something that I’m fairly sure was pretty angry about the whole thing.

“Agh! Take it out!” I screamed.

“It’s OK,” said the hippie, removing the needle. “You just had a really big flow of chi go through your body.”

Possibly. Then again, what might have happened – and this is just a theory – is that a hippie with a “degree” granted him by some guy in Hong Kong who thinks ground-up panda testicles will cure liver cancer just stuck an enormous pin in my foot that responded by sending “pain” messages to my brain which were then expressed by me in the form of screaming agony. As I said: Just a theory.

Read the whole thing. It’s great.

Documentaries Can Be Hilarious

Heard on a documentary on the National Geographic Channel, about the 2003 bombings of Iraq:

“It was important not to hit any more of the enemy than necessary, otherwise the enemy may turn against us.”

Heard on a documentary about an ancient civilization somewhere in South America:

“…and she saved her purity for Paco the Magnificent.”

“Where was Prince Paco, my saviour? Why did he not come for me?”

Paco must be stoked.

This is Just Too Easy

Obama= Urkel.

How could we not see this?